♪♫ Young and Beautiful - Lana Del Rey
My memory has gotten worse since I last blogged. I really need to go to my doctor and talk to him about it. These pills are helping with everything else, but memory loss is driving me crazy. And he just recently upped my dosage too. So fuck...I hope there is an alternative. If not, its not a huge deal. I'm only supposed to take them for six months anyways. Even though...I'm pretty sure I've been taking them for longer than that. Anyways, here is a cute picture of my cat that I took after writing my last blog. She has been sleeping in my room lately. I think she finally loves me. ^_^
My sleeping schedule has been fucked up for a little while too. I don't even remember when it started (bad memory again...-_-). But on Tuesday, I remember that I woke up really late. My boyfriend went to a party for his friend's son and I waited for him to come over and help me get groceries. I don't remember what time he arrived, but it was late. I was really hungry, so we stopped by Jungle Jim's and I got something to eat. He wasn't hungry though, so he just ordered a drink. Then we headed to the grocery store and I got my groceries. I actually spent way more than I was supposed to. But my boyfriend told me that he would give me $100 next month for my apartment fund. :D
We put my groceries away quickly and headed out (since my mom was sleeping). I spent a little bit of time with him, then he called a taxi to go home. Pretty decent night...except for the fact my mother keeps deleting my Pretty Little Liars recordings. I had to download it and I wasn't very happy. That's all I remember from that night. I'm sure I just did what I usually do; watch TV, browse the web, listen to music and eat junk food. My life is so exciting...yay! -_-
Wednesday was a pretty great day. First of all; I ordered four items online for $17 all together; amazing deal! I bought; two Blade Runner comic books, white suspenders and a skeleton hand hair clip. I can't wait to get them! And I can't wait until I finally order the black bowler hat to complete my costume...not entirely sure when that is gonna happen. Hopefully soon though. I hate waiting. xD
I had plans to meet up with some friends at 7:30 pm for a party. I woke up late though...but I still managed to get ready and make it there on time! I met up with my boyfriend (who had a bag filled with liquor & beer), Kara and Austin, near a convenience store. Kara bought me banana marshmallows (she knows me so well!). I bought cigarettes and a blue slushie. I don't know what everyone else bought, but it doesn't matter. Anyways, we stopped by Austin's so that he could do a few things, then we headed to Garnet's.
It was a pretty awesome party. I didn't drink, but everyone else did. What made it so fun, is the fact we all played charades. It was a bit of a different version though. We were using an app on Kara's phone. Kat and Adam showed up later on in the evening. It was a ton of fun! We have plans to do it again this week! The only bad part of the night was; Austin being a douchebag. He has always had that I'm-better-than-you kinda personality, but I usually ignore it. Not that night...I got pissed. He kept dissing my favorite things (old movies, Doctor Who, etc) and insinuating that I was stupid. But I bit my tongue and acted nice until he left. After a while, it was just my boyfriend, Garnet and I left. We were about to leave, then Sean came in...drunk as fuck. He was on psychedelics too and was rambling on about the government and how everyone was out to get him. Pretty fucked up, but hilarious. We gave him the rest of the liquor and beer, then we left. I went home after that.
As soon as I woke up on Thursday, I started baking. Not sure why. I just walked into the kitchen and felt like doing something productive. I made about five batches of cookies; oatmeal craisin, peanut butter, and molasses. The molasses didn't turn out very good though. It was my first time making them and I fucked up somehow. Oh well. I'll try again sometime in the future. I love baking. Its really fun...even though I don't usually eat my own baking. I try to give it away so that I'm not eating a lot of unhealthy food. :P
After all the baking, I decided to modify a new theme for my Tumblr. It took a while, but I'm happy with it. Its a Twin Peaks theme, featuring Laura Palmer and accents from The Black Lodge. I've still got a few things to work on; mostly pages. I've also been really into making gifs lately. I've made so many in the past few days. If you go on my Tumblr and click on the "tags" page, then click on "my gifs", you'll see all my hard work (not shown in the picture below, because I screen-capped it before I changed the pages). If you do; tell me what you think! :)
I decided to get out of the house in the evening, so I met up with Matt around 9:30 pm (he just lives down the road). We didn't have any solid plans at all. We just walked around and talked. He was discussing his story. He hasn't gotten a solid plot yet, but he has some characters figured out and with his imagination...its gonna be awesome. He wrote me in as a character. My name is Misty Vandermoon, I have purple hair, I have a black rat named Tate, I can talk to animals, I can manipulate people through physical contact and I'm a street punk. Pretty awesome if you ask me. After that, I just grabbed some Subway and headed home. I think I spent most of my night making gifs, if I'm not mistaken.
I waited around for my boyfriend on Friday. He was sick (I'm thinking food poisoning...). He finally showed up in the late evening. The plan was; go to the bank (so I could deposit money & transfer it to my PayPal account), make homemade pizza and watch a movie. But the bank was closed and he didn't feel like eating anything, so we just watched an episode of The Colbert Report and a movie (Sucker Punch). He relaxed in my bed, barely speaking or moving. I felt so bad. I could see that he wasn't feeling well at all. He left after the movie was over (I really don't blame him - no one wants to be sick in someone else's house). I just continued my gif making addiction after that.
Yesterday was a very stressful day for me. Well...actually...more like anxious. I felt like I was gonna have a panic attack all day. I had to go to the pharmacy to get my prescription filled and my boyfriend wasn't able to come with me (he had a party to go to). I ran out of pills, so it was the last day I could do it. Luckily my friend Matt had nothing to do, so he came with me. It was a pretty funny adventure we had. We had to wait half an hour for my prescription, so we just fucked around in the grocery store. We made fun of movies, got our blood pressure checked (both of ours is normal, yay!) and looked at the card section (since I needed to get an anniversary card for my upcoming one year anniversary with my boyfriend). When I finally got my prescription, I spoke to the pharmacist briefly about my memory loss (she told me to tell my doctor) and then we left.
We went to the dollar store afterwards. I was still on the hunt for an anniversary card. But no luck. All the cards at the dollar store are really lame. So we went to Shopper's. They had a better selection, but I had a hard time. Most anniversary cards are either for married couples or are too romantic. So I ended up buying a cat card that plays music. Its simple, but cute. I wish I had more money to buy him an expensive gift...
But while I was buying the card...I started freaking out. I realized that this is my longest relationship and it scares me. I kept convincing myself that it wasn't serious so that I wouldn't get too attached, because I always get hurt when I give my heart to someone. But now that it's almost a whole year...it's become serious. This entire time I've been keeping a distance. I just can't do that anymore. But I don't wanna get close either. It's a delicate situation. I'm afraid. But my boyfriend says that everything will be fine. I hope he is right.
I was so stressed from my freak out, that I went and bought cigarettes and strawberry milk. A little bit of comfort to calm me down. Matt and I waited for a bus and I was feeling better, but still thinking about it. I talked with Matt about it briefly. He helped me realize that I'm damaged from past relationships and I'm expecting to get my heart broken all the time, so I'm always putting up my defenses. I don't know how to open myself up, but I'll figure it out.
When we got back to our neighborhood, we sat around and talked for a bit. I still couldn't stop talking about it. But it was helping. The more I talked, the more I realized. But I felt like I needed some alone time. I got some chili and nachos, then headed home. I tried watching Jack and Jill, but it was so fucking awful. Ugh. Since then, I've just been distracting myself with the usual stuff. But for the record: I know that I love my boyfriend and I'm not gonna leave him. Those are the only things I'm sure of.
My memory has gotten worse since I last blogged. I really need to go to my doctor and talk to him about it. These pills are helping with everything else, but memory loss is driving me crazy. And he just recently upped my dosage too. So fuck...I hope there is an alternative. If not, its not a huge deal. I'm only supposed to take them for six months anyways. Even though...I'm pretty sure I've been taking them for longer than that. Anyways, here is a cute picture of my cat that I took after writing my last blog. She has been sleeping in my room lately. I think she finally loves me. ^_^
My sleeping schedule has been fucked up for a little while too. I don't even remember when it started (bad memory again...-_-). But on Tuesday, I remember that I woke up really late. My boyfriend went to a party for his friend's son and I waited for him to come over and help me get groceries. I don't remember what time he arrived, but it was late. I was really hungry, so we stopped by Jungle Jim's and I got something to eat. He wasn't hungry though, so he just ordered a drink. Then we headed to the grocery store and I got my groceries. I actually spent way more than I was supposed to. But my boyfriend told me that he would give me $100 next month for my apartment fund. :D
We put my groceries away quickly and headed out (since my mom was sleeping). I spent a little bit of time with him, then he called a taxi to go home. Pretty decent night...except for the fact my mother keeps deleting my Pretty Little Liars recordings. I had to download it and I wasn't very happy. That's all I remember from that night. I'm sure I just did what I usually do; watch TV, browse the web, listen to music and eat junk food. My life is so exciting...yay! -_-
Wednesday was a pretty great day. First of all; I ordered four items online for $17 all together; amazing deal! I bought; two Blade Runner comic books, white suspenders and a skeleton hand hair clip. I can't wait to get them! And I can't wait until I finally order the black bowler hat to complete my costume...not entirely sure when that is gonna happen. Hopefully soon though. I hate waiting. xD
I had plans to meet up with some friends at 7:30 pm for a party. I woke up late though...but I still managed to get ready and make it there on time! I met up with my boyfriend (who had a bag filled with liquor & beer), Kara and Austin, near a convenience store. Kara bought me banana marshmallows (she knows me so well!). I bought cigarettes and a blue slushie. I don't know what everyone else bought, but it doesn't matter. Anyways, we stopped by Austin's so that he could do a few things, then we headed to Garnet's.
It was a pretty awesome party. I didn't drink, but everyone else did. What made it so fun, is the fact we all played charades. It was a bit of a different version though. We were using an app on Kara's phone. Kat and Adam showed up later on in the evening. It was a ton of fun! We have plans to do it again this week! The only bad part of the night was; Austin being a douchebag. He has always had that I'm-better-than-you kinda personality, but I usually ignore it. Not that night...I got pissed. He kept dissing my favorite things (old movies, Doctor Who, etc) and insinuating that I was stupid. But I bit my tongue and acted nice until he left. After a while, it was just my boyfriend, Garnet and I left. We were about to leave, then Sean came in...drunk as fuck. He was on psychedelics too and was rambling on about the government and how everyone was out to get him. Pretty fucked up, but hilarious. We gave him the rest of the liquor and beer, then we left. I went home after that.
As soon as I woke up on Thursday, I started baking. Not sure why. I just walked into the kitchen and felt like doing something productive. I made about five batches of cookies; oatmeal craisin, peanut butter, and molasses. The molasses didn't turn out very good though. It was my first time making them and I fucked up somehow. Oh well. I'll try again sometime in the future. I love baking. Its really fun...even though I don't usually eat my own baking. I try to give it away so that I'm not eating a lot of unhealthy food. :P
After all the baking, I decided to modify a new theme for my Tumblr. It took a while, but I'm happy with it. Its a Twin Peaks theme, featuring Laura Palmer and accents from The Black Lodge. I've still got a few things to work on; mostly pages. I've also been really into making gifs lately. I've made so many in the past few days. If you go on my Tumblr and click on the "tags" page, then click on "my gifs", you'll see all my hard work (not shown in the picture below, because I screen-capped it before I changed the pages). If you do; tell me what you think! :)
I decided to get out of the house in the evening, so I met up with Matt around 9:30 pm (he just lives down the road). We didn't have any solid plans at all. We just walked around and talked. He was discussing his story. He hasn't gotten a solid plot yet, but he has some characters figured out and with his imagination...its gonna be awesome. He wrote me in as a character. My name is Misty Vandermoon, I have purple hair, I have a black rat named Tate, I can talk to animals, I can manipulate people through physical contact and I'm a street punk. Pretty awesome if you ask me. After that, I just grabbed some Subway and headed home. I think I spent most of my night making gifs, if I'm not mistaken.
I waited around for my boyfriend on Friday. He was sick (I'm thinking food poisoning...). He finally showed up in the late evening. The plan was; go to the bank (so I could deposit money & transfer it to my PayPal account), make homemade pizza and watch a movie. But the bank was closed and he didn't feel like eating anything, so we just watched an episode of The Colbert Report and a movie (Sucker Punch). He relaxed in my bed, barely speaking or moving. I felt so bad. I could see that he wasn't feeling well at all. He left after the movie was over (I really don't blame him - no one wants to be sick in someone else's house). I just continued my gif making addiction after that.
Yesterday was a very stressful day for me. Well...actually...more like anxious. I felt like I was gonna have a panic attack all day. I had to go to the pharmacy to get my prescription filled and my boyfriend wasn't able to come with me (he had a party to go to). I ran out of pills, so it was the last day I could do it. Luckily my friend Matt had nothing to do, so he came with me. It was a pretty funny adventure we had. We had to wait half an hour for my prescription, so we just fucked around in the grocery store. We made fun of movies, got our blood pressure checked (both of ours is normal, yay!) and looked at the card section (since I needed to get an anniversary card for my upcoming one year anniversary with my boyfriend). When I finally got my prescription, I spoke to the pharmacist briefly about my memory loss (she told me to tell my doctor) and then we left.
We went to the dollar store afterwards. I was still on the hunt for an anniversary card. But no luck. All the cards at the dollar store are really lame. So we went to Shopper's. They had a better selection, but I had a hard time. Most anniversary cards are either for married couples or are too romantic. So I ended up buying a cat card that plays music. Its simple, but cute. I wish I had more money to buy him an expensive gift...
But while I was buying the card...I started freaking out. I realized that this is my longest relationship and it scares me. I kept convincing myself that it wasn't serious so that I wouldn't get too attached, because I always get hurt when I give my heart to someone. But now that it's almost a whole year...it's become serious. This entire time I've been keeping a distance. I just can't do that anymore. But I don't wanna get close either. It's a delicate situation. I'm afraid. But my boyfriend says that everything will be fine. I hope he is right.
I was so stressed from my freak out, that I went and bought cigarettes and strawberry milk. A little bit of comfort to calm me down. Matt and I waited for a bus and I was feeling better, but still thinking about it. I talked with Matt about it briefly. He helped me realize that I'm damaged from past relationships and I'm expecting to get my heart broken all the time, so I'm always putting up my defenses. I don't know how to open myself up, but I'll figure it out.
When we got back to our neighborhood, we sat around and talked for a bit. I still couldn't stop talking about it. But it was helping. The more I talked, the more I realized. But I felt like I needed some alone time. I got some chili and nachos, then headed home. I tried watching Jack and Jill, but it was so fucking awful. Ugh. Since then, I've just been distracting myself with the usual stuff. But for the record: I know that I love my boyfriend and I'm not gonna leave him. Those are the only things I'm sure of.
Aw, your kitty is so cute! I love super fuzzy cats.. they're so nice to snuggle with. Does she have a name, or did I maybe.. uh, miss it? Eek! :x
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate about the memory loss thing. Now, I'm not taking any medication per-say but I feel (lately) that my memory has been slipping away and I'm like, fighting to get it back, or to remember anything. Maybe I'm just old, and need to ask a doctor about it. Haha.
I hope your sleep schedule gets back in order.. I freaking hate whenever mine is all screwed up. It just feels like you can't get back in that "groove", y'know?
Ps: That card is really freaking cute. Haha. Oh, and sorry for being really MIA about commenting! Eeek. :<
It's all thanks to dad and wyndham that we can afford the trip. It's looking like Montreal is our candidate for the wedding venue. It's beyond stressful. I can't balance, school, a baby, part time job, the house and wedding planning so I hired a wedding planner to make it easier on myself!
ReplyDeleteIs there any possibility of a different medication. Short term memory loss isn't good at all.
I thought you already had a bowler hat?... isn't that the black hat in a few of your instagram photos?
BTW; long relationships with someone you really care about is a good thing! the only reason you're scared is because all your long relationships ended the same way... he was really sweet for the first while and suddenly drank a big cup of instant asshole. but BJ is different. I don't know what it is but he definitely has my seal of approval. He's a great guy and you knew him for years before. He actually treats you the way you deserve to be treated! I think you two are the absolute sweetest together <3
Oh man, Sucker Punch is one of my favourite films of all time.
ReplyDeleteAnd hey, all that for $17 is a pretty good deal in all honesty! And I hope you feel better about your relationship soon.