i'll be on the way

♪♫ Montero (Call Me By Your Name) - Lil Nas X

Its been over a month since I last blogged. I've been struggling with winter depression, so I haven't felt up to writing anything. I moved back into my house (aka my workplace). Sadly, my client/youth was removed from the program for inappropriate behavior towards me. It was honestly scary and I think it contributed to the depression I was already experiencing. Since then I've been alone in the house, just waiting for more clients/youth to be moved in. I've been cleaning everything super well to prepare, but also doing a lot for myself...

I bought myself a makeup vanity, which is super cute! I really needed a place for all my makeup/hair products, so its been really useful. The sink in my room was removed and the guy who did it also made me an extra shelf for my plants! He was so nice! He also added in a storage bench in front of my window. I went to the dollar store and bought a blanket and some cushions to make it look fancier, haha. I also bought two more plants; a succulent named Gus and a venus flytrap named Scully! Oh and I no longer have blue in my hair. I've dyed it pink instead!

Speaking of plants, I also got a cute rearview mirror decoration for my car; a fake succulent in a little terracotta pot in a macrame hanger. Its so cute! I'm trying to obtain all the plant decorations to give off the vibes that I'm actually a fairy that lives inside a mushroom house in a field of wildflowers, haha. Speaking of that... as you can see, I also updated my blog theme! I'm currently obsessed with mushrooms, so I thought it would be the perfect blog theme!

This past weekend, we held a cute little tea party at work! It was my idea and my coworker got excited about the idea, so we made it happen! We even wore cute little flowery outfits for the ocassion. She had tons of vintage tea cups/tea pots that she brought from home and together we put the food together (sandwiches & sweets). It was so cute! She brought this peach flavored tea, which was amazing. I went out and bought a box of it afterwards!

This summer I have plans to make a terrarium. If the first one goes well, I'm making tons more! This will also require me to spend lots of time in the forest, which I love. I'm so excited! I'm hoping to make a spooky themed one and a fairy garden themed one. It all depends on how things go. I hope it turns out! Here are some inspirational photos of terrariums that I found online...

That is all for now! I am hoping to keep up more with blogging... we will see how that goes, haha!

dedicated to nick...

♪♫ WAP - Cardi B Ft. Megan Thee Stallion

I've been meaning to write this blog for over a week, but I got super busy. First of all; my vacation was amazing! I went to Cape Breton to see the Cabot Trail with a friend. We stayed in a cute little cottage out in the country, which had a fire pit, so obviously we made tons of smores and roasted hot dogs/veggie dogs! We also drove around to look at scenery, ate at a few different restaurants, did a little shopping, seen some tourist attractions, drank alcohol, listened to awesome tunes, and more. The only bad part of the trip was when we went into a market and we were treated like garbage because I was wearing my Black Lives Matter shirt. People are awful sometimes! Also, before you go on about being a pandemic, my province has 6 active cases and we are being encouraged to travel within the Atlantic provinces, all of which have barely any Covid-19 cases.


Another amazing thing about the trip; I discovered how to use my camera to take professional photography level photos! I wanted to get a picture of the stars because there is minimal light pollution in the country, but I couldn't figure out how to. I ended up Googling it and adjusted the settings on my phone camera (which I bought specifically because its considered one of the best phone cameras for photography). It worked! I took an amazing photo of the night sky, then I took an additional photo of the cottage with the sky in the background. I also got a pretty picture of blue hydrangeas that I spotted in the daylight!



I've been really busy working lately, but I have still gotten to hangout with a friends a bit on a few different occassions. It feels so nice to socialize more. Work has been a drama fest lately. Something awful was emailed to everyone and now the tension is really high. It sucks, but I'm hoping it'll die down and we can all go back to normal. I'm sick of it all. But taking care of myself outside of work has been really helpful. Like I said, I've been socializing more, I have an appointment to get my eyelash extensions re-filled, I have an appointment for another tattoo in a few weeks, I just freshy re-dyed the blue underneath my hair, I ordered myself a tripod for my phone to take more professional photos, I got new clothes (including a really sexy witchy bodysuit), and I've been focused on my goals. I am also going away for a week on the 16th to visit my best friend in New Brunswick. Life is good!

One more thing before I go; its been 10 years since my friend Nick passed away. To Nick; You're not forgotten. Everytime I play a song by Rammstein or watch a cheesy B movie, I think of you. Random things still remind me of memories of you, like McDonald's fries and Super Nintendo. I cherish all those times we hung out together. Rest in peace Nick. 🖤🤘

That is all for now. I hope everyone is well!

i just find my way back in

♪♫ Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Rey

The past week has been a very rough/exciting one. I feel like I'm going through some sort of major life change and I'm not entirely sure what brought it on so suddenly. I knew after my break up back in March that I wanted to do all the things I was unable to do in that relationship. He wasn't controlling or anything, but I let people's opinions really affect me, which I shouldn't. He hated dyed hair, makeup, tattoos, etc. Those are all things that I've always loved, so I kinda wasn't myself when I was with him. Now I'm doing all the things I want to do!

I had two major things planned for this past week; eyelash extensions and a tattoo. Maybe that is what brought on the sudden change I felt. It feels good, because I feel like myself... but it also feels strange, because I was stuck for so long as someone else's version of me. It feels kinda surreal that I'm out of that now and I'm free to do what I want. I still have plans to do more to get back to myself, which is exciting.


Here are my new eyelash extensions! I can never go back to my regular eyelashes now. I have zero eye makeup on in this picture, but it looks like I do. Effortlessly looking good everyday now!

She went a little thick on the letter "c" so I'm having her thicken up the other letters to match up. The rest of it looks amazing, especially the key. I'm so thrilled! If you don't understand what it is; its from the movie Mulholland Drive by David Lynch and it has a very personal meaning to me.
I already have another tattoo booked for the end of September! I'm getting a big blue rose on my right arm. I already have a plan for that entire arm, which I hope to finish in the next 12 months (ideally I'd like to get one tattoo per month). After the blue rose, I'm getting a neotraditional style sun on my lower arm, a neotraditional style moon on my upper arm, tons of colorful flowers/succulents/cacti going all up and around my arm, and some song lyrics randomly intertwined. On my left arm, because I already have one David Lynch themed tattoo, I'm going to be getting a few more on there as well. Aside from that, I'm unsure what else to put on that arm, but I have lots of time to decide! I also have other tattoos I want to get, but I'm focusing on my right arm for now.

I've also ordered some new clothes! I want to order more, but I'm holding off for now. Other things I really want to get done are; a crow's feet piercing and an industrial ear piercing. I know it all seems like a lot, but these are things I wanted to get done for several years. What stopped me for a long time was money, then it was a shitty relationship. I'm finally following through with my dreams! So exciting!

Later today I'm going to a BBQ with coworkers, where we will have drinks and delicious food. After that, I'm staying the night with my friend/coworker and tomorrow we are headed off on our road trip to the cottage we are spending three days at. We will be hiking, drinking, playing games, roasting marshmallows/veggie dogs, and more. So thrilled to get away from the city for a bit! I hope everyone is well!

i'm waking up to ash & dust

♪♫ Radioactive - Imagine Dragons

Hey! How is everyone? I feel like its been a while... again. Trying to keep up with regular blogging can be a struggle. I wish I could blog every few days like I used to! Anyways, I've been busy doing lots of fun stuff since my last blog. I went with my family to a place called Fisherman's Cove here in Nova Scotia. My family usually goes at least a few times during the summer. Its right outside of town, so its not too hard to get to. We had ice cream, looked around in the little shops, then walked along the boardwalk. My family also had a BBQ, which was great. I got to go for some nice walks, including one to the public gardens, where I seen their cacti collection. Also, I went out drinking with coworkers and it was a ton of fun! I definitely needed it. I want to do it again in September, but this time I think we'll have a house party instead of going to bars, because its much cheaper.

I also touched up the blue in my hair! I didn't dilute the blue dye as much as I did last time, so it seems to be rubbing off on everything now. I washed it twice in the 24 hours after dyeing it, but its still rubbing off on everything! Ugh! I have to lay a towel down over my pillow at night just to prevent my hair from staining it. I'm hoping a few more washes and it will stop getting on everything. I'm also thinking that in a few months, I may switch the color to purple or maybe a forest green.


I have been obsessed with iced coffee lately. A couple weeks ago, I ordered a meal from McDonald's via UberEats and they messed up my order, so I ended up getting someone's coffee. They let my keep the meal for free, so I just placed the coffee in the fridge and brought it to work that night, where I added ice cubes to it. It was amazing! I remember drinking a lot of iced coffee last summer, but I guess I had forgotten how good it is. Anyways, I wanted to make a bit of a healthier version, so I came up with my own recipe and oh my fuck is it ever good! Its 1 + 1/3 cups of hot water (or 350 ml), 2 tsps of instant coffee, 2 packets of stevia, almost a quarter cup (or 50 ml) of Silk Almond For Coffee (Hazelnut flavor). Then I just let it cool, place it in the fridge and add 3 small ice cubes when I'm ready to have it! My version is only about 90 calories (most coffees are over 200 calories). My version is also dairy free and vegan!


I've made some purchases lately; 3 DVDs and 1 VHS tape from a local thrift shop, a string of faux blue roses, a '70s coffee table book about cacti, magnetic eyelashes and a new eye mask for sleep. I'm really excited for the magnetic eyelashes. I've always been self conscience of my eyelashes and wanted bigger/darker ones. I considered getting eyelash extensions, but I figured that I'd try out magnetic eyelashes first to see if it looks good on me. Plus its 1/3 of the price of eyelash extensions. I can't wait to try them!


The only other two things are; I have a tattoo appointment in a couple weeks and I got air conditioning in my house now! I don't remember if I discussed the tattoo or not, but its going to be a David Lynch themed tattoo and I'm very excited! I will be getting many more tattoos, its all a matter of time and deciding what I want. I think I'll get my next one close to my birthday in December. Anyways, I'm going to relax for the rest of the day. I recently got into The Umbrella Academy, so I'm going to finish watching season 2, then maybe watch a horror movie. I hope everyone is well!

the way you smile that does it for me

♪♫ Sweet - Cigarettes After Sex

I'm back! I've decided to go down to part time hours at work for the rest of the summer, so I should be able to blog more! The reason for this decision is because I'm feeling really exhausted by work. I need a break. Working part time will give me 9 days between the 5 days that I work. Which is a total of at least 18 days off per month basically. I'm able to do this because my actual position is a part time position, I have just been taking extra shifts since I began working there. I simply told my boss I won't be requesting extra shifts until September and she was very understanding.

Its been 5 days since I was at work and I have 4 more days off to enjoy. I spent a couple of those days at my grandmother's house to spend time with her. I also got a haircut and I dyed half my hair blue! I am slowly going back to the old me, the true me, and I feel so great about it! I really lost myself for a long while, but dyeing my hair made a big difference! I also got lots of new clothes! I bought some at the mall and the ones from Shein arrived (sending a few items back though because I didn't like them). I'm going to start wearing my glasses more often... which I should be doing because I get headaches when I read without them. Also, I am booking a tattoo appointment! Currently discussing with the artist what I want to have done; the word "silencio" with a blue key underneath (from the movie Mulholland Drive).

Speaking of shopping... I've done a lot more shopping lately, haha. First of all; my turquoise night stand came in and I put it together. Its super cute and I love it! I have also pre-ordered Lana Del Rey's upcoming poetry/photography book called Violet Bent Backwards Over The Grass which comes out at the end of September. Other things I have recently bought (aside from the clothing mentioned earlier) are; a pansexual pride flag, House of the Devil on DVD, coasters, tacs (to put more decorations up on my walls), and a velvet hairband.

I leave for my mini cottage vacation on Monday and I'm super excited! I bought all the food today and I have books, a face mask and a shower bomb from Lush all ready to go as well! Aside from that, I'm really unsure what I want to do when I'm there. I'm thinking I should go on a few walks because its close to a lake and maybe watch some movies too. Its going to be so nice to get away from this house. I need a little break... actually I need a long one, but I'm waiting for the pandemic to end to do that... and hopefully it'll take place in Hawaii, haha. I still have my Hawaii money waiting for when I'm able to go!

I hope everyone is well. Depending on where you live, the pandemic may or may not be severe. Where I live, there are only a couple active cases. A lot of restrictions have been lifted, allowing everyone to enjoy the summer! If you're in a place where its not going well, I hope things improve quickly and you are able to enjoy at least a little bit of the summer. I wish good health for everyone as well!

all the lights are sparkling for you

♪♫ Salvatore - Lana Del Rey

I've been super busy since I last blogged... I've mostly been busy with work, but also with running tons of errands, including going through a car wash for the first time (which was fun haha)! I also ended up buying a bunch of decorations for my bedroom and two new plants (I've named them Luna and Soleil). I re-arranged and decorated my bedroom to cheer myself up and it worked! Definitely loving the new look! All I have left to do is re-pot two of my plants and put together my new nightstand.

Speaking of things I bought... The Last of Us Part II arrived and I've been playing it. So far I've had a mixture of feelings about it. I'm mostly enjoying it, but part of the story has been upsetting. Hopefully it improves as the story goes on. Anyways, I also bought other things; a big order of clothes from Shein (plus a moon wall hanging decoration). I really needed new clothes and I got a bunch for only about $160. Not too bad! I hope they all fit. I measured myself and matched it up with the measurements for the sizes on each item, so I hope that was accurate.

My work has offered to pay for me to have two nights away again! This time, I decided to check out Airbnb and see what was available because I really didn't want to stay in a hotel again. I ended up finding a tiny little cottage out in the country by a lake and it was less than $200 including all taxes and fees for two nights! My work told me that my limit was $200 before taxes and fees, so it worked out perfectly! I booked it for two weeks from now and I've been making plans for what I'm going to do when I'm there. Definitely going to take advantage of sitting by the lake and enjoy the sunrise and sunset!

I have a week off from work starting on July 7th. I'm so excited! I'm planning on getting my hair cut that week, plus I'm going to dye it blue underneath myself (I've done it before so I'm confident it will turn out - plus I watch a lot of Brad Mondo videos haha). In late July, I'm going to start planning out my tattoo. I want to get a tattoo that will be inspired by the movie Mulholland Drive. I have a few ideas so far, but I need to spend more time thinking about it. I'm feeling so much better now that I'm being myself again!

I also have noticed that I've gained some weight lately. I suppose its hard not to when it comes to being quarantined. I am planning on going back to eating healthier. I bought a bunch of healthy food last night I'm planning out my meals today for the next week. Wish me luck! Thats all for now. I'm going to have dinner with my family in a few hours. I hope everyone is well!

so we burst into colors

♪♫ Starry Eyed - Ellie Goulding

For the most part, I have worked a ton since I wrote my last blog. I had seven days straight of working, plus some other days that were spread apart a bit. It was exhausting! However, I purposely didn't take any shifts for the past three days, so that I could relax and spend time with family. Its been so lovely! First thing exciting that happened... I bought my plane ticket for Hawaii! It was cheaper than I expected, which is great. I know I keep saying this; but I'm so excited! Also, on an unrelated note, I ordered myself a tiny cinema light box to put on my shelf. Its also for my future movie room!


On Friday, I had a doctor's appointment early in the morning, then I went for groceries. Then it was beach time! I went with my grandmother and uncle. We didn't go swimming, we just wandered around and enjoyed the beautiful scenery. I love living in Nova Scotia! Afterwards, we went to a local tea room for lunch... only to find out that its no longer there and its now a new cafe. I still got to have a scone though, which is what I wanted anyways. It was actually the best scone I've ever had! I'll definitely go back there sometime in the future!


In the evening, I made my Mexican inspired dip for the family BBQ we had planned for the next day. Its a layer of whipped cream cheese, a layer of mild salsa, a layer of veggie ground round (Mexican style), and a layer of cheddar cheese. Its served with tortilla chips and its absolutely delicious! I was pretty tired at that point, but my uncle invited my grandmother and I to go visit an old historical army site and a place called The Dingle, which has a historical tower and a beach. So we went! We also got ice cream on the way back home!


Yesterday I went and got my haircut first thing in the morning. It was long overdue! I also spent some time wandering around the mall, and I ended up buying a cactus themed lanyard for my bus pass. Its super cute! I also got some hair gel and some makeup, plus a vegetarian poutine for lunch. When I was about the leave the mall, my cousin texted me and told me that our power went out because some idiot down the road decided to cut a tree down and it hit the power line. Ugh! Luckily the power was back by the time I got home though!


In the afternoon, we had our family BBQ. It was nice to see everyone and enjoy some delicious food! My boyfriend was also there, which was his first time at one of my family's BBQs. He got to meet some family members that he hadn't met yet. After the BBQ, my boyfriend and I went to the mall, then went for a drive before he headed home. Finally, I ended my night by going to see fireworks with my grandmother and uncle. It was so magical! It had been a long time since I went to see fireworks!


Also, I forgot to mention this in my last blog; I'm now sponsoring a guide dog! Its only $15 a month, which is affordable for me. Plus they send me pictures and information on the progress on my dog over time. I got my first picture and bit of information recently; my pupper's name is Piper and he is the cutest 10/10 good boy golden retriever. I wish I could meet him!


Now I'm going to enjoy my last day off work by binge watching Netflix and eating yummy food. I hope everyone is well!