today is where your book begins

♪♫ Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

I can't believe that I'm writing another blog so soon! My motivation is definitely back! I'm sooo happy! Yesterday was an unexpectedly good day. Matt went job searching, I did a lot of writing, then I just felt really bored for a while. I was thinking of things to do, then I remembered seeing a poster at Starbucks for a play; Alice Through The Looking Glass. I looked it up online and it turns out that the theatre isn't far from where I live, the tickets were only $15 and it wasn't sold out! So I asked Matt's mum if I could borrow the money, and thankfully she agreed. I was so excited! :D

I actually had to wait a few hours until she got off work. So while I waited, I decided to download a bunch of movies. Ones I have never seen before and ones that I wanna re-watch. Mostly kid's movies from the '80s - '90s (Hook, Labyrinth, The Pagemaster & more!). I won't have the time to watch them until next weekend though. I'm thinking a big marathon with lots of munchies and a big fleece blanket? Yeah...that sounds perfect. ^_^

So anyways, Matt's mum drove straight from work to pick me up. It took us a little bit to actually find the theatre. But we did find it...obviously. I was thinking it would take a minute to buy a ticket and leave. But I seriously couldn't find anyone for ten minutes. I searched the entire building. It was eerie. When I finally made my way back to the front door, the play director came out of nowhere. So I finally got to buy the ticket! On an unrelated note; I also got a text message from BJ. He wanted me to come chill with him and Missy. He picked a pretty good time to ask, since Matt's mum was willing to drive me. Because if had been home, I would have said no. I hate walking, LOL. xD


Chilling with BJ and Missy was awesome. We walked around. Both outside and inside. Had hilarious and weird conversations. Matt joined us when he was done job searching. Then we all went to Jungle Jim's, which was an amazing time. We didn't have a whole lot money, so we all shared The Kitchen Sink (basically a pile of random food - enough to feed a family), which is only $25. We all had water to drink, except for BJ. He decided to get The Hurricane. Which is giant liquor filled drink that will surely get any person at least buzzed, LOL. And we took a bunch of silly pictures (mainly making fun of people on Instagram). We forgot to take one of BJ though. Oops, haha. :P



We went to a bar afterwards. But everyone was broke. So we just watched BJ get drunk and play the slot machines, haha. I didn't mind though. However...I wasn't a fan of going outside every ten minutes (BJ & Missy are smokers). It was really cold. Ugh. But y'know what? The best part of the entire day was just the fact I got out of the house. I'm so proud of myself! My Agoraphobia and depression are fading away! :3

Today started out a little bit stressful. Matt and I had a small fight. I don't really wanna go into detail though. So anyways, I got all dressed up, did my makeup and attempted to make my hair look fancy (not sure if I did though?). Then Matt walked me to the theatre for Alice Through The Looking Glass! The play was awesome. I wasn't sure what to expect to be honest. But the kids were so great! Especially the girl who played Alice! Not only did I get a good seat with a good view, I also got some great pictures! I need to go to plays more often. They're so magical. ^_^


I ran into Matt on my way home. He bought me chilli for dinner. Then I found flowers on the bed when I got home, and he gave me a back rub! He told me that he had walked around outside the entire time I was at the theatre. Doing what? Picking flowers to give me! Awww. Too cute! Best boyfriend ever? Fuck yeah! Oh, plus he apologized for the fight we had. Which was his fault. But I understand why he was upset, so we're working on it. ♥ ♥ ♥


Since then, I've pretty much just been spending time with Matt. Its going quite lovely! Right now he is making pizza for us. Then I'm gonna pick out a movie for us to watch. Depending on how full we are after the pizza, I may make popcorn too. I'm not sure yet. But I do know that we'll have a good night no matter what we do. ;D ♥

there's only one more sleep 'til christmas

♪♫ One More Sleep 'Til Christmas - The Muppets

I haven't slept in two days and I'm gonna pass out pretty soon. But first I'm gonna write a blog quickly. Yesterday was quite the busy day for me. I made shortbread cookies in the shape of Christmas trees, plus I decorated them. I really love baking! I also ordered more things online. I could barely afford the items, but I couldn't resist buying them. They practically begged me to buy them, LOL. Good thing I don't have internet back at home. I'd have no money whatsoever, LOL. But yeah...I'm pretty pumped about the stuff I purchased. ^_^



I got absolutely no sleep last night. I kept tossing and turning. It was brutal. Ugh. So I've been awake for over 24 hours now. And I'm still not really tired. What the hell!? Anyways...I had breakfast for the first time in a long time. Kinda weird. And Doctor Who: Legacy has a Christmas theme right now. I'm loving it! It kinda took up most of my morning to be honest. Not that I'm complaining. xD


I showered and got dressed up in the afternoon. With red and green colours, of course. I was feeling festive, LOL. I even painted my nails with red and green nail polish. After that was my favorite part of the past couple days; watching A Colbert Christmas and drinking egg nog + rum. Its a Christmas eve tradition that I started when I was around 17. I think I may have missed a year, but for the most part I've done it every year. :3


After that, I made some supper and relaxed. Oh and I got to open a couple cards. I got scratch tickets, money and an angel necklace. Wooo! And I won $14 from the scratch tickets. Not too bad. But I'm feeling kinda tired now. I think I'm gonna try to go to sleep. I'll blog again tomorrow. I hope everyone is having a lovely holiday so far! :D

star with royal beauty bright

♪♫ God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Barenaked Ladies

I woke up super early on Friday to go to the bus station. Matt's mom drove me. And he came along of course. Luckily they didn't ID me. So there was no problems getting on the bus. Before heading off; Matt's mom gave me $20, which was lovely. And Matt gave me lots of kisses. Its gonna be weird not sleeping next to him for the upcoming two weeks. :(

I arrived in Halifax around 2:00 pm. The bus was an hour late. Ugh. And the trip was long and boring as hell. The scenery sucked, but at least I had Led Zeppelin to keep me sane. I also slept for most of the trip, which helped as well. I really hate taking the bus. Not exactly a fun time. -_-



My grandparents picked me up when I arrived. And we immediately went through the Wendy's drivethrough for my favorite food; chilli cheese nachos! That seems to be a tradition. Every time I arrive here, I get some Wendy's. Probably because I don't get Wendy's when I'm home. Its too far away. Anyways, we also stopped at the store. I got Powerade and a crossword. Then we finally got to the house. :3

I had a pretty good day after that. I got my bracelet back that broke a while ago. So happy! But when I was putting it on, I realized that my tattoo has faded quite a bit. I'm in desperate need of a touch up. So I got an appointment for the 31st, to get my tattoo touched up. So excited! Anyways, I also got to put the angel on the top of the tree (like I did when I was a kid). It looks so magical! ^_^



My grandmother borrowed my cousin's car after she got home from work. We went to Value Village, but didn't find anything. Then we went to the pet store (my grandmother bought my cousin's dog a Christmas present), drug store (to put in my prescription - which was $165 & my grandmother paid for it) and grocery store (to get some groceries). :P

I unpacked my stuff when we got home. And I made myself comfortable in the guest room. My night ended with a sub, pop, Powerade and TV. Pretty great. Oh and Matt's sister informed me that she went home to grab something and seen the arrangement of gifts I left for the family on the table, and thought it was cute. I can't wait for them to open everything! So excited. :)

Yesterday I was woken up around noon. Apparently my grandmother had a hair appointment, so we dropped her off and went for lunch (my cousin Marta & I). When we picked her up...I was in a bit of shock. Her hair is completely grey now. Its so strange. I'm used to her brown hair. But she is sick of dyeing it apparently. So yeah...we went home and I played Doctor Who: Legacy while I waited for my dad to show up.

I had a pretty great time with my dad. We had homemade pizza, watched videos on YouTube and talked. And made plans for me to stay overnight at his place for a couple nights. I'm thinking horror movies and junk food!? Sounds perfect! After our visit, we went to visit my uncle Chris, aunt Deanna and cousin Ethan for an hour. It was a lovely visit. I rarely ever seen them. And my oh my...Ethan is getting so big! I swear he grew a foot since the summer! Also, Matt texted me while I was there and told me that he bought me a card and some gifts. I feel so lucky. ^_^


We drove my dad home afterwards, then went to the Dartmouth waterfront and looked at Halifax from across the water. My beloved Halifax. Its so beautiful at night! We also drove around and looked at Christmas lights for a while. One house was completely over the top. They even had an Eiffel Tower replica that lit up! Overall, the day was good. :)


Today was quite boring. I've mostly just ate chilli and wrote blogs. Since I didn't have internet at Matt's, I'm publishing all the blogs I wrote during that time right now. I still need to edit them, but its going well! I'll write a blog in a day or two and let everyone know when they're all finished. Y'know...in case anyone feels like reading several blogs that explain why I haven't blogged in a while. But somehow I don't think anyone cares, LOL. :P

into the magic night

♪♫ In Dreams - Roy Orbison

I had a pretty amazing day yesterday. Although, I was slightly annoyed when I woke up. My mum promised that she would get my prescription filled for me, but she didn't. Ugh. And I was in pain (bladder infection). So I had to go out myself and get it. On a more positive note; I checked the mail on my way out the door, and there were two packages for me! It was some of the things I've ordered; two used books and a DVD. I'm very pleased with the books, but the DVD keeps skipping. I'm trying to get a refund right now. I'm kinda pissed about it. -_-


Anyways, I went to the pharmacy up the road to fill my prescription. I was too lazy to take the bus to the pharmacy that I usually go to (which I regret - because the one up the road charged me $4 & its usually free). I also mailed some Christmas cards, picked up some stuff for my mum, bought myself some stuff that I need (mostly makeup - which is so expensive -_-), and bought a box of peppermint tea for my mum and I. Yum!

The evening was just...so awesome. I met up with Kara for a wifey night. We were all dressed up and feeling great. First thing we did was go to the liquor store. Kara bought us strawberry daiquiri coolers. Then we met up with her friend Mike to smoke a joint. I wasn't in the mood for getting stoned (more for them, I guess :P), so I went into the nearest store and bought a crossword instead (& I didn't win, sadly - I had such high hopes D:). Anyways, Mike walked us down to the bars, then he had to leave. That is when our night really began! :D

I bought Kara and I a pitcher of beer at one of my favorite bars. It was quiet. Which is what I like. We were non-stop talking about everything (since we don't get to see each other very often). Randomly Kara told me to invite Matt, which surprised me. And he arrived while we were freezing our asses off for a cigarette. The first thing she said was "You didn't tell me he was cute! He looks like The Doctor from Doctor Who!". I don't see it though. Anyways, Kara managed to get Matt out of his shell (he is very shy & awkward)...by playing drinking games. Nothing got too weird though. Except for me getting dared to lick Matt's elbow...which I did, LOL.

We went to another bar, because they had a heated patio, and Kara and I smoke a lot when we drink. Matt bought a pitcher that time (since Kara & I were broke). My favorite beer too; Molson Canadian! I got way too drunk. Beer makes me silly as hell. And I started yelling everything I said and laughing over nothing. Kara was pretty much the same way. And Matt was mostly sober, somewhat quiet, but looked very happy. Sadly, Kara had to be home at midnight, so we headed to Subway (so she could grab a sub to take home). On our way there, Kara found mistletoe and held it up in front of me and Matt. So of course, me being drunk, I grabbed him and kissed him. He wasn't complaining, haha. Anyways, we got to Subway, and I paid for Kara's sub plus her taxi fare. We didn't even get to drink the coolers. I hid mine in my fridge for another time. xD

Matt and I sat in Subway while I tried to sober up. I didn't want my mum to see me drunk. And sitting in Subway...well I had to buy a sub, LOL. I had the drunk munchies. As soon as I sat down with my sub, I began shovelling it in my mouth like a caveman. No shame. Then we went outside and walked around for a bit. I played some music on my playbook, and drunkenly rambled on about stuff that didn't make sense. It was only around 1:00 am, but Matt said it was 'late' and that I should go home. I knew he was saying that because I was too drunk to be out in public. So he walked me home and made sure I got inside safely. Its so great that I've been having a fun time lately. Wooo single life! :P

Today has been alright. I woke up early and started the antibiotics for my bladder infection (I'm already noticing a difference - I'm peeing more normally now). I had lunch with my mum. Not out anywhere. Just in the house. But my family is the type that rarely has meals together, so it was nice. And once again; I checked the mail and there was another package for me! It was another used book! I seriously hope I don't order anything else online for a few months. Its becoming quite the bad addiction. -_-


I also had a strange dream last night; I was in high school for some reason. And Matt was there. But he was kind of a douche. He posted a bunch of embarrassing videos of me on Vine, then showed everyone. And I began screaming and trying to fight everyone. So I got kicked out of school and had to go work at a construction site. Then my hot math teacher from high school showed up and yelled at me. He gave me a bag of homemade Halloween cookies and told me to eat them. I refused, so he yelled again. Then we fell in love and we kissed. What the fuck!? LOL. Other than that, nothing else interesting has happened today. And I have no plans for later. I think its just gonna be a lazy day. Movies and munchies sounds good to me. :3

no escape from reality

♪♫ Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

I spent most of this week just being a hermit. Everyone was busy and I felt too lazy to get up and do anything. I had a somewhat good time though. I watched a lot of TV, watched movies, read some more of Last Sacrifice, browsed the internet and pigged out on food. I went to Subway twice, which was pretty awesome. But yeah...yesterday I finally left my house! I had plans to see The Dark Knight Rises, but I ended up just hanging out at the mall with Kaley and Emily.

Shopping wasn't as awesome as I thought it would be. I mean, I loved hanging out with Kaley and Emily, but I didn't really buy anything for myself (just a phone case, cigarettes, pop, liquor & a crossword scratch ticket). Although, I ended up buying Kaley a Hello Kitty key cover and I gave her six dollars to get a phone on contract. It was a ridiculously awesome deal. She got one of the best android phones possible, a purple case and a $100 prepaid MasterCard (which she used to buy a bus pass, cigarettes & personal products). I don't even understand how it was only six dollars, but oh well...its fucking awesome.

I was gonna go to Tasha's for a party, but I told Tristan I wanted to hangout with her and the guys. So we just walked around uptown for a bit. I ended up finding five dollars and finding out that Julius sells smokes, which blew my mind. After that, we sat in queen's square and drank. It got pretty wild after a while. It started with talking and awesome music, then we started playing truth or dare. Everyone was really drunk, so we were all up for the crazy dares. I ended up getting three lap dances, having two three-way kisses, kissing everyone and way more embarrassing things. Oh and I peed behind a bush...pretty sure some people seen me.

Usually I'm never that bold. I pretty much never do any of those things, but last night I just had so much confidence. I felt so outgoing and happy. I still feel that way. Its just so wonderful. I don't even care if those things are considered "slutty" or whatever. It was liberating, I felt free and it was awesome. I think everyone should let loose every once in a while.

Anyways, after that insane drunken adventure, I went to Tristan's house with her and Keenan. We continued our game of truth or dare and it got pretty interesting...in a good way. We listened to some awesome music and played a couple more drinking games. I told Keenan if he bought me Reese Cups that I would kiss him (why not? he is really cute!). We ended up kissing for quite a while. He was an amazing kisser and when he kissed my neck, I melted. It was so amazing. We texted each other a bit today...he is such a cutiepie. I want to start out being friends though. I want to get to know him. I'm not sure if we will end up dating or being friends. Either way, he is a really awesome guy.

I got a drive home from Tristan's mom not long after I woke up. First thing my mum said when I got home was "where did that hickey come from?". It was so tiny and she was all the way down the hall. I can't hide anything from her. So yeah...I didn't even have time to relax, because my mum dragged me out to help her with groceries. I had a lunch at Mother Nature's (quiche & salad) before we did anything. I needed some fuel to keep me going. It was delicious and somewhat healthy. We also picked out a lot of healthy choices for groceries. I'm proud of us! Although, I'm craving nachos 'n cheese and red velvet cheese cake...eating healthy is hard.

my delicious lunch!
I'm glad that I didn't pick McDonald's or Wendy's. I'm doing better!
My mum's friends picked us up and took us to the Irving Nature Park. We walked around the marshes and the trails. I fought off a bunch of bugs that were trying to eat me alive. We seen a fox on our way out, which was really awesome. We tried to get a picture, but it ran away. On our way home, we stopped to see some weird stone sculpture things. Not exactly sure what they were to be honest. But yeah...finally getting home was awesome. I've been relaxing ever since then. Just laying in bed, trying to stay awake. I'm so tired. -.-

the marshes we walked around
This reminded me so much of the dead marshes from Lord of the Rings.

take these broken wings and learn to fly

♪♫ Blackbird - Sarah McLachlan

A lot has happened in the past five days. First of all, I've had a bit of drama going on. My mother caused it. She told me (while I was at my temporary job & I'm also on vacation) that my step dad doesn't want me to live there anymore. So we got into a big fight through text. She said she wanted me to live there, then she said she didn't and she kept changing her mind. I was confused. My grandmother and cousin got involved too. So it all blew up and got really unpleasant. The day ended with me crying in a car by myself, then going to bed in a bad mood. :(

I decided to get dressed up the next day, to make myself feel better. It worked. In the afternoon, I went to my dad's. I only get to see him a few times a year, so I was very excited. As soon as I got there, we decided to walk to downtown (he lives very close). We got something to eat at Pizza Delight, I bought a cute cat key chain at The Black Market (I named him Gary), went to Starbucks for a drink and I found the phone I want (but I later found out that its sold out). When we got back to his place, we relaxed for a bit, then we went to get groceries. I chose some healthy food for once, which I'm proud of. Last but not least, we went to Video Difference to rent some movies. We got The Stepford Wives and Carnival Of Souls. I ended up falling asleep after The Stepford Wives, so we didn't get a chance to watch Carnival Of Souls (its a two week rental, so we decided to watch it next week).

When I woke up in the morning (which I'm surprised about. I usually don't wake up till the afternoon), we decided to go to Tim Horton's and walk around downtown some more, so that I could take pictures. I soon regretted the decision to walk around though. The heat was a record temperature and I was sweating so badly that my clothes were soaked. I felt gross. Thankfully I made it back to his place without passing out. My grandmother showed up five minutes after we got back. Then we headed to the casino! It was my first time at a casino and I loved it! I had a strawberry daiquiri and played some machines. I spent over $50, but I only got 15 cents by the end of it. I don't regret it though. I had fun. :)

Now that brings us to today. I decided that I was going to buy the Blackberry I wanted, even though I had no money to activate it. I figured I would just save money for a month & activate it then. So we headed off to Telus. When I got there, I asked the guy how much it would be to activate it and it turned out to be half the price that I thought it would be. So my grandmother threw in $20 and I got it activated too! So now I have a beautiful Blackberry Curve 9360 with a decent $30 prepaid plan! I named her Rose and I'm absolutely addicted. I also got a cute cat case, which I named Celeste. I like naming things way too much. :) ♥

My new phone: Rose.

My phone case: Celeste.

First picture I took with my phone: my beautiful grandmother.

My cat key chain: Gary.
Thats about it for now. I'm gonna have a movie night with my grandmother. I'm thinking: Amanda Bynes movies and popcorn? Sounds perfect. :D

into our secret place

♪♫ All Around Me - Flyleaf

I'm unbearably depressed right now. I feel like my whole world is crashing around me. I have to move out of my apartment in less than a week...I'll have no money, no privacy, no internet, nothing at all...my only hope is that my mother will agree to let me live with her again. She said she'd think about it...now I'm just waiting eagerly for a response. I just want a normal life...

Speaking of "normal"...I'm quitting smoking for good and I'm quitting drinking for a little while (except for the concert. I'm gonna get drunk xD). I'm gonna make up some resumes and go on a job search. I really need to get my shit together. I'm sick of partying 24/7. I mean...it was fun while it lasted, but its getting old. I have to pull my pants up and face reality.

I've been thinking about careers lately. I've come up with a few that I'm interested in...

• Astronomer.
• Writer.
• Film directer.
• Bartender.
• Photographer.

My dream career would be; traveling the world and writing novels. But its unlikely I'm going to achieve that goal.

Life would easier if I could just win the lottery. Then I'd buy a cute little cottage in Prince Edward Island, with an amazing view. I'd spend all day writing, listening to classical music and drinking tea. No one would bother me and I'd be at peace.

I wish things were easier...