♪♫ Nothing
That’s right! Just one more week! I can’t believe how fast time has flown by! Feels like it was just a week ago that I decided to move! Right now I’m feeling very excited, but a little nervous. I’m not sure if that nervous feeling will diminish or get stronger over the next week..
Right now I’m waiting for my new bed to arrive. My anxiety level is kinda high. Not entirely sure why. I don’t even have to do anything.. just stand there and let them switch the beds. I suppose it might have to do with the fact I’m a private person, and they have to go into my bedroom. I don’t like people in my personal space. It makes me uncomfortable.
I had yet another dream last night about falling in love. I don’t even know who the guy was, but he was cute. And I woke up with all those tingly love feelings. Y’know.. those ones you get when you first fall in love? I haven’t felt those feelings in years. I think I only felt them once to be honest. But I can’t wait to feel them again. I’m still sticking to being single for one year (to get my shit together), but after that.. I’m gonna be sleepless with thoughts of fairytales.
This blog is a bit all over the place.. lol.. so.. I’m not sure how I’m gonna spend my last week here. I’m thinking I’ll probably be doing last minute packing, watching Supernatural, reading fan fiction, and visiting with my friends one more time. Ugh. I’m really gonna miss them! Especially Kara. I seen her the other night, and I gave her half of the Tardis bff necklace set that I bought. She is the Clara to my Doctor. ❤
Also, lately I feel like I’m finally being myself. For years I struggled badly with identity issues. I didn’t know who I was. I went through many fazes that went into my adult years. I was emo, punk, hippie, geek, and a few more. None of them felt right.. except for being a geek. But whenever I was being a geek, I didn’t have a drinking or drug problem. I guess being a geek made me more tame. But having PTSD, and being in an abusive situation.. I couldn’t commit to being a geek. I needed to be not sober. All the time. So now that I’ve finally cut the abuse out of my life, I am happy being a geek. I don’t need to drink or do drugs anymore.
The only sucky part is that I only met my friends because of my drinking and drug problem. They’re all addicts, or used to be. And now that the liquor and drugs have been taken out of the equation, it turns out that we have nothing in common. So I’ve gotta meet new friends. I’m pretty nervous about it. Especially because I’ll be doing it a new city. I’m hoping for two girl friends who are geeks. Stylish and social geek girls though. Like me! Two would be awesome. My own little trio!
That’s right! Just one more week! I can’t believe how fast time has flown by! Feels like it was just a week ago that I decided to move! Right now I’m feeling very excited, but a little nervous. I’m not sure if that nervous feeling will diminish or get stronger over the next week..
Right now I’m waiting for my new bed to arrive. My anxiety level is kinda high. Not entirely sure why. I don’t even have to do anything.. just stand there and let them switch the beds. I suppose it might have to do with the fact I’m a private person, and they have to go into my bedroom. I don’t like people in my personal space. It makes me uncomfortable.
I had yet another dream last night about falling in love. I don’t even know who the guy was, but he was cute. And I woke up with all those tingly love feelings. Y’know.. those ones you get when you first fall in love? I haven’t felt those feelings in years. I think I only felt them once to be honest. But I can’t wait to feel them again. I’m still sticking to being single for one year (to get my shit together), but after that.. I’m gonna be sleepless with thoughts of fairytales.
This blog is a bit all over the place.. lol.. so.. I’m not sure how I’m gonna spend my last week here. I’m thinking I’ll probably be doing last minute packing, watching Supernatural, reading fan fiction, and visiting with my friends one more time. Ugh. I’m really gonna miss them! Especially Kara. I seen her the other night, and I gave her half of the Tardis bff necklace set that I bought. She is the Clara to my Doctor. ❤
Also, lately I feel like I’m finally being myself. For years I struggled badly with identity issues. I didn’t know who I was. I went through many fazes that went into my adult years. I was emo, punk, hippie, geek, and a few more. None of them felt right.. except for being a geek. But whenever I was being a geek, I didn’t have a drinking or drug problem. I guess being a geek made me more tame. But having PTSD, and being in an abusive situation.. I couldn’t commit to being a geek. I needed to be not sober. All the time. So now that I’ve finally cut the abuse out of my life, I am happy being a geek. I don’t need to drink or do drugs anymore.
The only sucky part is that I only met my friends because of my drinking and drug problem. They’re all addicts, or used to be. And now that the liquor and drugs have been taken out of the equation, it turns out that we have nothing in common. So I’ve gotta meet new friends. I’m pretty nervous about it. Especially because I’ll be doing it a new city. I’m hoping for two girl friends who are geeks. Stylish and social geek girls though. Like me! Two would be awesome. My own little trio!
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