its been too long...

♪♫ Dilemma - Green Day

Wow! Its been way too long since I last blogged. Oops! I have had an eventful time since my last post. I'm too lazy to write it out, so I'm going to list it in bullet form (in no particular order):

• I went on a two week trip to see my best friend Kara. She lives near the US border, so we went on a trip to Bangor, Maine for a night. We did Stephen King touring (on our own), since we are both big fans. We also did lots of shopping and ate at Olive Garden (my favorite restaurant ever now). I purchased a lot of stuff at Walmart and Target, haha. Some items include; a Tree Hut body scrub (which I'm obsessed with now), a Goosebumps sweatshirt, a little plush Pennywise doll, a Body Fantasies spray, a jack-o-lantern face shirt, snacks, and more.

• Began planning for a Salem/Boston trip in August 2024. We are driving (only 5.5 hours from where my best friend lives). We are going for four days and have already booked our Airbnb. However... for our last night, we are actually staying the night at Lizzie Borden's house in Fall River. We are both really into paranormal stuff and true crime, so we are super excited!

• Speaking of trips, I went to Ontario in November, and stayed there for four days. It was my first time there, and I really enjoyed it. Also, the trip was almost free because I used an Air Canada voucher (they gave me because of the 24 delay/cancellation when I returned from New York), which covered the cost of the roundtrip flight. I also stayed with a friend, so the accomodation was free. She lives in Hamilton, which is halfway between Toronto and Niagara Falls, so we went to both! We did Toronto the first day, where I saw the CN tower, did some shopping, and wandered around. Then the next day we did Niagara Falls. We stayed at an Airbnb for the night because we had plans to drink. First we stopped at the falls to see them lit up at night, then we went to a bar and got drunk, haha. The next day we drove across to Niagara Falls, NY to eat at Olive Garden. The whole trip was tons of fun!

• I graduated from university. I got my degree with honours and I also made the dean's list, so I am very proud of myself! After my graduation ceremony, I went out for lunch with family to celebrate and I got some gifts; a 10k gold heart locket, a Juicy Couture purse, and Halloween cupcakes. Not pictured are the monetary gifts I recieved.

• I already started another degree at a different university. I am doing a social work degree now. Its online and since I'm doing it part time, it should take about three years to complete.

• I have discovered I have mild lactose intolerance. Since I switched to lactose free products, I am feeling a lot better.

• I have been cooking a lot more and perfecting my skills. I've made stews, soups, gumbo, goulash, and more. Everyone has raved about how good my food is! I ended up buying the cutest crockpot that is the perfect size to make myself a few days' worth of meals.

• I turned 31 in December. I decided to go visit my best friend Kara again. Her birthday is also in December, so we decided to celebrate together. Before I left, I had a dinner with my family and they gave me gifts. I forgot to take pictures of most of the gifts. However, I did get a picture of the gifts my dad gave me; David Lynch's Dynamic:01 on DVD, Sex Pistols on vinyl, and the Criterion version of Lost Highway. He knows me so well!

• When I went to visit my best friend Kara, we did lots of stuff. For celebrating our birthdays, we got an ice cream cake that has our nicknames for each other on it (long story haha), and had a fancy dinner with drinks. We also exchanged gifts. While I was there, we also visited the US multiple times for shopping and eating out (since its so close to her house). I went a little crazy at the US Walmart, haha. I stocked up on a year's worth of Tree Hut scrubs because we don't have them in Canada. The downsides of the trip was a windstorm that knocked the power out for a few days, having food poisoning for two days, and getting a flat tire just before my trip!

• As soon as I returned from my birthday trip, I only had a few days until Christmas, so I got right to work on making a double batch of my family's traditional shortbread cookies. This year's batch was the best so far! I also added a new shape to the cookie cutters: mushroom! Its so cute!

I can't think of much else that is new. I will try to keep up with blogging!

it doesn't go away

♪♫ Little Dark Age - MGMT

Wow... what a crazy four months its been. A month after my last blog, I went on a sick leave from work. A few days after that, my grandmother (who I am very close to) had a stroke. I had a full breakdown and felt like my world was shattered. She was in the hospital for months and we couldn't visit due to covid. Luckily we were able to call her. She has almost completely recovered, which is amazing. They also took out the clot that caused the stroke very quickly. She is home now and I have been able to spend lots of time with her.

As many people know, I live at my work (I'm a live-in support worker). Even though I can visit my grandmother, its just not the same. I miss living with her and seeing her everyday. I have decided I will be leaving my job, however I can't do it right away... my uncle just moved from Alberta and will be staying in the spare room for probably about 6 months. I have to wait for him to move out. I also need to get a part time job. Luckily my work has 3 weekend positions that would be perfect for a student and would give me the amount of money I need to live in! It would either be 2 overnights per weekend (either Friday/Saturday or Sunday/Monday) or 2 day shifts per weekend (Saturday/Sunday). One shift is 8 hours and the other is 12, equaling 40 hours per pay. I already held a part time weekend position at another place in my organization and my boss loved me. I think my chances are good. Wish me luck! I definitely want to be out of this live-in job before next summer.

Speaking of work, I quit my job at the shelter. It was too much stress and my mental health was deteriorating. I'm also starting school in September, so I wouldn't have been able to work there much anyways. However, I will be picking up shifts at the group home, which is where all the part time positions are available. Its a much less stressful environment and it'll allow me to show off my skills for when a position opens up.

I just got back from my sick leave a couple weeks ago and work has been good so far. My break was so helpful for my mental health. I developed a new hobby during my time away from work; thrifting. Specifically for vintage items, especially ones with mushrooms! I can't wait for the day I have my own house and can display all my beautiful items. My home will definitely have a retro/'70s vibe. I can't wait! Here are my favorite finds (from thrift stores, antique stores, the Facebook marketplace and eBay)...

To go along with my vintage theme, I have also purchased a record player! My grandmother gave me her Elvis records, I bought The Doors' self-titled album, and I found some records at the thrift store as well. I can't wait to collect lots more! Next on my list; all the Led Zeppelin albums, Fleetwood Mac's Rumours album, and Lana Del Rey's earlier albums.

I got to visit New Brunswick for almost 2 weeks in July. I drove there all by myself, which I'm super proud of! I stayed with my best friend Kara and we had so much fun. We made fishbowl cocktails, went to a trampoline park, went shopping, went into the city for a night and had drinks, went swimming, watched movies, went mushroom hunting and more! I can't wait to visit her again in hopefully 6 months or so. Speaking of trips, I will be visiting Cape Breton at the end of the month for 4 nights. I'm going to visit family there and I'm driving myself and my dad. I've already told him that we're stopping at thrift stores on the way there and the way back. Can't wait! I hope I score some awesome stuff. I also have a public Instagram now specifically for posting about my thrifting/vintage purchases and my home decor set ups. Follow here!

That is pretty much all for now. I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe during this pandemic!

talk to me in poems and songs

♪♫ Let Me Love You Like a Woman - Lana Del Rey

Damn... its been a month and a half since I last wrote a blog! Its been a busy time lately, plus I have been overly stressed from work. I'm going on a stress leave from one of my jobs, which will be very helpful. Its for three months and it starts in a little over a week from now. Anyways, a lot has happened and since I don't feel like writing a super long blog, I'm just going to list it in bullet point form in no particular order...

• I went to visit my family for Thanksgiving. Where I live, we had no covid cases at all during the time of Thanksgiving. We have about 20 cases now though. Anyways, my aunt made a killer pumpkin spice cheesecake, I got to binge watch The Haunting of Bly Manor, and I went for a walk in the woods where I found a ton of cool mushrooms!


• I got two new tattoos; a jack-o-lantern with bats on my leg and purple/pink flowers on my forearm!

• I didn't get to do anything fun for Halloween, sadly. I was supposed to go to a party and I had a cute '20s flapper girl costume, but then I got sick with cold symptoms. I had to get tested for covid, which came back negative, but I still had to isolate for a week until I wasn't sick anymore. I did get to hangout with some friends and watch a few horror movies with treats before Halloween. On the actual day of Halloween, I relaxed in bed with a bowl of candy and had a Halloween (Michael Myers) marathon.

• I got three new houseplants; two succulents and a fern. In order from left to right their names are; Alice, Freida, and Dinah.

• I bought a cute pumpkin mask and got lots of compliments on it. I'm still wearing it, even though Halloween has ended, haha!

• I have been going to thrift stores/antique stores and keeping my eyes out for items to collect for my future house. I found a super cute vintage '70s magazine rack with mushrooms painted on it for $25, so I bought it! I haven't found anything else yet, but I'm hoping to find some vintage dishes.

• I bought Lana Del Rey's new poetry book; Violet Bent Backwards Over The Grass. I've read a few poems so far and I have been enjoying it. Its inspiring me to write poetry again. Its been a while since I wrote anything.

• We had a freak strorm here that left behind a lot of snow, but it was so warmm the next day/it rained, so it went away fairly quickly. I mean, I do live in Canada so we definitely do have a lot of snow in the winter, but not in October!

Aside from all of that, I've been working on my list of Christmas gifts to buy, I applied for a full time job very recently, I've been thinking more about the future house I want to buy/planning it all out, and I have been spending time with my family's cat. I am hoping to blog more frequently, but who knows how busy I'll be! I hope everyone is well! I am going to try and return comments! Also; I updated the "author" section finally!

that's the real me, babe

♪♫ The Hills - The Weeknd

Its been almost a month since my last blog! So sorry it took me this long to write another one. Basically what happened is; I got the other job! So I had to pack up my stuff and move very quickly (the new job is a live-in support worker for 3 male youth). Doing that took up a lot of my free time. It was exhausting! However, it all worked out well. Even though there were some bumps... like my queen size bed not fitting in the attic, so I had to trade it with a family friend for a double bed. Luckily the double bed is super comfy! Its been a week now though and I feel mostly settled and comfortable.

During this time, I also had a mole removed from my back. I was in a lot of pain for the first 3 days afterwards, so that slowed me down a lot too. It was a bit stressful, so I ended up taking a day off work to relax and feel better. It definitely helped. I also had some meetings and a driving lesson during that time. I'm so glad that I got everything done in time! I even had my house warming present show up in the mail an hour before I began moving out! Its a portable radio/bluetooth speaker. I love it! After moving in, I did a bunch of shopping for stuff that I needed. Both food and random items.


As far as movies go, I've seen two new movies in the theater in the past month; Joker and The Lighthouse. I loved both! I'm definitely going to buy them when they come out on DVD/Blu-ray! I also bought 3 movies recently on DVD; Alice Through the Looking Glass, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. I've already seen the first 2, but I watched Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark for the first time recently. I enjoyed it, but it wasn't exactly what I imagined it would be. However, I'm used to disturbing horror movies, so it takes a lot to scare me.


Right now I'm very sick with a nasty cold. This is my 2nd day calling in sick to work. Luckily my work is flexible about calling in sick. I'm basically staying in bed all day with orange juice, cough drops, kleenex, comfy blankets and Netflix. That is all for now!

imma’ hit the jackpot right

♪♫ Jackpot - Jocelyn Alice

Its been an awful week. Ugh. I felt overworked from my work placement. I hardly had any time off! Plus when I did have time off, I needed to use that time to work on school assignments. I know that when I'm actually working after graduation, I won't have as many shifts. I just have to work a lot because I need 320 hours before the end of the semester and that is hard to do! Also, I got strep throat, which I am still fighting currently. Luckily I got a doctor's note so that I got 5 days off to rest! I also got antibiotics, which hopefully will work fast! Thankfully, my teacher extended my work placement an extra week so that I can make up my missed hours. I really hope I feel better physically and mentally by Tuesday when I return to my work placement! I already feel a lot better, so that's a good sign!

On a more positive note, I got to go see the new Pet Sematary movie this week. It was part of my work placement actually. We took a group of youth to see it (they chose the movie). It was alright in my opinion, but not great. I like the original better. I'm still glad I seen it though. It was on my list of films that I want to see! Speaking of watching things, I also finished watching all the episodes of Lucifer. Its such a good show! I ended up reading Lucifer fan fiction afterwards. That is how much I adored it. I needed more! Luckily season 4 is coming out on May 8th! I got it marked in my calendar. I can't wait! I also have plans to see Avengers: End Game next week with my boyfriend. Fingers crossed that I don't encounter any spoilers before then!

I recently ordered some things online; two collections of Stephen King films on DVD and a David Lynch vinyl figure (as Gordon Cole from Twin Peaks). I couldn't resist! Especially the David Lynch vinyl figure. Its so perfect for me! I also need to go shopping for a graduation dress soon. So far, I haven't seen anything I like. I'm not a fancy/girly kind of person, so I think it will be hard for me to find a dress that I like. Wish me luck!


I have nothing else to say. Right now I'm gonna make a grilled cheese sandwich with caesar salad on the side for lunch and watch something on TV (not sure what yet). I am also going to look for new songs to listen to. Last night I added 36 new songs to my phone (ones that I've heard recently that I really like). If anyone has any music suggestions; let me know! I like rock and metal the most, but I also like some pop, rap, and indie as well. I hope everyone is doing well!

lift me up to the stars

♪♫ Gnosts N Stuff - Deadmau5 ft. Rob Swire

I keep forgetting to blog! So sorry! A lot has happened since I last blogged. I'll start with Valentine's Day; I was unable to spend it with my boyfriend, so I watched That '70s Show and ate Reese cups by myself. It was fun to have my own little celebration! My boyfriend and I got together and celebrated Valentine's Day two days later, when we both had the free time. Sadly, I was very sick with a cold. It was awful. Despite my sickness, we cuddled, watched TV, and ordered Chinese food to celebrate. It wasn't fancy, but I loved it! We also exchanged cheap gifts (we decided to keep it under $5). I bought him a little box of Reese cups (just like the one I got for myself) and he bought me a horror book (he knows me well).


The week after Valentine's Day, I was mostly sick. However, I did manage to have a pretty decent week! I received my mini coffin shelf in the mail from Sourpuss. Its so cute! I'm not sure what to put on it yet, but I'll figure it out at some point. For now, its sitting on the top of my book shelf. Also, I ended up ordering a collector's edition of Wild at Heart on Blu-ray. I've had my eye on it for months, so I finally decided to get it. Last but not least, I finished reading The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson. It was so good! The ending was so well written and creepy as hell. I definitely need to read more of Shirley Jackson's books!


Earlier this week, I met up with my dad for supper at the mall. It was really nice to spend time with him. I hadn't seen him in a couple months. I also went to the book store and bought two books; Magic Tree House #17: Tonight on the Titanic by Mary Pope Osbourne and Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë. It was about $10 altogether for both books. Such a good deal! Even though I had a good time at dinner and the book store, that day was a stressful one. I ended up crying when I got home from all the stress. Sometimes you just need a good cry. I felt a lot better afterwards though!


A few days ago, my cousin got the insurance money from the flood we had in our basement. She couldn't decide how to divide it up, so she ended up splitting the money evenly between the three of us (my grandmother being the other person). So basically, I got $600 that I wasn't expecting! Wooo! I've decided to save most of it, but I did spend about $100 of it so far. I went to visit my boyfriend this weekend and I took him on a date. We went out for lunch at a local restaurant, then we went bowling. At the bowling alley, I won a Pikachu plushie in a claw machine! It was only $1 and I got it on my first try! He also took me to Wal-mart, where I bought three pairs of jeggings (I need them for school). It was a great day!


Today I found a bunch of supplies from a few years ago when I sold Twin Peaks inspired rings on Etsy. I ended up purchasing $30 worth of additional supplies on Ebay and now I have enough supplies to make fifty rings! Minus the money for supplies, I will make a profit of $620! They were my best selling item back in the day when I had an Etsy shop. I sold at least one per day! I just need to sell three rings to cover the supplies, then its all profit after that. Wooo! I can't wait to get back into it! I'm going to use the money I make from them to pay for driving lessons.

That is all for now. Hopefully I will remember to blog again soon!

i look for you in magazines

♪♫ Brite Lites - Lana Del Rey

I have officially moved back home! It feels so good to be back. I'm beyond glad that I'm not in school right now. This break has been good to me so far. A lot of awesome stuff has happened since my last blog. I will start with all my recent purchases! I ordered quite a few things online and bought some things in store; a Jughead Jones Funko Pop Figure, Twin Peaks: A Limited Event Series on Blu-ray, Hotel Room on VHS, Blade Runner 2049 on Blu-ray, The Art Life on Blu-ray, cat earrings, Little Life Box and two Urth Boxes.. I will post pictures below of the items that I got in person or have arrived from online.


There was a major scare with my cat a few days before Easter weekend. My dad left an Easter Lily out and my cat ate it. She immediately began throwing up and my dad called poison control, who told him that Easter Lilies are poisonous to cats. He took her to the animal hospital right after that and they kept her for a few days. Luckily she threw most of it up and the vet says her kidneys are fine! She is completely fine now. My dad had to go away for Easter weekend, so I spent the entire weekend with the cat. I gave her lots of attention and yummy food. She purred a lot and seemed quite happy. I'm so glad! It sucks that I didn't get to celebrate Easter, but I did get a big bag of mini eggs! Yay!


I've started up my diet again. Last time I lost 60lbs, but gained back 20lbs. Now I'm planning to lose 70lbs! Last time, I was eating 1250 calories a day to achieve my goal. This time, I am going with 1550, because I am more active and I'd like to lose the weight slower to avoid excess loose skin. So far, its going great. Its been exactly a week and I've already lost 2lbs. I will be on this diet until the late fall, most likely. Wish me luck! Here is an example of what I'd eat in a day...


I spent this past weekend with my boyfriend. He lives an hour away now, so we are taking turns visiting each other every weekend. This upcoming weekend, its his turn! Anyways, it was an amazing weekend. I'm so thrilled that I got to spend time with him! Also, I got some cute pictures of my boyfriend and I from a couple weeks ago that I forgot to post...


Other than that, the only other new thing is that I'm going to be going back to a much more vegan diet. I have been eating too much dairy, which doesn't agree with me. I'm going to stick to one serving a day for now to see how that goes. I still love my cream cheese, sour cream and ice cream! I'm hoping it goes well. I'm quite excited to try new vegan recipes!

I'll make it to the moon if I have to crawl

♪♫ Scar Tissue - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Once again, its been a while. Life in college is chaotic and time consuming. I'm not sure where to start... I got grad photos done! I just have to order them now. Speaking of school... things are going well. We don't have many assignments now that we are close to the end. My internship starts in a month and I've been accepted to the youth shelter once again! I hope they hire me once my internship is done! Its kinda surreal that I'm going to be graduating in a few months. I never thought I would make it. I feel so accomplished!

My boyfriend and I celebrated Valentines this past weekend. Due to being busy and me having a rough patch with anxiety, we weren't able to find the time. Over a week ago, when we originally planned to have Valentines day, I had a massive panic attack and took some anger out on him via text. That caused a few days of upset for both of us. I have never behaved that way towards him before, so it was a shock to him. I explained that people don't think rationally during panic attacks and that I would warn him next time, so that I could deal with it on my own and he wouldn't be impacted by it. Its not fair for him to have to deal with that.

Anyways, for the celebration we had this past weekend, the first thing we did was exchange gifts. I gave him a card that said "I love you a waffle lot" with a picture of a waffle on it and a heart shaped box of mini Reese cups. Waffles are an inside joke for us. He gave me a poem he wrote on a piece of paper that he decorated with hearts and glitter, a heart shaped box of Turtles and a used 3DS with Mario Kart 7. I was so stunned. I nearly cried. I have never gotten such amazing gifts from a boyfriend before. Especially the poem. That is my favorite gift of all! He is so amazing. I feel so lucky!


After that, I made him dinner (pasta with tomato sauce, caesar salad & garlic bread), we watched Predator 3 and played some video games. Sadly I began feeling sick that night and barely slept. I believe that was the beginning of the strep throat that I'm currently dealing with. I had to go to the hospital yesterday. Ugh. Thankfully I got medication and a note for school, so I'm recovering now. Yay! Sadly, I have to go to school tomorrow. Blah. Anyways, back on topic... it was lovely! I really enjoyed it. It kinda felt like I was falling in love with him all over again and I could tell he was more affectionate than usual. I think that is the beautiful thing about love. You don't just fall in love with someone once. You continue to fall in love with them over and over again.

I move back home in a month, so we will have to have a long distance relationship for probably a couple years. However, we are only an hour away from each other, so we can visit each other at least three times a month. I think it will be fine. I will miss him a lot, but I know that one day we will live together and it will have been worth the wait. Its crazy to think about how much my life has changed. I was a homeless high school dropout with a drinking problem and criminal friends. Now I'm a sober college student that has an amazingly supportive boyfriend. I'm so happy!

That is it for now!

caught up in my dreams and forgetting

♪♫ White Mustang - Lana Del Rey

I'm finally writing another blog! Yay! So... the past week has been somewhat eventful. First of all, I have spent a lot of time with my boyfriend. Things just seem to get better and better every time we are together. Things have... uh... already gotten quite intimate. I won't go into much detail, but its the best I have ever had. It was mind blowing. Sadly he is currently sick with a cold. I went to his place last night and made him dinner while he relaxed. Poor thing... I hope he feels better soon! Also... I won't be able to see him for five days due to his work schedule and the fact that I'm going away for a few days. Ugh. It sucks. At least we can talk via text though. ♥

I have also been sick lately. I have had breathing problems for a couple weeks now (they began not long after I quit smoking) and they got really bad in the past few days. My boyfriend forced me to go to the hospital and the doctor there prescribed a puffer for me to help my lungs open up. After that, my boyfriend insisted that I stay the night at his place so that he could keep an eye on me and I agreed. I also stayed with him for the whole next day. He was very concerned. It was so sweet! ♥

I'm doing well with school work, so I'm not too worried about being behind on it. I actually got ahead a bit at the beginning of the week, so that has allowed me to spend two days not doing any school work and just resting to feel better. I'm hoping I will feel up to going to school tomorrow. In the evening, my class is going to a pub in the city to meet a famous child and youth care worker and two other lesser known ones. I recently read a book by the famous one and I'm going to get him to sign it! Also, since its in the city, I'm just gonna go home for the weekend. I can't wait to see my family, my cat, and my bedroom!

I'm not going to school today, so I'm just going to relax in bed. I'm hoping to get some school work done. It may be a bit difficult due to not having my textbooks at home, but I'm sure I can get some stuff completed. Anyways, that's all for now!

i've battled demons that won't let me sleep

♪♫ Never Give Up - Sia

Wow... I forgot to write a blog all summer! Well... a lot happened since my last blog. The end of my school year was absolutely awful. I don't even want to talk about it, but I felt really angry and upset for a few weeks. At least I passed the semester though! I'm so glad that the crazy shit happened right before summer, because I really needed to be away from school for a while.

I began my summer job in June. I basically was in charge of the local youth centre. I had an amazing time there, learned a hell of a lot, had a lot of intense experiences and gained tons of confidence. I also met some awesome people... one of which I am dating now. Hes a wonderful guy that volunteered at my work. I'm not giving names or anything, so I'm just gonna call him J. We started dating last week, but the "seeing each other" part went on for a few weeks before that. I initially tried to bury my feelings, but they came out anyways, haha! Anyways, we have a ton of fun together and he is super sweet... he brought me a rose a couple weeks ago. ♥

I also got my hair cut and dyed (blonde & dark brown streaks), got glasses for reading, bought a ton of new clothes, Blu-rays and DVDs with the money I made from my job, stayed with my best friend Kara for a week right before school started again, visited my old city for a night, went to my grandfather's funeral, got a therapist and got prescribed anti-depressants, went camping in PEI for a few days with some of my college friends, went to a drive in for the first time to see the new IT movie, and more that I can't think of right now. It was a roller coaster, but I definitely enjoyed it for the most part.

So far this school year hasn't been too bad. My class has a lot of drama, but I keep away from it, so it doesn't bother me much. The work load is lighter than last year so far, which is nice. We have a lot of self directed classes, which gives us a lot of time to get our work done. Also, I got an interview for the youth shelter that I want to go to! Its for my January placement. If it goes well, I may be able to go there for my internship and then get hired! I'm super nervous. Wish me luck! Oh and myself and a few classmates are running our own program for youth at the local library. It hasn't started yet because we are still planning, but I'm hoping it goes well!

Today I'm pretty sick, so I'm taking it easy. I did get some school work done and some housework too. Now I'm just laying in bed... probably going to watch some Netflix after this. So I guess that's all for now!

the fire that burns the soul

♪♫ Feuer Frei! - Rammstein


It's hard to believe that it's been six years since you passed away. Rest in peace, Nick. ♥
Today is a depressing day, for obvious reasons. On top of that, I'm also feeling quite sick. I hope I'm not getting the flu... especially because school starts tomorrow! I'm a bit nervous, but mostly excited. No matter what happens, I'm gonna stay strong, mostly due to Nick. He never had the chance to make it to college, sadly. He will be with me at the beginning of school for the next two years to give me that reminder to push forward. And I will always miss him to pieces. ♥

i kick that ceiling

♪♫ Just Like Fire - P!nk

Its been too long since I last wrote a blog. I've been both busy and somewhat sick (allergies). But I've got some free time now and I'm feeling much better! First of all, I went to Brownie camp a week or so ago. I was basically a camp counselor for anyone who doesn't know what Brownies is. It was a fun time, except for the wicked sunburn that I got from being outside for a few hours without sunscreen. It has pretty much completely gone away now though. Also, we had our last Brownie meeting (until the fall) last Thursday. We had a dance party with some treats, then a little award ceremony. It was sorta sad to say goodbye, but I will see most of them again next year (if I decide to go back). Also, I got some gifts from parents as a thank you for volunteering, which included homemade wine, and flowers!


I haven't gotten out much lately, but I did go out last week for a shopping day. I rarely ever treat myself, so I bought myself a cute tote bag (with a Lord of the Rings quote), which was on sale for $8! I also bought a few other necessities, and got both my lunch and dinner from the Heartwood, which is a lovely vegetarian/vegan restaurant. I did quite a bit of walking as well. It was a great day!


So as I mentioned in my last blog, I've recently became a vegan. I've been looking through all a of the products that I use to determine whether its vegan or not. About 1/3 is vegan by accident, but the rest isn't. I'm going to use the other 2/3 until it runs out, because I don't want to waste... but I will be purchasing the vegan alternative next time. I managed to find a lot of things that are the same price or even cheaper than the non-vegan versions that I've been using, so I'm pretty thrilled! The only thing that is more expensive is shampoo and conditioner, but I'm saving so much money from everything else, so it evens out. Anyways, I came across two things in my research for vegan alternatives that really intrigued me; menstrual cups and reusable cloth pads. Apparently a lot of vegan women use them because they're much more environmentally friendly and cheaper in the long run! Also, I found out that a lot of major tampon companies test their products on animals (I don't even wanna know how), which is disturbing...

Anyways, I decided to purchase one of them, but I couldn't decide at first. Eventually I decided on cloth pads, just because of the few horror stories that I read about menstrual cups. I did some searching on what the best brand was and that led me to LunaPads, which had amazing reviews. Even bigger women with heavy periods said that the pads were great! That was basically my number one concern, because I've always had heavy periods. So yeah... I purchased their Deluxe Heavy Flow Kit (which has enough pads + inserts for an entire period), along with some stain remover. It was $180 all together (that includes an extra $30 for the organic cotton), which is quite expensive... but they last at least five years according to reviews on various sites, so its much cheaper in the long run! I got them in the mail last week and they look fantastic! I just have to wait a week or so to try them out!


Other than all of that, the only other interesting things that have happened are; I passed my transcript into the college to complete my application for the child and youth care course, I've got a pretty nice collection of vegan recipes that I will be making in the next six months or so, and I've gotten caught up on Orange Is the New Black + Scream: The TV Series. I'm hoping something more exciting happens in the next couple of weeks...

it's better to never ask why

♪♫ Try - P!nk

I've had a few interesting things happen since I last blogged. I'll start with the most exciting one; I passed the GED math test, which means... I got my GED! I'm so happy and proud of myself! But ugh... I had really bad anxiety about it for a few weeks beforehand. I've never been good at math, so I really doubted my ability to do it, even though I studied like crazy. I'm so relieved now. I never have to worry about it again!

I celebrated by having dinner with my cousin and grandmother, and then having some wine with the women that I volunteer with. I also received some cards and money from family, and my grandmother is going to give me her ring (once it gets sized)! Plus I finally got to open the cheap tablet that I bought for myself a few weeks ago. I'm actually writing this blog on it right now. I'm really liking it so far!




On a completely unrelated topic; I started keto last week. It's basically a very low carb (less than 50 grams), high fat, and moderate protein diet. Anyways, I knew that I would get the "low carb flu", so I took the proper supplements and drank lots of water. However... it didn't help. I just kept getting more and more sick. Eventually, on the fifth day, I threw up a few times and felt my heart beating hard. It scared the hell out of me, so I quit...

To make a long story short, I still felt sick two days after quitting, so I went to the hospital. I ended up having low phosphorus (the only thing that I wasn't supplementing), so they gave me supplements to take over a twenty-four hour period. I'm feeling a ton better now! However, I was hooked up an EKG and the hospital, and whenever I felt my heart beating hard... it didn't show up. Also, the nurse said that I had the heart of an athlete. So... I don't have an explanation for that. Maybe it was a muscle spasm? I don't know.

So... I won't be doing a keto diet again for a long time. I suppose there was no real need for me to do it anyways. My old diet was working fine for weight loss (55 lbs down!), so I'm back to that. However, I'm gonna aim for 100 - 150 grams of carbs a day from now on, which is still considered low. I was eating around 200 grams before, so its not too big of a change. I've actually been doing it for a few days now. Its going really well. It feels like my diet is much more balanced now.

And last, but not least; I changed the layout and updated a bunch of stuff! It took forever, but I'm quite happy with how it turned out! Let me know what you think of the new changes! But yeah... I'm pretty tired right now, so I'm gonna watch Charmed until I fall asleep. Bye for now!