so tired of fire, so tired of smoke

♪♫ Good Day Today - David Lynch

Prior to my last two blog posts about David Lynch, I had not blogged since August. I figured I should write a quick blog of life updates since I slacked off so much on writing blogs for a while...

» I got color added to my flower tattoo.

» I had a great fall; I made pumpkin-shaped pumpkin spice bread, took a gorgeous picture of some fall scenery near my house, had my favorite Halloween candy, had pumpkin cheesecake made by my aunt, gave myself Halloween themed nails, had a caramel apple that was also made by my aunt, carved a Jack-O-Lantern, and ate lots of Halloween candy while watching scary movies.

» I saw the Northern Lights again! This time it was a super intense show and it was right above rather than just on the horizon. I didn't need to squint at all. It was so bright and colorful!

» Went to visit my best friend in New Brunswick for a couple weeks in December. She gave me gifts for my birthday and Christmas: a Hello Kitty light up travel mirror and a glass Merry Mushroom canister ornament. I was screaming with joy over the ornament because I wanted one so badly, but I couldn't find one here in Canada and websites that sold it wouldn't ship it to Canada either. She lives ten minutes from the U.S. border, so that is where she bought it! In addition to that, we did lots of fun stuff like going to the biggest antique mall in Maine (sadly I didn't find anything I wanted though).

» I had a good birthday in December. I had a couple birthday dinners with different groups of people, plus one cake that was delicious.

» I got awesome gifts for my birthday and Christmas: a Middle Earth themed cookbook, a Tolkien companion book, a sterling silver/high quality version of the Evenstar necklace, a workbag, a compact phone tripod, the video game Stray for PS4, a light up makeup mirror, Turtles chocolates, socks, and cash.

» I made shortbread cookies and watched The Muppet Christmas Carol like I do every year.

» Although my best friend gave me a glass Merry Mushroom ornament, I had already been working on making myself one with polymer clay and acrylic paint. I finally finished it! It isn't perfect, but I am proud of it.

Aside from all of that, there isn't anything else major. I have mostly been focusing on school, work, and planning my trip to Europe for next fall. This month has been rough with the political issues we are experiencing in North America, plus David Lynch's death. I am holding out hope for things to improve and the grief to pass, but it has been hard. I hope everyone is well!

happy birthday david lynch

♪♫ I Know - David Lynch

Its been four days since I found out David Lynch passed away. The grief has been intense and challenging to deal with. I have never experienced grief like this for a person I had never met, nor did I anticipate experiencing grief like this. He just had such a profound impact on my life. I seen a post from a girl who said that David Lynch was like a lighthouse for weirdos, and I couldn't agree more. I've always been weird, and he made me see that weird is beautiful and nothing to hide. I am proudly weird because of him.

Today would have been his 79th birthday, so happy heavenly birthday David. I hope wherever you are, there is lots of coffee, infinite cigarettes, and a studio with endless art supplies. To celebrate his birthday, I participated in the ten minute meditation session his family invited his fans to join in on. I also had two cookies and a Coke. I think that will be my new tradition every January 20th; meditation, followed by two cookies and a Coke. I am also re-watching Eraserhead tonight. I have already re-watched The Art Life and Lynch (one).

I miss him so much.

its been too long...

♪♫ Dilemma - Green Day

Wow! Its been way too long since I last blogged. Oops! I have had an eventful time since my last post. I'm too lazy to write it out, so I'm going to list it in bullet form (in no particular order):

• I went on a two week trip to see my best friend Kara. She lives near the US border, so we went on a trip to Bangor, Maine for a night. We did Stephen King touring (on our own), since we are both big fans. We also did lots of shopping and ate at Olive Garden (my favorite restaurant ever now). I purchased a lot of stuff at Walmart and Target, haha. Some items include; a Tree Hut body scrub (which I'm obsessed with now), a Goosebumps sweatshirt, a little plush Pennywise doll, a Body Fantasies spray, a jack-o-lantern face shirt, snacks, and more.

• Began planning for a Salem/Boston trip in August 2024. We are driving (only 5.5 hours from where my best friend lives). We are going for four days and have already booked our Airbnb. However... for our last night, we are actually staying the night at Lizzie Borden's house in Fall River. We are both really into paranormal stuff and true crime, so we are super excited!

• Speaking of trips, I went to Ontario in November, and stayed there for four days. It was my first time there, and I really enjoyed it. Also, the trip was almost free because I used an Air Canada voucher (they gave me because of the 24 delay/cancellation when I returned from New York), which covered the cost of the roundtrip flight. I also stayed with a friend, so the accomodation was free. She lives in Hamilton, which is halfway between Toronto and Niagara Falls, so we went to both! We did Toronto the first day, where I saw the CN tower, did some shopping, and wandered around. Then the next day we did Niagara Falls. We stayed at an Airbnb for the night because we had plans to drink. First we stopped at the falls to see them lit up at night, then we went to a bar and got drunk, haha. The next day we drove across to Niagara Falls, NY to eat at Olive Garden. The whole trip was tons of fun!

• I graduated from university. I got my degree with honours and I also made the dean's list, so I am very proud of myself! After my graduation ceremony, I went out for lunch with family to celebrate and I got some gifts; a 10k gold heart locket, a Juicy Couture purse, and Halloween cupcakes. Not pictured are the monetary gifts I recieved.

• I already started another degree at a different university. I am doing a social work degree now. Its online and since I'm doing it part time, it should take about three years to complete.

• I have discovered I have mild lactose intolerance. Since I switched to lactose free products, I am feeling a lot better.

• I have been cooking a lot more and perfecting my skills. I've made stews, soups, gumbo, goulash, and more. Everyone has raved about how good my food is! I ended up buying the cutest crockpot that is the perfect size to make myself a few days' worth of meals.

• I turned 31 in December. I decided to go visit my best friend Kara again. Her birthday is also in December, so we decided to celebrate together. Before I left, I had a dinner with my family and they gave me gifts. I forgot to take pictures of most of the gifts. However, I did get a picture of the gifts my dad gave me; David Lynch's Dynamic:01 on DVD, Sex Pistols on vinyl, and the Criterion version of Lost Highway. He knows me so well!

• When I went to visit my best friend Kara, we did lots of stuff. For celebrating our birthdays, we got an ice cream cake that has our nicknames for each other on it (long story haha), and had a fancy dinner with drinks. We also exchanged gifts. While I was there, we also visited the US multiple times for shopping and eating out (since its so close to her house). I went a little crazy at the US Walmart, haha. I stocked up on a year's worth of Tree Hut scrubs because we don't have them in Canada. The downsides of the trip was a windstorm that knocked the power out for a few days, having food poisoning for two days, and getting a flat tire just before my trip!

• As soon as I returned from my birthday trip, I only had a few days until Christmas, so I got right to work on making a double batch of my family's traditional shortbread cookies. This year's batch was the best so far! I also added a new shape to the cookie cutters: mushroom! Its so cute!

I can't think of much else that is new. I will try to keep up with blogging!

happy birthday to me!

♪♫ E.T. - Katy Perry

Yesterday was my 28th birthday, which I celebrated covid style (aka staying home, watching Netflix, eating lots of food, etc). There was actually a snowstorm yesterday, so I celebrated with family the day before. They ordered me pizza and bought me an oreo cake, both of which were delicious! Plus they gave me gifts. I wish I could have gone out and had friends join the celebration, but y'know... pandemic and all...

I didn't take pictures of my gifts this year because I didn't feel up to it. But here is what I got;

• Amazon Echo Dot (3rd generation) Smart Speaker with Alexa in the color "fig".
• Smart light bulb comptatible with Alexa.
• Forks Over Knives cookbook.
• The book Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins.
• Lush products.
• Turtles chocolates.
• Clothes from Shein and other online stores.
• A turquoise tote bag.
• A fluffy pink polka dotted headband with a bow (for when I'm doing my makeup, washing my face, and/or doing a face mask).
• A turquoise velvet robe and a lavender satin robe.
• A 2021 calendar.
• A bookstore gift card.
• A clothing store gift card (which I've already used to buy a new winter jacket).
• Two pairs of earrings.
• Two pairs of reading glasses.
• A black beanie with a yellow embroidered sun on the front.

I recieved birthday money early in December, so I purchased about 1/3 of these items for myself. My favorite gift is the Amazon Echo, which my best friend Kara bought for me. I have really been enjoying using Alexa and I'm finding it really helpful for everyday life. I'm so thrilled with it! Also, here is two selfies with two of the clothing items I got...

I mostly got tops/shirts for clothing. I'm slowly re-doing my wardrobe. During my last relationship, I dressed a certain way due to trying to impress my ex. I hate that I did that... ugh... anyways, now I'm trying to dress how I actually want to. The website Shein has been super helpful because they have a massive plus size section, really good prices, decent shipping times, and they also often have sales/coupons!

I have really been missing writing lately. I want to get back into it. I have also been thinking of university lately. I definitely am craving a change in my life path and haven't entirely figured out what to do, but its exciting to think about! Aside from that, nothing else is really new... except that I made a vegetarian shepherd's pie! It turned out so good!

Update at 2:01 pm: I just really wanted to share this amazing Twin Peaks/Seinfeld crossover shirt that I got!

want you to take me for a ride

♪♫ Harleys in Hawaii - Katy Perry

I'm back! I've been busy lately with packing to temporarily move, buying/wrapping Christmas presents and working as always. I finally managed to finish my Christmas gift shopping and gift wrapping today! Yay! So excited to give everyone their gifts! Speaking of gifts, I got one of my birthday gifts early; a Christmas cactus! I've named her Esmerelda. She is a beauty!

Another plant related update; my African Violet has started blooming randomly! It usually only blooms in the summer, but it randomly began blooming again. I'm so thrilled!

I've been temporarily living with my grandmother. I am on a stress leave for a few months from my live-in job. It just became too stressful to be working 24/7 in a pandemic. My boss was very understanding and they offered for me to go on leave. Its been really relaxing so far and I've gotten to spend time with my cat! I'm also still working my other job, which has been helpful for income. My stress leave is unpaid, so I still need money for bills. I also won a $100 Walmart gift card from a draw at work! Plus they handed out $5 Starbucks gift cards, so I got one of those as well. Woohoo!

My birthday is in a week (December 17th). Sadly because of the pandemic, I will not be doing a whole lot. What I have planned is; a bath with a Lush bath bomb, a face mask, painting my nails, getting dressed up, ordering out food (veggie chili & veggie pizza), having french macarons, having cake, opening presents and watching a movie. Luckily I'm staying with a couple family members, so I can celebrate with them as well. Next year I will just have to party twice as hard, haha.

That is all for now! I will blog again next week after my birthday. I hope everyone's holidays are going well despite the pandemic. Stay healthy and safe!

talk to me in poems and songs

♪♫ Let Me Love You Like a Woman - Lana Del Rey

Damn... its been a month and a half since I last wrote a blog! Its been a busy time lately, plus I have been overly stressed from work. I'm going on a stress leave from one of my jobs, which will be very helpful. Its for three months and it starts in a little over a week from now. Anyways, a lot has happened and since I don't feel like writing a super long blog, I'm just going to list it in bullet point form in no particular order...

• I went to visit my family for Thanksgiving. Where I live, we had no covid cases at all during the time of Thanksgiving. We have about 20 cases now though. Anyways, my aunt made a killer pumpkin spice cheesecake, I got to binge watch The Haunting of Bly Manor, and I went for a walk in the woods where I found a ton of cool mushrooms!


• I got two new tattoos; a jack-o-lantern with bats on my leg and purple/pink flowers on my forearm!

• I didn't get to do anything fun for Halloween, sadly. I was supposed to go to a party and I had a cute '20s flapper girl costume, but then I got sick with cold symptoms. I had to get tested for covid, which came back negative, but I still had to isolate for a week until I wasn't sick anymore. I did get to hangout with some friends and watch a few horror movies with treats before Halloween. On the actual day of Halloween, I relaxed in bed with a bowl of candy and had a Halloween (Michael Myers) marathon.

• I got three new houseplants; two succulents and a fern. In order from left to right their names are; Alice, Freida, and Dinah.

• I bought a cute pumpkin mask and got lots of compliments on it. I'm still wearing it, even though Halloween has ended, haha!

• I have been going to thrift stores/antique stores and keeping my eyes out for items to collect for my future house. I found a super cute vintage '70s magazine rack with mushrooms painted on it for $25, so I bought it! I haven't found anything else yet, but I'm hoping to find some vintage dishes.

• I bought Lana Del Rey's new poetry book; Violet Bent Backwards Over The Grass. I've read a few poems so far and I have been enjoying it. Its inspiring me to write poetry again. Its been a while since I wrote anything.

• We had a freak strorm here that left behind a lot of snow, but it was so warmm the next day/it rained, so it went away fairly quickly. I mean, I do live in Canada so we definitely do have a lot of snow in the winter, but not in October!

Aside from all of that, I've been working on my list of Christmas gifts to buy, I applied for a full time job very recently, I've been thinking more about the future house I want to buy/planning it all out, and I have been spending time with my family's cat. I am hoping to blog more frequently, but who knows how busy I'll be! I hope everyone is well! I am going to try and return comments! Also; I updated the "author" section finally!

the sun was setting in the west

♪♫ Farewell to Nova Scotia - Aselin Debison

I'm back! The last while has been really rough and I'm not doing well at all. I'll get to that in a bit, but first I'll talk about what has happened since my last blog, starting with my break up; we are still broken up. There isn't really any news on this, except that I'm feeling better about it, but still grieving the loss. The quarantine is making things a lot harder. I think it will take me a lot longer to get over it...

The day after my last blog, I celebrated Easter with my roommates. They insisted on making the dinner themselves, so I just made the stuffing. It was delicious! I also had a little chocolate bunny for dessert. I do wish that I could have celebrated with family though.


Pretty much everything that I ordered from my last blog has arrived! Everything is perfect, but my favorite thing is the color changing lamp/bluetooth speaker. Its so much fun to watch! Speaking of ordering... I ordered more stuff online since my last blog; a quilt set, flannel sheets, a fleece blanket, two pillows, two Rupi Kaur poetry books, the complete collection of Robert Frost's poetry, a book of poetry by Atticus, The Great War on DVD and an East Coast Strong shirt.


All the proceeds from the shirt go to the families of the victims from the mass shooting that occurred in my home province (Nova Scotia) this past weekend. We never experience violence like this, so it has been really hard on everyone. You may or may not have heard the full story, but the shooter had a replica police car and uniform, which he used to senselessly murder 22 innocent people over the span of 12 hours. He was shot dead by police at the very end. He was headed for where I live when the police caught up to him.

On a happier note; I got some new plants! Most of them are fake, haha. I went to the dollar store for some essential stuff, so I also bought some fake plants and a notebook to cheer myself up. I bought myself a real plant when I went to the grocery store; a cute little cactus that I've named Frank. I also wrote up a daily self care list to help keep me in a routine/keep me healthy. I'm going to update it in a few days to include some more stuff, but I think its been really helpful so far! I hope it makes a difference.


Also here is a recent selfie that I took. I've started doing winged eyeliner again just to make myself feel a little prettier. I definitely need a haircut though (my bangs are long & you can't see the rest of my hair... but its halfway down my back now), haha...


Another happy thing that happened lately; I noticed that Terry O'Quinn, who is one of my favorite actors, got a Cameo account. Cameo is a essentially a site where celebrities will send you a personalized video in exchange for you donating to charity. As soon as I seen it, I knew I had to do it! Terry played John Locke (my favorite character) on my favorite show Lost and I was supposed to go to a Lost con next month in Hawaii. I felt like even though this doesn't fully make up for it, it would be a nice way to have something Lost-themed that would make me feel a little better about missing my trip. He sent me my video today and it made my entire week! Anytime I ever feel sad for the rest of my life, I'm going to watch this video. ♥️


That's all for now. I hope everyone is well! I will try to return comments asap!