i've been out on that open road

♪♫ Ride - Lana Del Rey

I'm having bad anxiety right now, but I'm gonna write a blog anyways. So lets start with last Wednesday. I met up with my boyfriend before going to see Kara. He had to come get me, because my anxiety was bad. It was really nice to see Kara for the first time in a while. I gave her the Star Trek shirt and frog plushie (for Bentley), that I bought when I was on vacation. After that, we got slushies and walked around for a while. We tried going to Garnet's, but he wasn't home and we didn't wanna wait. So Kara and I broke in the back door. We left his bedroom light on and left the door unlocked to fuck with him, haha. I still don't know how that went. But my boyfriend stayed outside because he felt uncomfortable.

My boyfriend and I went to his house afterwards. We started a game of Trivial Pursuit and I had a yummy homemade vanilla milkshake and some popcorn. We didn't get to finish the game though, because his mom had to drive me home and she wanted to go to bed early. I wanted Subway, so his mom stopped there first. My boyfriend and I got subs (even though he wasn't planning on getting one prior to going inside Subway). When we left Subway and we were headed to my house, something kinda funny happened. My boyfriend's mom was stopped by the police for going up a one-way street. They didn't give her a ticket, just told her not to do it again. But she was flirting with the cop. The dispatcher was reading off her information and when he stopped talking, she added "and recently single". It was so funny. xD

Oh and I almost forgot; my boyfriend is giving me his Xbox 360 with all his games for our anniversary (I may have mentioned it already, but my memory is bad). He says he prefers his PS3 way more and has barely played his Xbox 360 in a long time. I'm pretty excited because I've wanted an Xbox 360 for a while, but there was no way I could afford one. I wanna get a ton of games, especially; Bayonetta, Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, Dante's Inferno, Darksiders and L.A. Noire. I'm probably not gonna leave my house or talk to anyone for a while after I receive it. I love video games too much. ^_^

I was so stressed out all day on Thursday. I was supposed to write chapter seven for my story, but I had major writer's block. I started going crazy trying to figure out what the fuck I was gonna do. I finally came up with a plot near the end of the night. But I haven't written it yet. The reason is; by the time I actually figured it out, I was too tired to write. I just relaxed and watched The Colbert Report for the rest of the night. I'm taking a little break from writing. Not sure for how long. But I need some fresh new ideas.

I was supposed to hangout with my boyfriend and my friends on Friday, but everything got fucked up. I woke up late to start out, so I didn't get to my boyfriend's house until 7:30 pm. Kat and Adam decided to go to some random party instead of hanging out with us and I was pissed off. I felt like they chose liquor over us. But then Kat said they were coming to chill for a bit, so I got excited. But then she showed up with a bunch of people and I was pissed again. Mainly because they were all trying to convince us to go to the party, but we didn't wanna go for many reasons; the driver was drunk, the party was out of town, it was being held at a stranger's house, I would have had no way home and no way there either and my boyfriend had to work the next day at 9:00 am. So they left and we decided to play Trivial Pursuit again. I won, but he says its a tie because he won last time (silly couple fight). Anyways, I went home and spent the rest of my evening going through the "suicidal" tag on Tumblr and sending lovely messages to people in hopes that it would help a little and I attempted to make another video blog, but I failed. :P


Kat told me that she would make up for ditching me on Friday, by taking Alice (her daughter) and I to the beach for the sand sculpting competition. I was supposed to get picked up around noon, but she didn't show up or contact me. Turns out that her dad wanted to go, so he got my seat. I was a little pissed, but oh well. I got ready and went to meet my boyfriend at the mall around 5:30 pm. I was supposed to be there at 4:30 pm, but I was busy talking to a girl on Tumblr about her depression. Apparently I've helped her. She is pretty awesome too. We have a lot of the same interests. I made a friend. Yay. :D

Anyways, we had dinner at The Coffee Mill. I got the same thing that I always get when I'm there; vanilla milkshake and a poutine. Afterwards we went into a clothing store after that and I found a few things I wanted; Bon Jovi top, black tank top and red sweater. I couldn't afford them though, so my boyfriend helped out and payed for the red sweater and I payed for the Bon Jovi top and black tank top. Then we went to Wal-Mart and I found two more items I wanted; a white shirt and white pants (I used some of my grocery money - oh well). Weird combination, right? Its actually for my Alex Delarge costume. Not sure where or when I'm gonna wear it, but it will be awesome when I do! I just need white suspenders and a bowler hat, which I'm ordering on Ebay for a combined $30. Woooo!


My boyfriend was super tired by the time we got to his house, so we just relaxed on the couch. He played Dead Island and I watched The Colbert Report on his laptop. We barely spoke to each other. It was kinda boring actually. A little bit before I left, we were having a smoke with his sister and we were discussing secret passageways and tunnels in old houses. My boyfriend told me that he thinks there is a tunnel in his basement. So we went down to take a look. It was a perfectly carved square shaped hole in the ground that looked deep, but it was filled with water. We looked around at other stuff in his basement, but I seen a spider and ran upstairs. So yeah...his mom drove me home after that.

When I got home, I decided to organize my clothes and throw out anything that I never wear, was damaged, really ugly or didn't fit me. From there, I ended up cleaning my entire room. It was pretty exhausting. I also tried on my white top and white pants with my black boots to get a little preview of what my Halloween costume is gonna look like. I got so excited because it looks awesome! I don't remember what I did after that, but clearly it wasn't very important.

Yesterday was an exhausting day. I mean, holy fuck...I was so sore by the end of the day. For some reason, I decided to clean as soon as I woke up. I started with my childhood toys. I organized them into bags and put them back into the box they were in. Then I completely tore apart my room and filled five garbage bags full of stuff that was garbage, stuff I didn't need and stuff I didn't want. I organized everything, put stuff back and re-arranged some things. My room looks so much better now. I can actually walk into my closet! And I'll have so much less stuff to bring with me when I move out. Oh and I found one awesome thing (even though I thought I would find a ton of awesome stuff); my Pink Floyd leather jacket key chain that was missing for three years! I'm so happy I have it back. It brings back memories. ^_^


After all that work, I had a hot bath/shower, made pizza, ate some yogurt, drank a big glass of milk, and watched Breaking Amish: LA and True Blood. I thought there was two more episodes left of True Blood, but apparently not. It was the season finale. I was so angry with it. *Spoilers* I actually want Bill and Sookie to be together so I was kinda pissed that she is with Alcide now (even though he is hot as fuck). And if Eric is actually dead, I'm gonna lose it. He is too sexy and badass to die! I love that Sam is mayor now and his girlfriend is super pregnant. He deserves happiness and a good family. I pity Jason for being Violet's bitch. She is such a controlling person. Also, I love Bellefleur's Bar & Grill, I'm glad that Arlene owns it now. Finally...what the fuck is with the ending!?

Today has been slow and stressful. Kat wanted me to come over for True Blood, like I do every Monday. I downloaded it, put it on a flash drive, then she picked me up. We had to stop at a couple places along the way; to get gas and pick up Alice. Then we got to her house and began watching it. I didn't mind watching it a second time. And Alice was being so cute. She was laughing, trying to talk, running around, opening and closing the doors on the entertainment stand, throwing her bottle around and playing with the Playstation controllers. When the episode ended, Kat yelled out in anger. I completely understand her frustration. We have to wait a year for season seven!

She drove me home after that and I told her something very personal. I contemplated it for a little while and I had to tell someone. She gave me some pretty good advice about it and so far its working. I love that I can tell her anything. Its hard to find a trustworthy friend nowadays. Anyways, the rest of my evening will be spent browsing the internet, listening to music, watching TV and eating lots of food. All of which will take place in my bed.