guess who is a homeowner?!

♪♫ Lost in the Fire - The Weeknd

I intended to blog much sooner than this, but everything in my life kinda just went to hell. I was evicted from where I'm living. Not because of anything I did. I'll explain; I was renting a room from my cousin along with two other relatives. My cousin got into an argument with one of the relatives and decided she wants us all to leave. Its been a lot of drama and stress. Myself and the other two relatives decided to buy a house together. Where I live, the rent is really high (costs the same for an apartment monthly that it does for a house), and its also hard to find both rentals and houses. Due to that fact, we decided that going for a house is better because at least that way we will own it and get our money back at some point. We also each had signifcant money in our savings and good credit on top of that.

So we applied for a mortgage, and we got approved for $395k! This was exciting, because its usually enough to buy a duplex or small house, but... sadly the market got really crazy. We bid on about seven homes and lost each one. The last one we actually were the highest bid, but the person they chose had cash and so they got chosen over us. It was super frustrating. Just three or four months ago, there were still many homes going for around $350k. Our real estate agent says she isn't sure why, but the market just exploded right before we began searching for a house, which is super bad luck. It was so frustrating and discouraging.

But good news! We got a house! We purchased a brand new mini home just outside of the city. Its in the country, but my drive to work is actually only ten minutes longer because I already lived on the outskirt of the city. The home itself isn't actually ready because its still in the factory, but it will be delivered mid May and then it will be hooked up to power/septic/whatever else by the end of May and we can move in! Although we haven't seen the house in person, we did go inside of a show home and it was amazing! They are built much wider now and using the same materials that regular houses are built with. For example, the house has regular drywall instead of the vinyl panels that a lot of mini/mobile homes are usually made with. The kitchen is bigger than all the regular houses we had bid on too!

Our monthly payments including mortgage, utilities, property tax, and internet is the exact same price that most three bedroom apartments are listed for in my city (and thats utilities NOT included)! We are saving money, and since mini homes are built much better now, they should retain their value, meaning we will get our money back when we sell. Maybe even more if the market is hot whenever we sell it! We haven't fully calculated how much each of us is paying because we need to see our bills first, but I estimate that I'll be paying around $650 monthly. As a student, that is pretty affordable compared to what my other options would be. If I went off on my own, I'd have to put my stuff in storage (costing $150 monthly), and rent a room in student housing (which costs $600-$1000).

Until then, however, my life will be stressful. My cousin wants us out of here by the 1st of April, so I'm going to move with my dad at the end of the week. He lives in a bachelor apartment, so its not ideal. But he got an extra mattress for him to sleep on and says I can sleep on his bed. The nice thing is that its close to my work (a five minute walk away), but I won't have privacy or feel really at home for two months. My only comfort is knowing that by the summertime, I'll be in my own home out in the country and I can have iced drinks on my deck as I listen to music with the sun shining down on me. Sounds so perfect!

I also have plans for my bedroom! This will be no surprise, but I'm going to have a '60s/'70s aesthetic. I have a list of items I'm going to buy and I have the savings all ready to make the purchases when the time comes. Here is what I'm getting...

Top row (left to right): platform bed frame, dresser (that I'll use for my TV as well), & desk for school/writing.
Bottom row (left to right): vintage gold metal record stand, yellow computer chair, & the shade of orange I'm painting my walls.
I have more things I want to buy, but will get those items over time. These are what I want to start with. In addition to those purchases, here is some of what I already have to add to the '60s/'70s aesthetic...

Top row (left to right): floral vintage bedding (this is just a portion of my collection), vintage bedsheet that my mom is going to turn into curtains for my room, & a granny square blanket.
Bottom row (left to right): vintage moon staircase shelf, my record player, & vintage mushroom magazine rack.

I have lots more, but these are the main big items for my room. My collecion of vintage kitchenware will be placed inside a china cabinet in the dining room.
I'm so excited to have a bedroom that feels like home. I haven't had that in a long time. Where I'm living now with my cousin, I was just sleeping on a couch in the basement. Most of my stuff has been in storage and I miss it!

In addition to that, my school semester is almost over... which means its a super stressful time. I have a lot of assignments and projects due soon. Plus exams in a few weeks. I don't even get the summer off, because I signed up for summer classes to speed up my degree. However, I have two weeks at the end of August before the fall semester starts, so I'm going to visit New Brunswick during that time. I can't wait! I'm going to see my best friend and get drunk like I did when I was a teenager, haha. It'll be well deserved after these few months of hell.

I hope everyone is doing well!

baby, you're no good for me

♪♫ Diet Mountain Dew - Lana Del Rey

Unfortunately, I have to start this blog off with some bad news; my boyfriend and I broke up. It was mutual and although I seen it coming, it still really hurt. I cried for a few days. Now I'm feeling like I've accepted it. I'm actually feeling a bit excited to begin dating again, but I don't plan on jumping back into that for a little while. Not just due to the quarantine, but also because I want to spend some time by myself and I want to focus more on my job as well. He was a great boyfriend and I wish him all the luck in the future with finding happiness.

Although he was great, I did let go of myself while we dated. Thats entirely my fault. I stopped putting effort into my appearance and I don't feel like myself now... I haven't for a while honestly. I've decided that once this quarantine is over, I'm putting lots of blue dye in my hair (underneath though so that I don't need constant touch ups), I'm getting a few tattoos, I'm wearing dark dramatic makeup again and I'm going to buy clothes like the ones I used to wear. I also want to start going to the gym/walking everyday and I want to buy those magnetic eyelashes that I keep seeing everywhere. I hear good things about them and I've always wanted longer/thicker eyelashes! I can't wait for the quarantine to end so that I can get started on all of this!

During this quarantine, I want to learn how to play piano. My house has one and I've always wanted to learn, so now seems like a good time! I'd also like to do some writing. I already got started yesterday on a romantic post-apocalyptic short story. It felt good to write again. It felt good to dream and fantasize about love and the possibilities that come with it. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be happy just dating several guys throughout my life and never committing to any of them. I struggle with being tied down. I'm a free spirit. I also love falling in love and I love experiencing that feeling over and over again. But who knows, maybe that guy/girl will come along that will make me change my mind and I'll spend my life with them.

The future looks bright and I'm looking forward to all the things to come. ♥

they meshed the light of moon and sun

♪♫ Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold - The Hobbit

Another week of school has gone by and I haven't had a mental breakdown yet... haha. I had a group project and a group assignment to do this week. We're almost done the project, and we've completed the assignment... which I'm really happy about. However, I found out on Friday that we have a test tomorrow... so I'm pretty stressed about that. I was gonna start studying Friday night, but I was busy with other homework. Then I was going to start it yesterday... and I got super busy again. I started studying earlier today, but I doubt that one day of studying is gonna make a difference. I'll be lucky if I pass... but who knows... it is multiple choice, so I could very well end up passing with a decent mark! Wish me luck!

So I've had an interesting week... on Monday I woke up covered in tiny little bites. I wasn't sure if it was bed bugs or fleas. I emailed my landlord about it, and later that day she brought an exterminator over. He couldn't find any bugs. He said that I likely got bitten when I was outside for too long and just didn't notice right away. That is good news though... bed bugs and fleas are hard to get rid of!

My school was evacuated on Wednesday due to a bomb threat. There a bunch of bomb threats across Canada, apparently. My school wasn't actually specifically targeted, but we were evacuated anyways as a security measure. I was in the middle of doing a project in the computer lab at the time. Thankfully I was able to save my work before rushing out the door! It was pretty freaky! There was a forensic team waiting outside the school, plus a bunch of police officers. Not sure if they have figured out the legitimacy of the threat or not... but I hope everything is good now!

While I was at the grocery store on Wednesday night to pick up a few food items that I needed, I ended up buying some that I didn't plan on; a cute little plastic coffin box! It was only $2 too! I just can't say no to coffin shaped things!


I finally called Canada Post on Thursday. I haven't gotten any mail for a couple of weeks, which is very odd. People have been sending me letters and packages, but they're all being returned to the sender. Canada Post said that my address was correct, and there seemed to be no other reason for mail not being able to be delivered, so they are investigating. They told me that mail should be flowing again within the next week. Hoping that I don't have to contact them again about this. I've never had this happen before... its so weird...

I also did that "describe yourself in 3 fictional characters" thing...


John Locke; because I believe very strongly in destiny, I'm very philosophical, I'm a natural leader, I have one bad parent + a mentally unwell parent, and I don't let people tell me what I can't do! He is one of the first fictional characters I ever connected strongly with, and I even have the word "destiny" tattooed on my right wrist because of him!
Steven Hyde; because I'm very chill, I love Led Zeppelin, I hate the government, I do my own thing, and I have curly hair.
Chandler Bing; because I'm very awkward, I make jokes too much, I'm sarcastic often, my love life is not very exciting, and I smoke cigarettes on occasion.
Oh and I found out what my patronus is on Pottermore...


Not sure how to feel about it...
Yesterday I got to try out Amy's tofu scramble breakfast wrap. I wasn't expecting to like it so much... but holy damn! Its so damn delicious! I ended up having another one this morning for breakfast. Definitely a new addiction! Honestly though... Amy's in general is an addiction for me, haha! Also, I re-watched the first two Harry Potter films, and got some Subway for dinner. So it was a pretty great day!


Today has mostly consisted of cooking/preparing food (mostly a bunch of rice & tofu), watching Harry Potter films, and studying for my test tomorrow.


Last, but not least... I really want to start re-watching LOST, but its not on Netflix anymore and all my DVDs are back home. I will just wait for a few weeks when I'm back home visiting to pick up the first few seasons. I normally re-watch it once a year. However, it usually takes a month or less to get through all six seasons. So... because I'm in school, it will probably take until January to finish all six seasons. I'm cool with that though. I'm just excited to dive back into the world of LOST! I also want to re-watch The Hobbit movies... which I also have on DVD back home. I have a feeling that I will have a big stack of DVDs to bring from home next time I'm there.

I'll leave you with another awesome picture + quote that I found on Facebook...

the road is now calling

♪♫ The Last Goodbye - Billy Boyd

I finally have some free time to write a blog! I think I will be writing blogs on Sunday from now... it seems to be the only day that I have a lot of free time. Anyways... its been a good, but slightly stressful week. I have a lot of assignments and whatnot to do for school. I'm trying not to freak out about it. I'm sure everything will be alright. I'm just doing my best, and that's all I can really do. Self care is emphasized in my course (in order to reduce stress), so I've been treating myself a bit with giant chocolate chip cookies from the gas station and Vitamin Water xoxox (acai-blueberry-pomegrante). I've also been reading IT by Stephen King. I find that reading really gets my mind off of stress. Its like going into another world for a while!


Before moving into a rooming house for college, I was making smoothies every morning for breakfast. However, its quite loud first thing in the morning, so I decided to switch lunch and breakfast around. So I started having smoothies for lunch and wraps/sandwiches for breakfast. It seemed to be working out at first, but then I found that I didn't have much time at lunch to make a smoothie and clean up. So I decided to do this; every night I'm gonna make overnight oats for breakfast and a wrap/sandwich for lunch, so all I need to do is take it out of the fridge when I'm ready to eat it. Its been sooo much easier! I also made up my own overnight oats recipe that is amazing: 1/2 cup of rolled oats, 1/2 cup of unsweetened almond milk, 1 tbsp of agave syrup, 1 heaping tbsp of ground flax seeds, 1/2 tbsp of semi-sweet chocolate chips, 1 heaping tsp of unsweetened cocoa powder, 1/2 tsp of chia seeds, and 1/4 tsp of cinnamon. In the morning I sprinkle on some almonds or pecans, and a sliced up banana. Its sooo fucking delicious! For lunch I also came up with a super simple recipe that I use every single day: tortilla wrap, vegan mayo, mixed baby greens, sliced tomato, baked tofu, and veggie ham! Its also super delicious! I eat the overnight oats for breakfast and the wrap for lunch every single day! Dinner and snacks are the only things that I switch up.


The only thing left to talk about is my trip back home for the weekend. I actually just got back home this morning. I was only there for one and a half days, and two nights. It felt kind of rushed, but I enjoyed myself anyways. We had some Chinese food the first night (Friday) that I got there. I had vegetable fried rice with tofu, which was super yummy. Then we went to the grocery store and dollar store. My grandmother bought me some stuff that I needed from both places. By the time we got home, I was completely exhausted, so I went to bed. Yesterday was much more eventful. I woke up early, and had an amazing breakfast (coffee & multi grain Cheerios with a sliced up banana + some grains/nuts sprinkled on top - unsweetened cashew milk for both). I can't function at all without a healthy breakfast!


After that I got started on my laundry (I wanted to save money on laundry ~ so I brought it home with me), and got ready to go out. Around noon, my grandmother and I caught the bus, then we transferred to the ferry to get downtown. We met up with my father on the waterfront and had lunch together. I got my favorite meal ever; a vegan taco salad from the Heartwood, and my grandmother and father both got big orders of fries from a place a few doors down. We ate outside, so it didn't matter if we got our food from the same place or not. Anyways, my grandmother left after lunch, so my father and I walked around downtown for a few hours. I ended up buying myself lots of cheap stuff, including some food items to bring back with me, some horror movies on DVD and Blu-ray, a couple Alice in Wonderland pins, etc. I also got some free comic books from a comic book store! When I finally got back to the house, I had a quick dinner, then I went out with my grandmother and my cousin. I had to get some stuff at the Bulk Barn, plus the grocery store again. It was kinda late when we got home, but we decided to watch a movie anyways. We went with Jersey Boys, which is about Franki Valli and The Four Seasons. It was pretty good! But I ended up going to bed before it ended. I was too tired.


Thankfully the bus trip was just a little over an hour long. I spent that time getting some homework done, listening to music, and enjoying some delicious pumpkin bread from Starbucks that I bought yesterday. I spent a bit of time unpacking when I got home, then I went to the grocery store and Subway. I had a lot of things to do when I got home afterwards. I had to clean, do homework, order new shop supplies online, make lunch for school tomorrow, wash some dishes, etc. I think I'm gonna watch The Lord of the Rings (I wish I could watch The Hobbit ~ but I left my DVDs back home) tonight and just relax. I may eat some junk food too. Not sure yet...


I'll leave you all with this picture I found on Facebook. I love Jim Morrison, the lyrics, and the editing job. Its all so beautiful! ❤️

getting things done

♪♫ Nothing

I passed the GED reading test! I'm so excited! It has definitely got me all pumped up for doing the next four tests. I wanna get three more done in the next month, then I'll be doing math last (in early May). When I get my complete GED, I'm gonna go off my diet for a night to celebrate! I'm definitely getting a burger, fries, and sparkling wine! Maybe even a dessert too! Its a big deal, so there is no way I'm gonna not have a big fancy meal! I may even go to the casino too. Not sure yet. Either way, its gonna be awesome!

Last night I dug out my old jewelry from my closet. It was in a box, and wow... it smelled musty as hell. I usually clean musty smelling jewelry with a toothbrush and toothpaste (works like magic!), but this jewelry has feathers, suede, and/or fabric cords... so that isn't really an option. The best solution I could find was to leave it in a container (with a lid) filled with baking soda for a week. So that is what I'm doing. I've read tons of reviews for it, and apparently it gets the musty smell out of pretty much anything. It also kills a certain type(s) of mold too. They're all very sentimental pieces, so I'm hoping it works. I don't wanna have to throw them away!

I also got to thinking about writing last night. I used to be super passionate about writing. I started writing stories as soon as I learned to write! It was a big part of my life for... well... most of my life. But I haven't written anything good since I was 17, due to being in a deep depression for quite a few years (that I've come out of in the past year). I even had a poem published when I was in high school, which is one of my greatest achievements thus far. However, my writing skills are definitely rusty as hell right now. I couldn't write a good story to save my life. But I bet if I start writing again for practice, I'll be able to write a good story in a couple years or so...

Its actually always been my dream to be a published author, so I wanna make it happen! I'm thinking that I won't have anything ready to publish until my early 30s though. So yeah... I'm gonna start slowing getting back into writing again! I need the practice, plus I just enjoy writing in general, so there is that too. I'm gonna start with poems, then work my way up to short stories, then eventually I'll be writing a novel! Wish me luck!

Now I gotta figure out what to do for the rest of today...

wild at heart & weird on top

♪♫ Nothing

Not much new has happened since my last blog. I was feeling sick all day yesterday. Ugh. I hope I'm not getting the flu/cold that Matt's mom has. But anyways, I just wanted to write a short blog to say...

happy 68th birthday to david keith lynch!
He'll forever be my hero. I truly adore him. I hope his birthday will be damn fine. ;) ♥

i'm just not quite myself

♪♫ Heart In A Cage - The Strokes

I went on a rather dismal adventure to Subway to snag wifi in order to write this blog. And do other things online. But mostly this. So yeah...the day after my last blog...well it was lame as hell. Matt's parents went out, so we were left alone. I was feeling kinda down. Winter blues, I'm quite sure. So Matt and I got dressed up and took pictures. The lighting does not do my hair justice. But I like the pictures anyways. ^_^ ♥


I decided to take more pictures of myself yesterday morning. It helps my self esteem...somehow. My favorite one is the one where I'm looking out a window. It looks so pretty. FYI; it was inspired by Dreamer by Ozzy Osbourne. That song has really been speaking to me lately. :3


Also; the Inland Empire (a David Lynch movie) shirt that I ordered...finally arrived! Its perfect! I'm in love with it! :D


I mostly spent the rest of my day cleaning and relaxing. Matt and his parents went to get groceries and whatnot. At two different places, strangely. He didn't know his parents were shopping, and vice versa. But they all came home at the same time. And now there is a nice stock pile of yummy food and cleaning supplies. Wooo! Oh and we had fried chicken with fries for dinner...yum! :)

Today has been pretty great. I had to do a lot of heavy lifting and moving things around not long after waking up. But I got to download new episodes of my favorite shows, and I received three packages in the mail; black round sunglasses, cereal flavoured lip balm, and Supernatural Pop! Funko vinyl figures! They're all sooo perfect! Especially my mini Sam Winchester. I'm a Sam girl for sure. ♥ ♥ ♥


Nothing else interesting occurred today, to be honest. Matt and I cleaned out the spare room, moved some stuff around, relaxed, etc. Blah. But anyways, I better get going. Its getting late. And I think we're gonna watch a horror movie (Stephen King's IT or The Poltergeist) and cuddle a bunch. :) ♥

pump it up a little more

♪♫ Pump Up The Jam - Technotronic

Well, even though I barely left my house since my last blog, I've got a lot to talk about. Starting with: I really want to get into Transcendental Meditation. I was researching it on Friday. It sounds perfect for me. It only takes twenty minutes everyday and it reduces anxiety, which I clearly have a lot of. There is a course for it nearby, but I'm not sure if its free or not. I'm not paying money to learn how to meditate. That just sounds silly. I also found out that women's boxing will be $50 a month. I can't afford it right now, but I will be able to if I get more disability money (which I'm supposed to get soon).

I don't fully recall what else I did on Friday. I also can't remember if I started writing on Friday or Saturday. Yeah, you heard that right; I started writing again! Right now its a practice story, because its been so long since I wrote anything (besides a blog). Its not super amazing and I don't have any solid plans with it. I'm just sorta making it up as I go along. But I've got about eight readers who love it, which makes me feel good. I do know that I want to finish it, because I've never finished a story before. I wanna prove to myself that I'm capable of doing it, so that I can actually write a novel next year to be published. Its gonna be a long and tough journey. But what I really want, is for people to leave comments on the chapters and let me know what they think. I can take criticism, as long as you aren't a complete cunt about it. There is always a nice way to say something that isn't very pleasant. And I'm hoping for detailed opinions. I want to improve on my writing and I can't do that if I'm unaware of my mistakes. So if you want to read it and leave a comment...

Click here to read my new story!
There is a summary on the front page, so you can read that and see if it's your cup of tea. If not, don't bother reading. Also, I should warn everyone that its quite graphic. There is lot of drug use, sex, violence, swearing, etc. I went really overboard with messed up characters. Don't expect a happy story about bunnies and rainbows. Its blunt. Very blunt. And I had no hesitation to write scenes that were far beyond anything I've ever written before. This story has no boundaries.

Oh, I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's for the first time on Saturday night. I loved it, surprisingly. I think older romance movies are way better. So much classier and beautiful. I was so sad when she let the cat out of the taxi, but when she found the cat again, I was happy. The poor thing was soaked and looked so sad. I think I'm gonna watch some more romance movies from the 60's. Apparently their is a movie with Audrey Hepburn and Anthony Perkins, which got me excited. I must watch it! I guess I also re-watched some Shameless episodes and made perogies before I went to bed.

I woke up late on Sunday and took so long to get ready because I was distracted by everything. Especially the announcement of the 12th doctor (Doctor Who): Peter Capaldi! I was nervous when I first heard it, but then I reminded myself how nervous I was every time the doctor regenerated and how I ended up loving them all. So I'm sure he is gonna be great. I'm so excited! But I'm also really gonna miss Matt Smith. It breaks my heart a little bit. And I hate waiting for the 50th anniversary special. I'm so impatient! Ahhhh. D:

I finished getting ready right before my boyfriend showed up and took a cute picture of myself (I'm starting to not hate my hair!). I need to be less slack about things. Anyways, we went for a walk and sat on a bench to discuss my story. My boyfriend loves to talk about my stories and give me input. He never usually has anything bad to say, but he gives me new ideas and tells me who his favorite characters are and the scenes he liked the most. After our talk, he took me out for dinner for our late anniversary (11 months!). We went to Rocky's and for once I didn't get a poutine. I got an amazing bacon cheeseburger, fries with gravy and chocolate milk. I love that place so much.


We walked around for a little while after that. We discussed my story a little more. I feel like my own worst critic right now, because everyone says they love it, but I keep over analyzing it and thinking its awful and that everyone is lying to make me feel better. Its gonna take me a while to get used to this whole 'writing again' thing. I hope I don't give up on it, like I usually do with everything I start. I don't have a lot of self confidence, but I'm working on it. Anyways, I got some Subway, then he got a taxi home. I watched Breaking Amish: LA and True Blood, took a cute picture of my cat, then passed out.


Yesterday was a holiday. Apparently it was "New Brunswick Day" and I never heard of it until recently. I usually spend my summers in Nova Scotia, so I always miss it. I'm not even sure if there was any sort of celebration happening. Anyways, Kat and Missy came and picked me up around 3:00 pm. We got some McDonald's (I hardly ever eat that shit) and went to Kat's to watch True Blood. Her new apartment is really nice! I like it a lot more than the old one. all the walls are painted really nice colors. I wasn't there for long. Kat had to go back to her old apartment and clean it out, so she dropped me off at my house.

I spent the rest of yesterday writing the second chapter for my new story. Its much longer than the first one and took so much time. I'm pretty sure I wasn't finished until 9:30 pm. Then I started working on the pictures for the character's pages. They're all there now, so you can see what everyone looks like. I still need to write biographies for a lot of them, but I'm too lazy right now. I wanna focus on the actual story more than the side pages. But I'm happy with it so far. I don't even recall doing anything else last night. I was so into writing. :D

Today has been good so far. I finally got to cash my check! It didn't come on time, then the bank was closed all weekend, then yesterday was a holiday...ugh. I'm just happy I got it now. I had to buy a bus card, then got the bus to the north end. I was on my way to get groceries, but I spent some time looking around in stores first. I found a copy of Mario Party 7 for the GameCube for only $6 at a pawn shop! The cheapest one I found online was $40. It was the most amazing deal I've ever gotten on a video game! I'm so happy! I haven't tried it out yet, but the guy at the pawn shop told me that if it doesn't work, I can bring it in and get it fixed for free. :3


So I finally got to the grocery store after that. I only went $3 over budget. I got tons of delicious food, including chocolate chip cookies, rainbow sorbet and lemonade. I got some healthy stuff too. But I can't deny my cravings for junk food sometimes. I also got a $25 gift card for myself, so that I can get more food later in the month. Then I got a taxi home. I didn't want to, but I had too many groceries to carry on a bus. And somehow I ended up with 35 extra dollars, even though my budget told me that I wouldn't even have 5 extra dollars. I'm not sure how that happened. But oh well. I can't complain. :P

Since I've gotten home, I've just been online, talking to people and whatnot. I also had my dinner; a sub, a giant chocolate chip cookie and mixed berry Powerade. Plus I watched The Colbert Report. Nothing too interesting. Still waiting for feedback about my story from a few people. Makes me quite anxious. I hope they like it!

P.S. Special thanks to Robyn for giving me all her awesome opinions on my story and suffering through me being overly paranoid. LOL. ♥

tomorrow gets me higher

♪♫ Under Pressure - Queen

Today was pure amazing! I had to wake up early for my grandfather's birthday lunch (his birthday was actually two days ago). Before going to the restaurant, we stopped at the bank and the drug store to put in a prescription for my pills and get some stuff that I need. Then we went to Steak and Stein. They have the most amazing food. The only time I eat steak is when I go there. They have a special marinating sauce. I wish I knew what it was, but its a secret apparently. So after dinner, we picked up my prescription and went to the bread store (we don't have a bread store where I live - its just day old bread sold for cheap prices). Then finally, we got home. I had to rush showering and getting ready to go to my tattoo appointment.


I had to wait for half an hour when I got there, even though I arrived on time. Apparently he was piercing a girl's nose and there was some sort of complication. The entire time I was waiting, I felt like I was gonna pass out, puke or have a panic attack. My anxiety was through the roof. Then finally he came upstairs and it was time to get my first tattoo. I had to send the picture of what I wanted to his email, then he printed it off and used some special paper stuff to put the sketch on my wrist (but he shaved and sterilized my wrist first). He had to prepare everything, which took about ten minutes. So I was sitting there with my wrist on the table, trying to calm myself down. Finally he began and holy motherfucking hell it hurt like a son of a bitch. I scrunched my face up and froze solid. The pain went away halfway through and it wasn't that bad at all. He did an amazing job and now I wanna get a fuck ton more tattoos! Picture is below. Keep in mind that its still sore and puffy, so it will look better next week. :)


And no, it's not a name. It's something I believe in. It's inspired by the character John Locke from the show Lost. He truly made a big impact on my life. I know that I have a great destiny and my tattoo will remind me of that in moments when I feel like all hope is lost. I've wanted it for four years or more, so I won't be having any regrets. It is one of the most important things to me now. I'm just not looking forward to having people ask me who "destiny" is. That is why I went with a lower case "d". But the world is full of idiots...

We had to go to the grocery store afterwards to pick up a few more things and I just couldn't stop staring at my tattoo. But that can be a bad thing for me, because even though its well done, I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I will pick out the tiniest flaws and let it drive me insane. I'm trying not to look at it for too long to avoid that. So yeah...I got a couple treats too; gold nail polish and a crossword scratch ticket. Oh and we went through the Wendy's drive-through so that I could get chili cheese nachos. Today is my cheat day. Back to healthy food tomorrow. When I got home, I put on the nail polish and its stunning. I didn't win anything on the scratch ticket though. :(


Only one thing left to say...

Happy birthday to Jared Padalecki!
I've written a blog on Jarebear's birthday every year since I started this blog. So I'm keeping the tradition alive. He is one of my favorite people ever. I just fucking adore him so much. And I won't forget the date I got my first tattoo either, because I always remember it was on Jarebear's birthday. ^_^ ♥

all these things i give to you

♪♫ Archangel - Samhain

Since I haven't blogged in a while, I'm gonna write a blog in bullet form, because I'm too lazy to write a proper one. None of these are in order, by the way...

I celebrated six months with BJ by getting Subway, watching horror movies and other things. ;)

Downloaded a fuck ton of movies and seasons of shows.

My boyfriend took me out for dinner at Pizza Hut.

Ordered a bag from Ebay with monsters on it and a red phone case. ♥

Found out that I might have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder (I will be going for testing in a couple weeks).

My boyfriend took me to Deluxe for supper, then the movies to see Oz The Great and Powerful (which was awesome!).

Decided to order two more things once the money goes into my Paypal account (it takes 6 - 8 days).

Finished watching Freaks and Geeks and it was amazing!

Feeling stressed out about getting my GED and getting into college.

I haven't really spoken to or seen my friends in a while.

Completely cleaned and organized my room.

Decided to download the entire series of Road to Avonlea. I used to watch it all the time when I was a kid. I remember getting an old fashioned dress and having tea parties because of that show.

My sleeping schedule is still fucked up. I still stay up all night and go to sleep at 7:00 am.

Filled up my mini fridge with about fifty dollars worth of food and half of it is healthy!

Found out they are making a Jeepers Creepers 3, I'm so excited!

Feeling inspired to write lately.

Started feeling a lot better about my body lately.


I wish that I didn't wait so long to write a blog, because then I would have more accurate details. But oh well, I'm gonna try not to slack next time. :P

my burning sun will someday rise

♪♫ Doin' Time - Sublime

The day after writing my last blog, I spent my time flipping through the channels and eating junk food. I ended up watching a two hour special of extreme makeover. It was about a woman who was over 300 lbs and got down to around 160 lbs in a year. How? Exercising and eating healthy. I was really inspired. I'm 50 lbs overweight and its the heaviest I've ever been. I've decided to make a lifestyle change and so far its going good. I've been taking it slow. I still have junk food in my diet, but I'm slowly eating less and less. Eventually I will only have one treat a week. I've also cut down on portions of food. As far as exercise goes, I've been walking, biking and using weights. I actually feel like I lost 5 lbs in the past few days. :)

Yesterday was a much needed shopping day. Usually when I go into a store and try clothes on, I feel fat and gross. But knowing that I'm gonna lose weight has made me feel more confident and happy. So I ended up loving everything I tried on. And lucky for me, there were a bunch of sales. The most expensive thing I bought was $15 and the cheapest was $3! So I got six shirts, a skirt, a pair of tights and pajama pants. I'm very happy! ^_^

All the new clothes I got!
Today, I've spent most of my time downloading movies and seasons of shows. I also decided to watch Eraserhead on Friday. Its a movie that is considered one of the most disturbing films ever made. As a horror movie fanatic, I've always been scared to watch it. But I'm finally gonna do it. I'm not sure what to expect. Wish me luck! Heres a trailer...


I've saved the best for last: I got my hair done today! No more of that yucky dark brown/faded red/blonde roots. My hair was a disaster of colors. But I've gone back to my natural hair color with blonde highlights. I'm very happy with it! And I'm not gonna dye my hair anymore. Its too much of a hassle.

My hair before I got it done. Not the best picture, but you can somewhat see the different colors.

In the process of getting my hair done.

The finished look! I love it!
Thats all until next time! :3

together we shall go until we die

♪♫ Thank You - Led Zeppelin

Happy Canada Day!
I had a pretty eventful day. I spent the whole day with my grandmother and my cousin Marta. We went to Tim Horton's for lunch (had a delicious sandwich) and went to a flea market (got a snake ring & a fridge magnet). After that we went to Winners (got a pajama shirt) and got some groceries (including my little Canada day cake). Later in the evening, we went to see the fireworks. I'm a very proud Canadian and I love Canada day! █ ♥ █

I'm possibly getting my hair done on Friday. Going back to blonde! Also, I'm most likely gonna get my new phone. I'm really hoping I get more work, because I want new clothes. I wanna dress more classy and elegant. I don't feel girly enough (I generally wear a leather jacket, tank top, jeans & converse.). This summer is going good so far.

P.S. I'm most likely gonna do a re-vamp of my entire blog next week. I'm working on a new layout, because I finally got inspiration. I just have a lot of things to do first. ^_^