i'm fallin' in too deep

♪♫ After Hours - The Weeknd

Wow... so much has changed since my last blog. I wish I could say there good changes... but unfortunately, as everyone knows, we are now in a pandemic. Where I live in Canada, most places are closed and people are being told they must quarantine themselves. I still have to go to work (I work in a homeless shelter), so I am unable to fully quarantine myself. Right now I'm visiting my family for the last time for a while (possibly months). Tomorrow I'll be heading home and from then on, it'll just be home and work for a while. Plus the occasional gas station visit and grocery pick up. I won't be able to see my boyfriend either. He has asthma, which is dangerous if he were to catch Covid-19. I'm considered a higher risk person to catch it, due to still having to work. This whole thing really sucks.

Unfortunately, I also have to cancel my trip to Hawaii that I was going to take in May. I'm devastated. The Lost Con was cancelled. There are talks of rescheduling for next year, but nothing is 100% right now. Either way, I'm still going to Hawaii once all of this blows over. This is my dream vacation and I'm still going to make sure it happens! I also will not be moving in with my boyfriend in May. For now, I will have to work hard to keep my sanity. I live with youth that I work with, which means that I have to be in youth worker/helper mode all the time. I will have no one to provide me support in person (which is better than support via a phone). Burnout is likely going to happen, but there really isn't anything I can do about it. I need to just keep working, saving money, and looking forward to the future.

As I said earlier, I'm currently visiting my family. I've been here for 3 days, because my boss is wonderful and gave me a little bit of time off of work for my mental health. Its been very helpful, but it went by too fast! I'm so upset that I won't get to visit here for a long time. Anyways... I've got to do some good self care since I got here. The best two things I did was make a big pot of vegetarian chili and take a bath with a Lush bath bomb as I watched YouTube videos. When I go home tomorrow, I'm going to be catching up on Riverdale with snacks (I ordered a bunch of junk food from the grocery store and paid online, so they are going to bring it out and put it in my trunk for me tomorrow when I stop by before heading home). Oh and I'll be checking out The Weeknd's new album! I'm not super into pop music, but I really do like The Weeknd.


How is everyone doing with this pandemic? What is everyone doing to occupy their time? Anyone have any good movies/tv shows/music/podcasts to recommend?

Update: I got all my quarantine snacks! This will probably last me 1 - 2 months. Not pictured: cheesecake and caramel sauce.

go ahead, explore the island vibes

♪♫ Harleys in Hawaii - Katy Perry

Its been a few weeks! Once again, I was super busy with work. I have been hustlin' hard at work to make extra money and will be doing that until mid-May, which is when I'm moving in with my boyfriend and then going on my vacation to Hawaii. My goal is to have my savings account hit five-figures by May and so far its going well! It sucks that my paycheck will drop by 1/3 (due to dropping one of my jobs), but I knew it was short lived when I took the job (its a job that people usually only do for 6 months - 1 year). Since I've had it, I have been able to pay for a trip to Hawaii, buy a new laptop, buy a new phone, buy a PS4, buy a car, pay for therapeutic massages, buy new clothing/shoes, buy lots of new DVDs/Blu-rays for my collection, plus buy lots of other random items. I have spoiled myself for the first time in my life (I was dirt poor & on government assistance for most of my life). I feel so blessed. ❤

Speaking of Hawaii, I just recently discovered this song and I'm obsessed! I'm not a Katy Perry fan, but I've been really enjoying this song and its getting me pumped for Hawaii in May!



My boyfriend and I finally got to celebrate Valentine's Day! He brought me so many gifts, which I didn't expect at all. He is so sweet! I paid for our dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and gave him a box of Reese cups (his favorite). It was a wonderful evening! We also played video games, went for a walk and went to see the Sonic the Hedgehog movie! The movie was actually surprisingly decent. Speaking of good movies, I also seen Parasite recently, which was amazing! And this isn't a movie, but I Am Not Okay on Netflix is also really good! Highly recommended! Finally, for movie-related news, my copy of Rodger's & Hammerstein's Cinderella on DVD has arrived!


Tonight I'm going out for dinner with my dad, then going to see The Invisible Man at the movie theatre. I hope everyone is doing well!

you make me mad, i'm fire again

♪♫ Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Rey

I thought that I had written a blog a week or two ago, but I guess I didn't. Oops! I'm just going to list of everything new that has happened lately. Its in no particular order...

• I bought the Blockbuster party game (well actually I got it for free because of rewards points & a gift card). I played it with my boyfriend and a friend, and it was a ton of fun!


• Went to see Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker and Doolittle. Both were good in my opinion, but I thought that The Rise of Skywalker could have been better.

• Went axe throwing and drinking with some co-workers from work. It was a good time! I was home by 11:30pm though. I'm not as wild as I used to be, haha.

• Got my new phone! The camera quality is amazing. I'm blown away by how great it is! So excited to take it to Hawaii to take pictures!

• I got new items in the mail; Joker on DVD, The Lighthouse on Blu-ray, The Sinaloa Story by Barry Gifford and a Lost con 2020 hat!


• Missing my family a lot lately. I cried one night over it. Its just been rough because of how hard I'm working.

• My boyfriend finally came to visit me at my new house. It was so lovely to see him! We went out for dinner, then went out for lunch with my family the next day.

• Got offered a permanent position at work. Yay! My boss told me how impressed she is with my performance!

• Work has been more high stress lately. This past Saturday was my worst shift so far. I felt completely drained afterwards.

• My road test is in two days! I'm super nervous, but excited! If I pass, I'm going to get a car in the next couple weeks. I want to get Honda Civic, but I don't want to pay too much money, so I am looking into used Honda Civics. I got a few appointments in the next week to set everything up!

That is all for now. I hope everyone is well! I'm going to try to respond to comments very soon!

i'll be sparklin' bright

♪♫ St Tropez (Party Girl) - Lana Del Rey

How has everyone's new year been going so far? I just worked for 8 days straight, which ended on Tuesday. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! I had yesterday off, which was also a snow day, so I relaxed inside and did nothing exciting (just some minor cleaning & watching TV)... which was awesome! Having a lazy day after working for so long was wonderful. I do work today, but then I have another 3 days off. I'm spending most of that visiting my boyfriend. His birthday was on Tuesday, so I am taking him out for dinner to celebrate!

I've done a fair bit of online shopping lately. I ended up buying a new phone. This wasn't an impulse buy, its actually something I've been looking at for a while. Its mostly for the camera honestly. I was just going to buy a digital camera (to take good pictures when traveling), but then a youth I work with told me about a brand called Xiaomi that has affordable phones that are iPhone quality or better! I researched it heavily and concluded it was a great investment. I paid around $400 for a phone with a 48 megapixel camera and 64gb of memory! To put that in perspective; two years ago I paid around $300 for my current phone which has an 8 megapixel camera and 16gb of memory. What an upgrade!


I also bought screen protectors, a shockproof phone case, and a popsocket for the phone. So excited! It will take a month or so for all the items to arrive, but it will be worth it. I cannot wait! Aside from that, I also ordered some new planner stickers, cactus paperclips, a couple movies on DVD/Blu-ray, travel towels, eye mask, ear plugs, a combination lock, luggage tags, a selfie stick, and a new book. As you can tell, most of those items are for traveling. I'm trying to get everything I need now before May comes (when I travel to Hawaii). All I will need to buy close to May will be clothing/swim gear! I'm putting that stuff off, because I am hoping to lose some weight first.

That is all for now. I'm gonna watch The Office and relax before I have to go to work. Hope everyone is doing well!

i'm living like jim morrison

♪♫ Gods & Monsters - Lana Del Rey

Well... its been almost a month since I last blogged. Oops! I guess I got really busy! A lot has happened since my last blog. I'm just going to list everything in bullet form, in no particular order...

• I got a super cute neon floral velvet/sheer off-the-shoulder top for exactly $1.70 at Forever 21 (because they're closing all their stores in Canada). Best deal I've ever gotten!


• Failed my road test... sadly. The tester said I did great aside from one mistake which was an auto fail. He was very nice about it and told me not to be too upset because I really should have passed, I was just nervous and messed up on one big thing. I've already re-booked my next one, which won't be until February. Lots more time to practice!
• I went to see Knives Out at the movies... twice! I really enjoyed it the first time, so I went to see it again on my birthday! I also brought macaroons along the first time. I haven't had them in so long, they were delicious!


• On Black Friday, I bought a PS4! I had been debating between getting a Nintendo Switch or PS4 for weeks, then I finally decided on the PS4! I'm so excited! It also came with 3 games, and I also bought Grand Theft Auto IV separately.


• Been having a bit of a rough time at work. I have been overworking myself a bit and struggling with a couple coworkers. Hopefully things get better soon!
• I got paid to see The Nutcracker for work (my ticket was also free). It was so wonderful! I love being able to attend things for free because of work!


• I signed up for Disney+ and have been watching tons of nostalgic movies and shows! Mostly I've been watching Lizzie McGuire, haha.
• I finally got American Horror Story: Freakshow on DVD! I've been wanting it for a long time, because its one of my favorite seasons of American Horror Story. I've been watching it for the past few days now.


• Went to a Christmas party with my boyfriend and his friends. We had a gift exchange and I ended up getting a storm trooper dashboard bobblehead and a little box of Turtles. Now I have my first car decoration for when I get a car!
• I made a giant pot of veggie chili and two batches of shortbread cookies. They were so yummy!


• Had 3 different birthday dinners. One with my boyfriend, one with my grandmother and cousin, and one with my dad. So much delicious food!
• I got lots of awesome birthday/Christmas gifts; a hand-painted Alice in Wonderland tea box made by my dad, Jeffree Star Cosmetics items, The Women of David Lynch book, Turtles chocolates, a starry fuzzy robe, two pairs of shoes, boot socks, a movie theatre gift card, and lots of cash.


• I had a massage on my birthday and it was wonderful! It was expensive, but I felt like treating myself to something fancy. Glad that I did!
• A youth that I work with designed a logo in collaboration with a local brand that makes clothing items. I ordered a hat to show support and I finally got it today. Its so lovely!


Thats all I can think of for now. I'm sure there is more, but its hard to think of it right now since its been so long. Bye for now! I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays!

she walks the streets so mean

♪♫ Carmen - Lana Del Rey

What a busy week its been! I worked a combined 24 hours (4 different shifts) between Friday at 2:00 pm and Sunday at 7:30 am. I was so exhausted! I don't know how I made it through. I'm definitely glad I did though! Oh, I also received 3 From Hell in the mail on Friday, which definitely helped my mood, haha! On Sunday, my boyfriend came to visit me for the night. We went out for dinner with a friend, then came back to my place and watched Eli (the new horror movie on Netflix). After that, we watched some TV and cuddled. The next day, we had breakfast, went for a nice fall walk, then he headed home. It was so nice to see him! ♥♥♥


Monday was election day here in Canada. I went out and voted of course (its important!). The results weren't what I hoped for, but I'm glad at least that the conservatives didn't win. Monday was also my big self care day! I got a professional therapeutic massage for the first time ever. It was amazing! My back feels a lot better now. After that, I went to the mall for dinner, which was nice... but I was originally gonna go to a local Mexican restaurant, until I found out that they closed to move to a different location. Ugh. I was also going to go to the movies, but I decided that I wasn't in the mood to go. Anyways, I ended up buying a bunch of things at the mall/grocery store; a little light-up cactus, pumpkin spice instant oatmeal, two rectangular plates with a bat pattern and some groceries for myself, plus some little gifts and cards for upcoming birthdays, plus Christmas. So it was still a good day!


Yesterday was a busy day too. I had a driving lesson in the morning, which went great. I'm enjoying driving now! I decided to go shopping again in the afternoon. This time I went across the city to a different mall, where I didn't really find anything aside from a few small things for myself; a new pair of slippers, a pair of gloves (which allow me to use touchscreen devices - I didn't realize that when I bought them), blueberry muffins and some chocolate. Then I stopped at the bank to get my paycheck and make an appointment with a financial advisor. I have been stressing about saving money lately, so I think talking with a professional with help me a lot. I also want to have two different savings; one for retirement and one for emergencies/vacations. Currently I've been trying to save $1000 per month, which I think is really unrealistic. I end up not having enough to enjoy myself and then I spend some of my savings.


Last night I slept for 12 hours. I rarely sleep more than 8 at the most, so it was much needed. I'm a bit groggy today, so this is my lazy self care day. I plan to pretty much just lay in bed, eat snacks, and watch TV/movies all day. Right now I'm going to make tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich and watch Halloween III: Season of the Witch! Today is sadly my last day off before I head back to work for 5 days. Its been a great 4 days off though!

seven inches from the midday sun

♪♫ Smooth - Santana ft. Rob Thomas

Before I start my blog; Happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate it! I hope ya'll have a lovely time with family and eat lots of yummy food! Now onto the blog...

The day after my last blog, I decided to do some baking and I made lemon blueberry banana muffins! They are much healthier than regular muffins, which is why I made them (I am trying to eat less sugar). I was also going to make apple crumble, but I didn't have enough time because I had to catch the bus to my boyfriend's for the weekend! We had a great weekend together, as always. We celebrated my new job, visited his parents, and went to a party with his friends. I wish I could have stayed longer!


Monday was a crazy day. I had a driving lesson, a job interview, then I worked for 8 hours. I definitely overbooked myself! My anxiety was really high all day. My driving lesson didn't great because I wasn't focused (I kept thinking about the job interview), then I was super nervous at the interview, and then I kept thinking about how both things went while I was at work. I felt completely exhausted!

I spent all week working, then I had today off. I was hoping for a chill day, but I had too many errands to run. I had a driving lesson again (it went really well!), dropped keys off at work (I accidentally took them home with me yesterday), got a road test receipt, picked up my online order of headphones, did some Christmas shopping, got some groceries, mailed a couple Etsy orders out, cleaned my room and did some food prep. I'm so tired!


My Gumy headphones broke earlier this week and I was unable to find them in any stores in my area, so I contacted the manufacturer and asked if any local stores had any left. They told me that one store had 5 pairs left, but that they are discontinued, so I should buy more than 1 pair if I like them a lot. I went on their website and ordered 3 of them! Also... pumpkin spice cheerios are back!!!
Aside from all that; I've been feeling a little run down lately, so I decided to book a massage for myself for later this month to have something to look forward to. I have never had a professional massage before, but I figured trying a new type of self care would be fun! I also decided that I'll make a day out of it; I'm going to get a massage, go to dinner, go see a movie, get some weed, have a big cup of tea, and have a hot bath. It'll be the best self care day ever!

That is all for now. Tomorrow I'm heading to Cape Breton with my dad to visit with family for Thanksgiving. I'm so excited! I hope everyone has a good weekend!

giving my life to a rainbow like you

♪♫ Bold As Love - Jimi Hendrix

What a week its been! And not in a good way... I've been stressed. After my last blog, I had my final driving class and there was a test at the end. I nearly failed it. I just barely passed. Even though I did pass... I still felt very disappointed in myself. I'm used to much higher marks! I think its mostly because I had to sit and listen to someone talk for 7 classes which were 3.5 hours each time. I don't have a good attention span for that. Plus I haven't taken a test in a long time either, so I was anxious. At least it was multiple choice though... I think that saved me.

I was so stressed the day after the test, that I ended up being 15 minutes late because I just couldn't pull myself together. Ugh. Good thing my work is very understanding/laid back about being late, so it wasn't an issue. However... I got some bad news at work. The position I was hoping to apply for has been filled. What happened is they posted for the full time version of the position and then decided to just hire all positions from the applicants. I can see from their point of view why they did it; overnight worker positions are hard to fill and they wanted it done quick. But... its really unfair that I never got the chance to apply. I'm a bit sour about it. However, there is another position I was considering as well, which has been posted; a live-in support worker. I have a tour of the house on Friday before I make my decision to apply (the deadline is Sunday night). I'm quite certain that I'll be applying though!

On Sunday, my boyfriend came to visit me for the night. As soon as he came in, he could tell something was off... even though I was trying to hide it. I told him about it and he cheered me up! We then went for dinner at a local pub that I've never been to before. He told me that they have the best burgers in town and he was right! They had a veggie burger that, I dare say, is the best veggie burger I have ever had! After that, we came back to my house, watched movies and cuddled. The next morning, I made him breakfast and then we went for a walk to the nearby lake before he headed home. It was a lovely visit!

I had yesterday and today off from work. I was originally intending on trying to get shifts for both days, but then I decided that I really need a break from work. No shifts came up anyways, so it worked out! Yesterday I did absolutely nothing. The only exciting thing I did was eat garlic fingers and watch horror movies. It felt so great to be lazy! Today was a more productive day. I did a couple loads of laundry, re-arranged my room a bit, cleaned a little, made a meal plan for the next week, had a bath, gave myself a facial, watched TV, had a big cup of tea and relaxed in bed! Today was also pay day, which is exciting, haha!

As for shopping in the past week... I did a fair amount. I feel like I'm always shopping! I'm probably a bit addicted, haha. Anyways, I bought this cheesy horror movie at the dollar store last week; Stage Fright. I watched it and it was... different, haha. Not necessarily bad, but it was a musical, which I didn't expect. I also ordered a mini expandable accordion file folder on Ebay. I came up with a great idea to budget my money with it; I'm going to put cash in each section for different things I need to pay for, like; rent, groceries, bus pass, etc. I'm already really good with saving money, but I'm hoping it will help me to save even more!


Oh and before I go; rest in peace Sid Haig aka Captain Spaulding from House of 1000 Corpses (one of my favorite movies of all time). He is a horror icon and will forever be remembered! My best friend Kara is more upset about his death than I am. She was heartbroken. I ended up buying her an extra Christmas gift to add to her package; a Captain Spaulding Funko Pop figure. She is gonna love it! Her own little Sid to keep forever.


That is all for now! I wish I had more to talk about!

you're such a heavenly view

♪♫ A Sky Full of Stars - Coldplay

What a week its been! I lost power for a few days after the hurricane hit. It was rough... especially because a few of the movies I downloaded weren't working! I only had three movies to watch, which obviously I went through pretty quick. I spent the rest of the time laying in bed and listening to a portable radio for updates. I also went $30 over my phone data, because I wanted to contact people and find more information about the hurricane. On a happy note though, my service provider is waiving all the additional data fees for hurricane victims, so I don't have to worry about it! I also consider myself lucky because my house didn't get damaged at all (a few of my neighbors had trees hit their homes and/or cars). Oh and I was supposed to work on Saturday (right at the worst of the hurricane), but the buses stopped running and the bridge closed... meaning I had no way there. My co-workers were understanding though and luckily someone was able to take my shift.

Despite the lack of power, I went ahead with my evening plans on Sunday (the hurricane was over at this point); going to dinner and a movie with two of my college friends! Luckily the power at the restaurant and movie theater came back quickly. This is likely because a fire station is on the same power grid. Anyways, we went to a restaurant called Boston Pizza. I had a peach margarita, a veggie pizza, and a mini brownie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream for dessert. It was delicious! We also spent a while talking and catching up with each other before we went to the theater. At the theater, we went to see IT: Chapter Two! Ironically, we went to see the first IT movie together exactly two years prior! Anyways, Chapter Two was amazing! I actually liked it more than the original and the first IT movie. Also, I didn't get any treats at the movie, but I did buy an awesome collectible cup with a little Pennywise on top!


Going to work on the Monday after the hurricane was a bit brutal. I was unable to have a shower due to the power being out and my workplace had no power either! That made things even more difficult because we had to write all our notes by hand and we had to listen closely to the front door because the doorbell wasn't working. It was a rough shift, but the overnight workers had an even worse time because they sat in darkness all night! At least I had the daylight to get me through. A couple hours after I got home that night, my power came back! I was beyond happy. I spent my evening cleaning and then I made myself a nice hot meal for dinner.

I worked most of the week. Luckily I was able to pick up a few extra shifts, which really helped, because I was low on hours. Aside from working my butt off, I got Supernatural Season 14 on DVD in the mail, I made a giant pot of spicy vegetarian chili, and I also did some online shopping! For shopping, I pre-ordered IT: Chapter Two on DVD and Three From Hell on DVD. I also got started on my Christmas shopping! Its not even half of what I need to buy, but its a good start! I figured I may as well get started on it, because I have limited time with working so much. The stuff I got so far is for my best friend Kara and her kids.






For Bentley: Magic Treehouse books 5 - 8 and a robotic hand kit (he gets two gifts because his birthday is close to Christmas).
For Ava: Frozen Lego set.
For both kids: I Spy: Spooky Night and I Spy: Christmas.
For Kara: Ghosts of Mayflower by Tamera Lawrence.
This weekend, I went to visit my boyfriend for a few days. Yesterday was our two year anniversary, so we spent the weekend celebrating. I took him out for dinner (he paid for last year - so it was my turn). We agreed no gifts months ago, but he forgot... so he gave me a telescope! I was shocked!!! He knows how much I love space, so he figured a telescope would be something I'd like... he was so right! I haven't gotten to use it yet (because it was cloudy all weekend), but the booklet says I can see the moon in detail, half the planets, and stars of course! I can even take pictures with it! I'm definitely doing that! My boyfriend also gave me a copy of his apartment keys. I was blown away! Aside from that, we played video games, watched movies, and played Dungeons and Dragons with his friends. It was a lovely weekend. ♥


The only other piece of news I have is that I've decided what I'm getting myself for my birthday/Christmas! Well.. I usually only get cash as gifts, so technically I'm not paying for it. Anyways; its the Switch Lite in turquoise! I also want to get the games Stardew Valley and Deadly Premonition 2. I've spent a lot of time playing with my boyfriend's Switch and I've definitely become addicted to it. I can't wait to have one of my own!


That is all for now! I'm going to get ready for work/running errands. I hope everyone is well! I will try to visit everyone's blog this evening and leave some comments!

had your eyes wide open

♪♫ Grenade - Bruno Mars

I'm back again! I hope everyone is doing well! Lets jump right into it, starting with: I went to Walmart last weekend and bought lots of new things; a travel toiletry bag, a travel wallet (that protects against theft), a lock for my luggage, and a new plastic dresser for my clothes. I already had a travel wallet, but it was a cheap one and I decided that protecting my money/identity is worth spending a bit more money on. I went to the dollar store as well and bought a cute Halloween shirt! Oh and I bought some more travel stuff on EBay; a foldable mirror stand, a compact reusable bag, a foldable laundry hamper, a waterproof bag for a pair of shoes, and a little electronics storage bag.



The past week at work was very tiring. I had an evening shift, then three overnight shifts in a row. On my last overnight shift, I dealt with a big incident. Although I feel I handled the incident quite well, it was still exhausting! I also found out that two co-workers suddenly left. I'm sad and shocked... I really didn't they would leave. Both of their positions were part time positions, so I'm going to apply for one.

The difference between what I do now and part time is; right now I have no guaranteed hours, I just take shifts as they become available. I manage to get full time hours, but its still not guaranteed. With the part time position, I am guaranteed 40 hours of scheduled shifts every other week (plus I can still pick up shifts for the in between weeks) and its a couple dollars more an hour. I like that I have two weeks a month that I don't have to work if I don't want to. It will allow me to still visit my boyfriend every other weekend and have a week off every now and then when I just don't feel like picking up shifts for a week. I feel the guaranteed shifts will definitely reduce my anxiety about getting enough shifts. Wish me luck!

As for today; I was at my boyfriend's all weekend (playing video games & cuddling), and I just got back a few hours ago. I miss him already! On a happier note, season 9 of The Walking Dead was added to Netflix today! That is pretty much what I plan to do with my evening... plus eating some junk food, haha. I don't work until tomorrow evening, so I'm going to enjoy some alone time.

I'll leave you with a cute little drawing that I did in my planner. I've been doing lot of cute drawings in it lately to decorate it!