♪♫ No Way No - Magic!
Friday was an awful day. My boyfriend and I had a fight. It would have been a small fight if it wasn't for me letting my anxiety get the best of me. It went on for a while. We went for a drive and a had a talk afterwards. It became very apparent to me that I'm being a bit selfish in the relationship. I can see it. I'm not doing it on purpose, but I sometimes get scared and insecure, which makes me a bit needy. I asked him if he was thinking of leaving me and he said no. However, I'm still worried about it. I have let it go and not said anything else about it, because I don't want to dump my insecurities onto him.
I went to his staff Christmas party on Saturday, which was very anxiety inducing. We didn't stay long though. Then I stayed the night at his place. On Sunday, my birthday (I'm 25 now!), he spent the day and night with me. We went out for dinner with my family (I got nachos!), then back home to have cake and open birthday and Christmas gifts (I will post pictures below). After that, him and I went to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi. It was the best Star Wars movie in my opinion. We were tired by the time we got home, so we just cuddled and watched a movie. The next morning, we had pancakes and went to the mall (I bought a white knitted infinity scarf & two pairs of plain black leggings). It was wonderful and we had no arguments at all... but in the back of my mind, I was still thinking about Friday.
I spoke with my best friend today. She told me that she experienced the same thing at the beginning of her relationship with her fiance. Eventually, due to consistency, she was able to fully trust him and let go of her insecurities. I think I'm going to focus a lot on that. He is doing nothing wrong at all. I am just emotionally messed up and need to get control of it. I don't want my relationship to crumble because of it. I'm determined! I love him a lot and he deserves a girlfriend that is stable. I also don't want him to help me with this. Its my problem to fix and he doesn't need the burden.
Aside from all of that, I also did some online shopping this morning. I bought three things on Walmart's website with some birthday and Christmas money. I can't wait until they arrive!
That is all for now. I am going to try to relax and not worry about everything. I hope everyone's holidays are going well!
Friday was an awful day. My boyfriend and I had a fight. It would have been a small fight if it wasn't for me letting my anxiety get the best of me. It went on for a while. We went for a drive and a had a talk afterwards. It became very apparent to me that I'm being a bit selfish in the relationship. I can see it. I'm not doing it on purpose, but I sometimes get scared and insecure, which makes me a bit needy. I asked him if he was thinking of leaving me and he said no. However, I'm still worried about it. I have let it go and not said anything else about it, because I don't want to dump my insecurities onto him.
I went to his staff Christmas party on Saturday, which was very anxiety inducing. We didn't stay long though. Then I stayed the night at his place. On Sunday, my birthday (I'm 25 now!), he spent the day and night with me. We went out for dinner with my family (I got nachos!), then back home to have cake and open birthday and Christmas gifts (I will post pictures below). After that, him and I went to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi. It was the best Star Wars movie in my opinion. We were tired by the time we got home, so we just cuddled and watched a movie. The next morning, we had pancakes and went to the mall (I bought a white knitted infinity scarf & two pairs of plain black leggings). It was wonderful and we had no arguments at all... but in the back of my mind, I was still thinking about Friday.
I spoke with my best friend today. She told me that she experienced the same thing at the beginning of her relationship with her fiance. Eventually, due to consistency, she was able to fully trust him and let go of her insecurities. I think I'm going to focus a lot on that. He is doing nothing wrong at all. I am just emotionally messed up and need to get control of it. I don't want my relationship to crumble because of it. I'm determined! I love him a lot and he deserves a girlfriend that is stable. I also don't want him to help me with this. Its my problem to fix and he doesn't need the burden.
Aside from all of that, I also did some online shopping this morning. I bought three things on Walmart's website with some birthday and Christmas money. I can't wait until they arrive!
That is all for now. I am going to try to relax and not worry about everything. I hope everyone's holidays are going well!
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