♪♫ Nothing
Yesterday I decided to do something, that, in my opinion, will improve my life quite a bit. I’m planning on writing a book about all the mental, and physical abuse my mother put me through my entire life. Plus how I cut her out of my life, and overcame it all to better myself. I will not be using her real name, for legal reasons. I may even use a pen name, just to avoid the backlash. A lot of people know that I don’t speak to her and that she is not a nice person.. but no one really knows the extent of it. I think it will shock my family and friends upon reading it.
The main reason I want to write it, is that I believe it will help someone else going through a similar situation. Show them that its not their fault, and that they can move on and have a good life. It will also be therapeutic for me to get all my feelings out on paper. I do not care if my book doesn’t sell well or ends up in the bargain bin at the book store. I just feel that its important to get my story out there. Even if no one knows its my story.
I know that my mother will eventually find out about the book. I can pretty much predict right now how she will react. She will begin by attempting to re-write history. Telling anyone who will listen that she was a great mother, and I was a spoiled brat. She’ll make up lies, like she has already done.. saying I’m a drug addict, an alcoholic, a liar, a thief, a whore, etc. And then legal action will follow that. Of course, there will be nothing she can do. I won’t use her name or likeness, so she can’t sue me. She won’t know that at first though.
There is a possibility.. a pretty strong one.. that she will attempt to contact me. I will not answer her, or speak with her. If the contact persists after telling her to leave me alone, I will have to get a restraining order. I’m not looking forward to this drama that will surely occur. But its pretty unavoidable, sadly. She is incapable of seeing any wrong doing on her part.
I also decided something else: I’m going to live my life seeking to give love, rather than gain it. My mother was always a very selfish woman who didn’t know how to love or have empathy. I do not want to be like that at all. I also think that when you give, you receive more.. you know what I mean? Good people have a lot of friends. More meaningful relationships. People who admire them. Not saying that I’m gonna be a good person just to have more friends. I truly do want to help others, and share my love with them. The reward is just more love being sent back in your direction.. I suck at explaining things..
To change the subject a bit.. I’m moving in two days! I’m so excited! I’m trying to decide what I wanna do for the rest of today though. This is the only day this week that I don’t have any plans. I’m trying to see if anyone wants to hangout. But if that fails, I suppose I may just walk uptown for something to eat, then come home to watch Netflix...
Yesterday I decided to do something, that, in my opinion, will improve my life quite a bit. I’m planning on writing a book about all the mental, and physical abuse my mother put me through my entire life. Plus how I cut her out of my life, and overcame it all to better myself. I will not be using her real name, for legal reasons. I may even use a pen name, just to avoid the backlash. A lot of people know that I don’t speak to her and that she is not a nice person.. but no one really knows the extent of it. I think it will shock my family and friends upon reading it.
The main reason I want to write it, is that I believe it will help someone else going through a similar situation. Show them that its not their fault, and that they can move on and have a good life. It will also be therapeutic for me to get all my feelings out on paper. I do not care if my book doesn’t sell well or ends up in the bargain bin at the book store. I just feel that its important to get my story out there. Even if no one knows its my story.
I know that my mother will eventually find out about the book. I can pretty much predict right now how she will react. She will begin by attempting to re-write history. Telling anyone who will listen that she was a great mother, and I was a spoiled brat. She’ll make up lies, like she has already done.. saying I’m a drug addict, an alcoholic, a liar, a thief, a whore, etc. And then legal action will follow that. Of course, there will be nothing she can do. I won’t use her name or likeness, so she can’t sue me. She won’t know that at first though.
There is a possibility.. a pretty strong one.. that she will attempt to contact me. I will not answer her, or speak with her. If the contact persists after telling her to leave me alone, I will have to get a restraining order. I’m not looking forward to this drama that will surely occur. But its pretty unavoidable, sadly. She is incapable of seeing any wrong doing on her part.
I also decided something else: I’m going to live my life seeking to give love, rather than gain it. My mother was always a very selfish woman who didn’t know how to love or have empathy. I do not want to be like that at all. I also think that when you give, you receive more.. you know what I mean? Good people have a lot of friends. More meaningful relationships. People who admire them. Not saying that I’m gonna be a good person just to have more friends. I truly do want to help others, and share my love with them. The reward is just more love being sent back in your direction.. I suck at explaining things..
To change the subject a bit.. I’m moving in two days! I’m so excited! I’m trying to decide what I wanna do for the rest of today though. This is the only day this week that I don’t have any plans. I’m trying to see if anyone wants to hangout. But if that fails, I suppose I may just walk uptown for something to eat, then come home to watch Netflix...
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