go ahead, explore the island vibes

♪♫ Harleys in Hawaii - Katy Perry

Its been a few weeks! Once again, I was super busy with work. I have been hustlin' hard at work to make extra money and will be doing that until mid-May, which is when I'm moving in with my boyfriend and then going on my vacation to Hawaii. My goal is to have my savings account hit five-figures by May and so far its going well! It sucks that my paycheck will drop by 1/3 (due to dropping one of my jobs), but I knew it was short lived when I took the job (its a job that people usually only do for 6 months - 1 year). Since I've had it, I have been able to pay for a trip to Hawaii, buy a new laptop, buy a new phone, buy a PS4, buy a car, pay for therapeutic massages, buy new clothing/shoes, buy lots of new DVDs/Blu-rays for my collection, plus buy lots of other random items. I have spoiled myself for the first time in my life (I was dirt poor & on government assistance for most of my life). I feel so blessed. ❤

Speaking of Hawaii, I just recently discovered this song and I'm obsessed! I'm not a Katy Perry fan, but I've been really enjoying this song and its getting me pumped for Hawaii in May!



My boyfriend and I finally got to celebrate Valentine's Day! He brought me so many gifts, which I didn't expect at all. He is so sweet! I paid for our dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and gave him a box of Reese cups (his favorite). It was a wonderful evening! We also played video games, went for a walk and went to see the Sonic the Hedgehog movie! The movie was actually surprisingly decent. Speaking of good movies, I also seen Parasite recently, which was amazing! And this isn't a movie, but I Am Not Okay on Netflix is also really good! Highly recommended! Finally, for movie-related news, my copy of Rodger's & Hammerstein's Cinderella on DVD has arrived!


Tonight I'm going out for dinner with my dad, then going to see The Invisible Man at the movie theatre. I hope everyone is doing well!

you're such a heavenly view

♪♫ A Sky Full of Stars - Coldplay

What a week its been! I lost power for a few days after the hurricane hit. It was rough... especially because a few of the movies I downloaded weren't working! I only had three movies to watch, which obviously I went through pretty quick. I spent the rest of the time laying in bed and listening to a portable radio for updates. I also went $30 over my phone data, because I wanted to contact people and find more information about the hurricane. On a happy note though, my service provider is waiving all the additional data fees for hurricane victims, so I don't have to worry about it! I also consider myself lucky because my house didn't get damaged at all (a few of my neighbors had trees hit their homes and/or cars). Oh and I was supposed to work on Saturday (right at the worst of the hurricane), but the buses stopped running and the bridge closed... meaning I had no way there. My co-workers were understanding though and luckily someone was able to take my shift.

Despite the lack of power, I went ahead with my evening plans on Sunday (the hurricane was over at this point); going to dinner and a movie with two of my college friends! Luckily the power at the restaurant and movie theater came back quickly. This is likely because a fire station is on the same power grid. Anyways, we went to a restaurant called Boston Pizza. I had a peach margarita, a veggie pizza, and a mini brownie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream for dessert. It was delicious! We also spent a while talking and catching up with each other before we went to the theater. At the theater, we went to see IT: Chapter Two! Ironically, we went to see the first IT movie together exactly two years prior! Anyways, Chapter Two was amazing! I actually liked it more than the original and the first IT movie. Also, I didn't get any treats at the movie, but I did buy an awesome collectible cup with a little Pennywise on top!


Going to work on the Monday after the hurricane was a bit brutal. I was unable to have a shower due to the power being out and my workplace had no power either! That made things even more difficult because we had to write all our notes by hand and we had to listen closely to the front door because the doorbell wasn't working. It was a rough shift, but the overnight workers had an even worse time because they sat in darkness all night! At least I had the daylight to get me through. A couple hours after I got home that night, my power came back! I was beyond happy. I spent my evening cleaning and then I made myself a nice hot meal for dinner.

I worked most of the week. Luckily I was able to pick up a few extra shifts, which really helped, because I was low on hours. Aside from working my butt off, I got Supernatural Season 14 on DVD in the mail, I made a giant pot of spicy vegetarian chili, and I also did some online shopping! For shopping, I pre-ordered IT: Chapter Two on DVD and Three From Hell on DVD. I also got started on my Christmas shopping! Its not even half of what I need to buy, but its a good start! I figured I may as well get started on it, because I have limited time with working so much. The stuff I got so far is for my best friend Kara and her kids.






For Bentley: Magic Treehouse books 5 - 8 and a robotic hand kit (he gets two gifts because his birthday is close to Christmas).
For Ava: Frozen Lego set.
For both kids: I Spy: Spooky Night and I Spy: Christmas.
For Kara: Ghosts of Mayflower by Tamera Lawrence.
This weekend, I went to visit my boyfriend for a few days. Yesterday was our two year anniversary, so we spent the weekend celebrating. I took him out for dinner (he paid for last year - so it was my turn). We agreed no gifts months ago, but he forgot... so he gave me a telescope! I was shocked!!! He knows how much I love space, so he figured a telescope would be something I'd like... he was so right! I haven't gotten to use it yet (because it was cloudy all weekend), but the booklet says I can see the moon in detail, half the planets, and stars of course! I can even take pictures with it! I'm definitely doing that! My boyfriend also gave me a copy of his apartment keys. I was blown away! Aside from that, we played video games, watched movies, and played Dungeons and Dragons with his friends. It was a lovely weekend. ♥


The only other piece of news I have is that I've decided what I'm getting myself for my birthday/Christmas! Well.. I usually only get cash as gifts, so technically I'm not paying for it. Anyways; its the Switch Lite in turquoise! I also want to get the games Stardew Valley and Deadly Premonition 2. I've spent a lot of time playing with my boyfriend's Switch and I've definitely become addicted to it. I can't wait to have one of my own!


That is all for now! I'm going to get ready for work/running errands. I hope everyone is well! I will try to visit everyone's blog this evening and leave some comments!

take this veil from off my eyes

♪♫ Doin' Time - Lana Del Rey

How have I not blogged for over two weeks?! Time has flown by! I guess I've just been really busy with work. Due to me feeling quite lazy currently, I'm just going to do a bullet point blog. Its not in any particular order, but here is what has happened since my last blog...

I got my grad photos done! It was only $75 for six photos! I had them done with a woman who has a photo studio in her house. She did one of my classmate's grad photos and since they turned out really well, I asked for her contact information and booked an appointment with her. She was super nice and took like fifty pictures, then told me that I could chose whichever ones I wanted to keep. After I chose, she edited them and emailed them to me. Now I just need to print them off myself at a store.


Selfie before getting my grad photos and my favorite from the six photos I got!

I binge watched the new season of Lucifer. It was my favorite season yet. It was so good! Apparently it was the most binge watched show since it came out. It even topped Game of Thrones! I think that definitely means we are getting a fifth season!

I ordered three vegetarian meals for two people from Hello Fresh (which will be just six meals for me). I got a discount, so it came to $37 CAD (including shipping). I cancelled any future orders and contacted them to confirm it. I just wanted to give it a try. Plus I am trying to eat healthier and I work a lot, so it will make things easier for a week. I am excited!

My mentor at my work placement has been raving about how well I am doing. She even told the manager while I was standing there. I have already applied for a job, so I think I have a really good chance of getting it!

My boyfriend and I went to see Avengers: Endgame. It was amazing! Thor was definitely my favorite part, haha! Anyone who has seen the movie will know what I mean.

I spent this past weekend with my boyfriend. I have barely seen him in the past six weeks due to my work placement and school work taking up all my time. It was so amazing to spend time with him! It was the perfect weekend. ♥

I got to go to my favorite vegetarian restaurant for the first time in ages! I had the vegan taco salad, of course. I missed it so much!

I went shopping and treated myself to some awesome stuff! I got a cute crop top with lemons on it, two pairs of black leggings, lemon/peppermint scented soap from Lush and a really good bra!

I graduate in less than a month! I can't believe it! I'm so excited! Also, I got a dress for my graduation. Its flowy and red with flowers. I think I'm also going to get my hair done the day before!

That is all for now! I hope everyone is doing well! I will try to visit everyone on my blogroll and leave a comment!

lift me up to the stars

♪♫ Gnosts N Stuff - Deadmau5 ft. Rob Swire

I keep forgetting to blog! So sorry! A lot has happened since I last blogged. I'll start with Valentine's Day; I was unable to spend it with my boyfriend, so I watched That '70s Show and ate Reese cups by myself. It was fun to have my own little celebration! My boyfriend and I got together and celebrated Valentine's Day two days later, when we both had the free time. Sadly, I was very sick with a cold. It was awful. Despite my sickness, we cuddled, watched TV, and ordered Chinese food to celebrate. It wasn't fancy, but I loved it! We also exchanged cheap gifts (we decided to keep it under $5). I bought him a little box of Reese cups (just like the one I got for myself) and he bought me a horror book (he knows me well).


The week after Valentine's Day, I was mostly sick. However, I did manage to have a pretty decent week! I received my mini coffin shelf in the mail from Sourpuss. Its so cute! I'm not sure what to put on it yet, but I'll figure it out at some point. For now, its sitting on the top of my book shelf. Also, I ended up ordering a collector's edition of Wild at Heart on Blu-ray. I've had my eye on it for months, so I finally decided to get it. Last but not least, I finished reading The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson. It was so good! The ending was so well written and creepy as hell. I definitely need to read more of Shirley Jackson's books!


Earlier this week, I met up with my dad for supper at the mall. It was really nice to spend time with him. I hadn't seen him in a couple months. I also went to the book store and bought two books; Magic Tree House #17: Tonight on the Titanic by Mary Pope Osbourne and Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë. It was about $10 altogether for both books. Such a good deal! Even though I had a good time at dinner and the book store, that day was a stressful one. I ended up crying when I got home from all the stress. Sometimes you just need a good cry. I felt a lot better afterwards though!


A few days ago, my cousin got the insurance money from the flood we had in our basement. She couldn't decide how to divide it up, so she ended up splitting the money evenly between the three of us (my grandmother being the other person). So basically, I got $600 that I wasn't expecting! Wooo! I've decided to save most of it, but I did spend about $100 of it so far. I went to visit my boyfriend this weekend and I took him on a date. We went out for lunch at a local restaurant, then we went bowling. At the bowling alley, I won a Pikachu plushie in a claw machine! It was only $1 and I got it on my first try! He also took me to Wal-mart, where I bought three pairs of jeggings (I need them for school). It was a great day!


Today I found a bunch of supplies from a few years ago when I sold Twin Peaks inspired rings on Etsy. I ended up purchasing $30 worth of additional supplies on Ebay and now I have enough supplies to make fifty rings! Minus the money for supplies, I will make a profit of $620! They were my best selling item back in the day when I had an Etsy shop. I sold at least one per day! I just need to sell three rings to cover the supplies, then its all profit after that. Wooo! I can't wait to get back into it! I'm going to use the money I make from them to pay for driving lessons.

That is all for now. Hopefully I will remember to blog again soon!

I'll make it to the moon if I have to crawl

♪♫ Scar Tissue - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Once again, its been a while. Life in college is chaotic and time consuming. I'm not sure where to start... I got grad photos done! I just have to order them now. Speaking of school... things are going well. We don't have many assignments now that we are close to the end. My internship starts in a month and I've been accepted to the youth shelter once again! I hope they hire me once my internship is done! Its kinda surreal that I'm going to be graduating in a few months. I never thought I would make it. I feel so accomplished!

My boyfriend and I celebrated Valentines this past weekend. Due to being busy and me having a rough patch with anxiety, we weren't able to find the time. Over a week ago, when we originally planned to have Valentines day, I had a massive panic attack and took some anger out on him via text. That caused a few days of upset for both of us. I have never behaved that way towards him before, so it was a shock to him. I explained that people don't think rationally during panic attacks and that I would warn him next time, so that I could deal with it on my own and he wouldn't be impacted by it. Its not fair for him to have to deal with that.

Anyways, for the celebration we had this past weekend, the first thing we did was exchange gifts. I gave him a card that said "I love you a waffle lot" with a picture of a waffle on it and a heart shaped box of mini Reese cups. Waffles are an inside joke for us. He gave me a poem he wrote on a piece of paper that he decorated with hearts and glitter, a heart shaped box of Turtles and a used 3DS with Mario Kart 7. I was so stunned. I nearly cried. I have never gotten such amazing gifts from a boyfriend before. Especially the poem. That is my favorite gift of all! He is so amazing. I feel so lucky!


After that, I made him dinner (pasta with tomato sauce, caesar salad & garlic bread), we watched Predator 3 and played some video games. Sadly I began feeling sick that night and barely slept. I believe that was the beginning of the strep throat that I'm currently dealing with. I had to go to the hospital yesterday. Ugh. Thankfully I got medication and a note for school, so I'm recovering now. Yay! Sadly, I have to go to school tomorrow. Blah. Anyways, back on topic... it was lovely! I really enjoyed it. It kinda felt like I was falling in love with him all over again and I could tell he was more affectionate than usual. I think that is the beautiful thing about love. You don't just fall in love with someone once. You continue to fall in love with them over and over again.

I move back home in a month, so we will have to have a long distance relationship for probably a couple years. However, we are only an hour away from each other, so we can visit each other at least three times a month. I think it will be fine. I will miss him a lot, but I know that one day we will live together and it will have been worth the wait. Its crazy to think about how much my life has changed. I was a homeless high school dropout with a drinking problem and criminal friends. Now I'm a sober college student that has an amazingly supportive boyfriend. I'm so happy!

That is it for now!

there's nothing i can do

♪♫ Space Oddity - David Bowie

Its almost 5:00 am right now, and I'm writing a damn blog. Why? Because I can't fucking sleep. Ugh. I think its the excitement of getting the internet yesterday (even though I wanna say today because I haven't slept yet). But besides being dead tired and cranky as hell...I'm so glad the internet finally got hooked up! I was going insane without it...:P

Yesterday morning is when the installation occurred (side note; I had an odd dream about my ex-boyfriend...). I had just finished my bowl of Lucky Charms when the guy arrived. And he didn't take long at all! Before I knew it, we were all browsing the internet on our electronics, LOL. Matt was driving me a little crazy with hours of loud YouTube videos about nonsense. But I didn't say anything. I was preoccupied with my netbook. :3

I also did a bit of shopping in the afternoon. Matt's mom drove me to the strip mall in the north end. I got a large red water bottle, a double sided mirror, a zebra print manicure set, etc. And I picked up my prescription, plus got lots of yummy food and drinks for Matt and I. We had somewhat of a date when I got home. We stuffed our faces, cuddled and watched Ted. So romantic, LOL. xD

I got pretty sucked into the internet after that. I made a phone call to my grandmother via Gmail...and realized that I need a new headset. But I mostly tried to hunt down stuff for my bedroom online. Not a whole lot of luck with that. But I did find a brand new MP4 Player for $25. It looks just like an old iPod nano, it has 16gb of memory, and it has great reviews from people! I have high hopes! I also ordered a new case/stand for my Blackberry Playbook. Its zebra print, of course. ^_^


I didn't really do much other than that. However...I'm on a hunt to find a phone holder in the form of a mini moon chair. Preferably in the color black. So far I haven't had any luck. If you see one floating around the internet for a good price; let me know! I'll post some examples below. :D


I wanna say "I hope something exciting happens today", but its Sunday...so that is unlikely. Ahhh. D:

Edit at 10:19 pm: I was right. Today sucked. :P

happy valentine's day!

♪♫ Space Oddity - David Bowie

First of all; Happy Valentine's Day! I hope everyone had a good one! Mine was pretty amazing. I'll tell you all about it. But first; my Vampira makeup bag arrived this morning! Its gorgeous! Although...I don't really need a makeup bag. So I'm trying to find another use for it. Maybe storage for my hair accessories? I'm not sure. :P


Since Matt and I are both poor, we decided to just exchange cards and have a cheap dinner at home. Everything was less than $15 altogether! We started with the cards. I was blown away with the card he gave me. He wrote Led Zeppelin lyrics in it! He knows me so well! And the dinner turned out so beautiful, magical and romantic! Well...pizza, cake and cream soda isn't exactly romantic...but we made it look fancy, LOL. Oh and we also dressed up. Matt looked so handsome. ^_^ ♥


We got quite intimate after that. I hauled out my lingerie (which I've never had the chance to use). Really quite lovely. But anyways, his parents came home around dinnertime. They were preparing for a double date with another couple. His mum was so impressed with my cheap Valentine's decorations, that she asked me to decorate the table again. And I got two beers as a little thank you. Mmmm...beer. Oh and red velvet cheesecake. It was amazing *drools*. :3


Thats about it. Right now we're just eating food and watching TV. I'm feeling quite tired though. I may head to bed soon...

thoughts will soon be wandering

♪♫ Turn The Page - Bob Seger

My date on Friday night went really well. Matt was all dressed up. And looking hot I should add. He took me to a diner that reminds me of the Double R Diner from Twin Peaks. It was lovely. Then we went to another place for dessert; he got a brownie sundae and I got red velvet cheesecake. Yum! And somehow we ended up talking about serial killers and psychopaths. LOL, typical me on a date. xD


So I invited him back to my house after that, since my mum was at work and my step dad is deaf and sleeping. We cuddled for most of the night, watched TV and Eraserhead. Which Matt thought was really weird. And we both heard my step dad leaving for work around 4:30 am. I forgot he had to work. Fuck. But he didn't come in my room. So Matt and I started getting intimate. It was amazing. And then he left before my mum came home from work. Which was around 6:30 am. Since I was already awake, I decided to watch Supernatural.


My mum came home and immediately began screaming. Apparently my step dad had texted her and told her that some guy's shoes were in the hallway. So she figured out that Matt was here for the night. But me being stupid...I tried to lie. I said I had no clue what she was talking about. Which didn't help. She hit me really hard in the face. Then she grounded me and told me that no one is allowed to come here ever again. Except for my birthday. Does that make any fucking sense!? I'm almost twenty-one. I'm an adult! I'm so fucking mad. But if I don't listen to her, she is gonna kick me out. I fell asleep crying and feeling like complete shit. :'(

I woke up late yesterday. No surprise. Considering I was up until 7:30 am the night before. But yeah...I spent hours too scared to leave my room. I was afraid of how my mum was gonna act. She mostly ignored me. But she also took my door knob away, decided to think of a better punishment in the new year and get my step dad to check on me at night to make sure I'm alone in my room. I'm in fucking hell. At least my grandmother cheered me up a little bit.

Today hasn't been much better. My step dad wants to kick me out because I said he smells bad. So fucking what!? My mum says that to him all the time! Plus he has called me horrible names so many times and never apologized. He is a complete piece of shit. And my mum spoke to me briefly. Just to tell me what I'm a liar and manipulator. That I'm trying to get people against her, apparently. That she doesn't care if I stop speaking with her forever. And that I only use men for their money. What a fucking cunt. I'm seriously on the verge on committing suicide right now. I can't leave my house, talk to anyone and I've got a drawer filled with pills.

i am the world’s poor pessimist

♪♫ Grand Optimist - City and Colour

Yesterday I got two more packages in the mail; Jimmy Page sweatshirt (which was a huge disappointment - the graphics are awful) and a Double R Diner mug (which I adore). Also, I got a full refund for The Short Films of David Lynch on DVD, which didn't work. So I used the money to buy the second Blade Runner comic. So pumped! I'm pretty sure they're only two...I'm really hoping so...I don't wanna buy another one. :P



I did my homework for my Bible study, then the woman came over and it began. It was really interesting. I learned about hell and how it doesn't exist. It was a misinterpretation in the Bible. But we lost track of time and ended up going fifteen minutes over the set time. And Kara called twice, trying to figure out where I was. So I quickly got ready, packed Kara's gift + card, Jumanji, then got a taxi to BJ's house. BJ and Kara were nice enough to pay for it. :)

The night was wonderful. We played Jumanji three times. We all lost the first time. Then Kara and BJ won at the same time. Then I finally won. Wooo! Its so much fun. I can't wait to play it again! Sadly, Kara had to leave early. So BJ and I walked her home. Then we went back to his house and chilled on the porch for a while. Had a good talk. And I got a taxi home around 1:00 am. I wish I got to see them both more. :(


Today is Kara's birthday! She is my wifey, meatball, best friend, sister and partner in crime. I adore that woman. She is beautiful, smart, funny, weird, strong, outgoing, positive, and more. She is always there for me. To listen, give advice and make me smile. I can never feel sad around her. She knows me better than anyone else. And I'll always have her back and I love her like a sister. I hope she has a wonderful day. Happy birthday Kara! ♥ ♥ ♥


I received another package today; The Creature From The Black Lagoon change purse! Its so perfect! Matches my monster bag perfectly! Anyways, my mum left for most of the day. She went to get her hair done and treat herself to dinner, I'm pretty sure. So I just got ready for my date with Matt, which is in half an hour (& I got a cute picture of myself). She just came home and gave me a little surprise; a box of Turtles! So lovely! Anyways, I gotta head off on my date. I'm excited. ^_^ ♥

blue velvet through my tears

♪♫ Blue Velvet - Lana Del Rey

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday afternoon. I was a little more talkative than usual. But he decided to keep my medication the same. I didn't really wanna go home afterwards. I knew I'd just be bored. So instead, I went to the mall. And I bought some stuff for my future bedroom; queen size red/black comforter, black bed sheets, two zebra print lamp shades, black moon chair, and two lamp bases! Oh and People Magazine (which I'm not a fan of), has an issue out right now called Celebrate The '90s! I would have bought it if it wasn't fifteen dollars. Also; it mentions Twin Peaks! Anyways, I bought a few more things; a card for Bentley's birthday, a card for Kara's birthday, and black lipstick. ^_^



I sat in my moon chair when I got home, and I was so comfortable. I didn't move for hours. I just relaxed. Until I had to make supper, then when I was finished; I went back to the moon chair. I keep looking at all the stuff I ordered online and and the stuff I bought for my future room with excitement. I'm gonna have my dream room. I can't wait! I left a message with two ladies from the housing program to call me back and let me know if I'm close to getting an apartment or not. Waiting to see how that goes. I really wanna move out of here!

Today I had an appointment with my therapist in the afternoon. I found a package waiting for me in front of the door on my way out (I wish the damn mail man would stop leaving things outside my door -_-). It was Fire Walk With Me on DVD! So happy! I had to carry it with me to my appointment and a woman made a comment about how awesome the show is. I love random fan bonding moments, LOL. Anyways, I talked with my therapist about my self destructive behaviour. She wants me to call the rehab (to talk with a counselor), call housing, and call my old guidance counselor. I hope I remember all of that. :P


I went home after that. And things were fine...until I accidentally let it slip that I drink alcohol while taking my medication. I thought my mum was gonna flip out, but she was happy that I told her and gave me a hug. I also talked about my break up with BJ. The sadness is pretty much gone now. I've moved on really quickly. But I'm so used to him being around all the time. I want him to be my best friend again. I miss him. :(

I called the clinic (& it took half an hour to get through), and made an appointment for 7:30 pm. So I relaxed for a bit and drank as many liquids as I could (because I knew they would ask me to pee in a cup). And I got Matt to walk me there. I got a pretty picture when we walked through the square. Its covered in Christmas lights. Really lovely. :3


We had some time to kill, so we went into a few stores. Then we went into the clinic...and sure enough...they gave me a cup to pee in. Does it make any sense that they wanted me to pee in a cup to see why I can't pee!? What the fuck!? I mean, I tried as best I could. But twenty minutes went by, and nothing. So Matt ran out and bought me a bottle of water. I drank it was quickly as possible. Then I tried again, and finally I succeeded! xD

They put me in a room while they tested my pee. And it took a while. But finally the doctor came in and asked me more about my symptoms. He nodded and told me that my symptoms match up with the test; bladder infection. I was right. So I got prescribed antibiotics. I can't wait for it to go away! Its really annoying. -_-

As Matt and I left, it began to snow! It was the first snow fall...at least the first one I've seen. It was so magical! It put a big smile on my face. And then Matt made that smile bigger by asking me if I was hungry, then taking me out for dinner. I'm not sure if it was a date. But I wouldn't mind if it was. Only sucky part was when an annoying guy we know decided to sit with us and tell us a bunch of bullshit stories. Ugh. I was so happy when he left. It gave Matt and I some more time to talk. But we didn't talk for too long. It was getting late, so he walked me home. Now I'm just gonna watch Ravenswood. Maybe Supernatural after that. Depends on how tired I am. :P