♪♫ Born To Die - Lana Del Rey
I'm a huge slacker and I apologize for not blogging for over a week. I've been really busy. I'll explain a little better; with all the free time I've had, I've been writing my story. I've been so inspired and I have a lot of readers now, so I feel the pressure to keep getting chapters posted. Its a little annoying, because I don't wanna write the story for anyone else. Its for me. But so far, I've been staying true to myself. Yay! :)
So the day after I wrote my last blog...hmm...I'm having a hard time remembering. My mental issues cause bad memory and my pills cause bad memory, so my memory is pretty fried now. But I'm gonna try my best. So anyways, last Wednesday I blew off most of Idol to go to my friend's going away party. I don't see him a whole lot, but his name is Corey. He is leaving for Alberta, because of a job out there (I think he already left).
So to begin the story; my boyfriend and I went to Idol for about a half an hour and spoke with a few people while we waited for our drive (Kat and Adam - they went swimming). So finally they called us and said they were coming to pick us up in front of the city hall (which was across the street). So we jumped into their car while it was still moving. Slightly scary, and I ended up bumping my head off the top of the car.
We had to stop at my boyfriend's house so that he could get his beer and rum, then we dropped the car off at Adam's old house. We only had to walk for a few minutes to get to the party. It was in the backyard of Corey's parent's house...I think. There was a bonfire and some awesome music. Everyone was drinking. I knew everyone, except for Corey's family members. It was an awesome time. Lots of talking and laughs. Looking back on the good times.
Halfway through the party, my boyfriend and Kat left to get smokes. A few minutes later, Corey told everyone they had to leave. I was getting up to go, then Corey and Adam told me to stay. After everyone was gone, Corey told us that he just wanted a few close friends instead of a big party. Made us feel pretty special. So we just ate chips and continued hanging out for a little while.
We decided to go to Corey's apartment after a while. I was excited about having an actual bathroom to use, instead of peeing behind a bush in the yard. It took us a while to get there, because we were so drunk. Halfway there, we ran into Garnet, Shayne and Alicia, so we invited them to come along. Corey was throwing carrots at everyone for some reason. I don't even know where he got the carrots, but it was funny. I actually wanted to eat some, so he gave me the rest of them. Then we ran into Paul, Greg and a couple others. Paul lives with Corey, so that wasn't a huge shocker.
My mind is a little fuzzy, but I remember that Jenn, Matt and Sean showed up at some point. We spent some time in the living room, but then some dumb drama between the guys erupted, so a small group went into Corey's room. We were watching Family Guy and talking about random shit. I don't even remember that well. I remember that Corey gave me his Sunseeker poster. I'm gonna miss that hilarious fucker. I hate when people move away.
After the drama died down, we went into the kitchen. We had a hilarious conversation with Sean about being gay. My boyfriend is bisexual and Sean doesn't understand gay people (he doesn't hate them, he just doesn't understand), so he was asking my boyfriend a lot of questions. He seemed to understand better by the end of it. He asked my boyfriend "in the least gayest way possible, just say I walk into a bar or something and you see me for the first time, what is your first thought?" and my boyfriend replied by saying "good looking guy" and Sean nodded in approval. Then he said "I was expecting something like 'mmm you're tasty'" and we all laughed. It was one of the best moments of the night.
I remember that we were head banging for a while, Sean wouldn't put a shirt on, there was a push up competition, Alicia got drunk (which made me and my boyfriend happy, because she is the best drunk ever), Kat and Adam left, a few others left, we were singing along to awesome songs, we discussed my story a little bit, then my boyfriend felt sick and we left. We sat in the square for a while to get fresh air, then we walked to the school nearby and I called a taxi. I got a little too drunk and I remember that I felt so sick when I got home. I was leaning over my bed with a bucket.
I felt like absolute shit the next morning, and I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. He was a half an hour late and I felt like I was gonna puke the entire time I was there. I wanted to leave as soon as possible, but he wanted to talk to me to see how I was doing. Plus I needed a new prescription. Same pills, but he added something to it. A pill that will instantly calm me down if I start having a panic attack. Only for emergencies.
Afterwards, I went walking through the mall and decided to buy some books. There was a sale (three classic books for ten dollars) and I couldn't pass it up. Plus I found another book that interested me. I was intrigued by the summary and the first page. It has to do with the apocalypse and if you know me, you know that I love anything apocalypse-based. So anyways, I also grabbed a bagel on my way home, and stopped at two stores to look around. Didn't find anything though.
I drank lots of water when I got home and made lots of food. I felt better after a few hours. Which was great, because my boyfriend and I had a date planned for later that night and I didn't wanna cancel. So we met up sorta late in the evening. We went to the mall to kill time, like we usually do. I bought a few munchies before we left, then we went to the theatre and seen We're The Millers, which was so fucking hilarious. One of the best comedy movies ever. I couldn't stop laughing. I definitely recommend it! He came to my house for a little while after that. We were both so tired and I don't even remember what happened, but I think we just talked and cuddled. :D
On Friday, I'm pretty sure that I just did a lot of writing. I don't remember doing anything else. It takes so long to write a chapter. Its quite exhausting. I also updated a lot of stuff on the homepage for my story. Its more organized now. I'm pretty sure it was chapter four that I wrote that day and I had to write a sex scene, which is one of the most difficult things to write. I was told that I did good, so I'm happy about that. It sure was interesting. I also enjoyed lots of rainbow sherbet that day, because my mother finally took all the stuff off the top of the freezer so that I could get some of my food. :P
On Saturday, I did more writing. I wrote two chapters and decided to wait till Sunday to edit them. I decided to make a fan page on Facebook for my story, so that people who are reading it can get updates (click here!). I also decided to do my first video blog, so that people who have never met me offline, can see what my personality is like. The audio quality isn't the best. My digital camera wasn't working, so I had to use my webcam. Enjoy seventeen minutes of awkwardness, LOL! :P
So Sunday...was a really stressful day. I had to edit the two chapters I wrote previously and it took all day. It was exhausting. But I'm happy with the results. My boyfriend is pretty much my editor now. He read them before I posted them, to make sure they were alright. I got good feedback so far. I wish I got more. People keep telling me they love my story, but they usually don't elaborate further. Anyways, I also watched Breaking Amish: LA and True Blood, like I usually do every Sunday. And I started watching The Sopranos for story inspiration (since my story has to do with the mob). I'm kinda addicted now. I noticed a lot of similarities between the show and my story. I kinda want to write another story that has to do with the mob now. ;D
I decided to take Monday off from writing, so I just layed around all day and relaxed. I usually go to Kat's every Monday to watch True Blood, but she was busy. And so was everyone else. So I couldn't go out and do anything. It was fun at first. Eating junk food, watching TV, browsing the internet...then it became really boring. Ugh. But I did decide that at some point in the future, I want to attempt a career as a filmmaker and writer (well, I've always wanted to be a writer - nothing new). Most people love actors and actresses. I love directors. David Lynch, Quentin Tarantino, Alfred Hitchcock...just to name a few. And I'd love to make cameos in my films. I'm thinking I'd be into the horror genre more than anything else, but probably try for some science fiction and fantasy type themes too. Also, on a completely un-related topic; I found an awesome gift for my boyfriend (for our one year anniversary). It probably wont arrive on time, because I'm ordering it online, but its so awesome. I'm actually getting one for myself too. Its a Blade Runner comic book! But shhh, don't tell him!
Yesterday was such a long day. I went to the bank to deposit $17 (which I scraped together) to transfer to my PayPal account (for the two Blade Runner comic books). My boyfriend met up with me not long after that. We walked around uptown and ran into a few people. We were gonna go to a video game store, but decided it was too late and too far away. So we just stayed uptown. Somehow we ended up hanging out with Kristian for the entire night, which was awesome. He is an old friend that I met when I was probably about fourteen (my boyfriend also met him around the same time). I hardly see him anymore though.
We kept traveling around to sit in different places. I don't even really know why. But we had some hilarious conversations. A lot of looking back on memories. So much nostalgia. We've all changed so much. Kristian is definitely one of those people that is the life of the party. Loud, wild, funny...oh my fuck, what a night. The funniest thing was "You're pretty!" and "I love you!", which were personal jokes about how Kristian gets awkward when hitting on women (even though he really doesn't). We were gonna go to the hookah bar, but it was closed. So we somehow ended up going to an actual bar. I tried Jack Daniels and orange juice...which is a weird combination, but didn't taste bad.
A little...episode happened at the bar. Kristian was telling us a funny story and he talks with his hands (which I can relate to) and he clapped his hands together, causing his glass to shatter and the beer to go flying everywhere. Mostly all over me. The bartender knew we weren't drunk and we weren't causing a problem, so he just cleaned up the mess and Kristian apologized. It was kinda funny though. Besides the fact that I smelled like a brewery.
We sat on the deck after that, which was good for my boyfriend and I (since we're smokers). But it started raining and I was getting really tired. So the guys walked me home, then went off on a journey (apparently they seen a fight outside Subway, visited a friend at her work and got high at Kristian's house). I watched the new Pretty Little Liars episode and caught up on The Colbert Report before I passed out.
I've been feeling awful anxiety since I woke up. I haven't really gotten out of bed to do anything. Hell, I don't wanna do anything. I gotta leave around 6:30 pm though, because I'm suppose to meet up with Kara at 7:30 pm. Even though I don't wanna go out, I'm gonna suffer through it, because I haven't seen her in a while. I hope I don't have a panic attack. :/
P.S. I know the writing in this blog isn't great. I rushed through it. Sorry.
I'm a huge slacker and I apologize for not blogging for over a week. I've been really busy. I'll explain a little better; with all the free time I've had, I've been writing my story. I've been so inspired and I have a lot of readers now, so I feel the pressure to keep getting chapters posted. Its a little annoying, because I don't wanna write the story for anyone else. Its for me. But so far, I've been staying true to myself. Yay! :)
So the day after I wrote my last blog...hmm...I'm having a hard time remembering. My mental issues cause bad memory and my pills cause bad memory, so my memory is pretty fried now. But I'm gonna try my best. So anyways, last Wednesday I blew off most of Idol to go to my friend's going away party. I don't see him a whole lot, but his name is Corey. He is leaving for Alberta, because of a job out there (I think he already left).
So to begin the story; my boyfriend and I went to Idol for about a half an hour and spoke with a few people while we waited for our drive (Kat and Adam - they went swimming). So finally they called us and said they were coming to pick us up in front of the city hall (which was across the street). So we jumped into their car while it was still moving. Slightly scary, and I ended up bumping my head off the top of the car.
We had to stop at my boyfriend's house so that he could get his beer and rum, then we dropped the car off at Adam's old house. We only had to walk for a few minutes to get to the party. It was in the backyard of Corey's parent's house...I think. There was a bonfire and some awesome music. Everyone was drinking. I knew everyone, except for Corey's family members. It was an awesome time. Lots of talking and laughs. Looking back on the good times.
Halfway through the party, my boyfriend and Kat left to get smokes. A few minutes later, Corey told everyone they had to leave. I was getting up to go, then Corey and Adam told me to stay. After everyone was gone, Corey told us that he just wanted a few close friends instead of a big party. Made us feel pretty special. So we just ate chips and continued hanging out for a little while.
We decided to go to Corey's apartment after a while. I was excited about having an actual bathroom to use, instead of peeing behind a bush in the yard. It took us a while to get there, because we were so drunk. Halfway there, we ran into Garnet, Shayne and Alicia, so we invited them to come along. Corey was throwing carrots at everyone for some reason. I don't even know where he got the carrots, but it was funny. I actually wanted to eat some, so he gave me the rest of them. Then we ran into Paul, Greg and a couple others. Paul lives with Corey, so that wasn't a huge shocker.
My mind is a little fuzzy, but I remember that Jenn, Matt and Sean showed up at some point. We spent some time in the living room, but then some dumb drama between the guys erupted, so a small group went into Corey's room. We were watching Family Guy and talking about random shit. I don't even remember that well. I remember that Corey gave me his Sunseeker poster. I'm gonna miss that hilarious fucker. I hate when people move away.
After the drama died down, we went into the kitchen. We had a hilarious conversation with Sean about being gay. My boyfriend is bisexual and Sean doesn't understand gay people (he doesn't hate them, he just doesn't understand), so he was asking my boyfriend a lot of questions. He seemed to understand better by the end of it. He asked my boyfriend "in the least gayest way possible, just say I walk into a bar or something and you see me for the first time, what is your first thought?" and my boyfriend replied by saying "good looking guy" and Sean nodded in approval. Then he said "I was expecting something like 'mmm you're tasty'" and we all laughed. It was one of the best moments of the night.
I remember that we were head banging for a while, Sean wouldn't put a shirt on, there was a push up competition, Alicia got drunk (which made me and my boyfriend happy, because she is the best drunk ever), Kat and Adam left, a few others left, we were singing along to awesome songs, we discussed my story a little bit, then my boyfriend felt sick and we left. We sat in the square for a while to get fresh air, then we walked to the school nearby and I called a taxi. I got a little too drunk and I remember that I felt so sick when I got home. I was leaning over my bed with a bucket.
I felt like absolute shit the next morning, and I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. He was a half an hour late and I felt like I was gonna puke the entire time I was there. I wanted to leave as soon as possible, but he wanted to talk to me to see how I was doing. Plus I needed a new prescription. Same pills, but he added something to it. A pill that will instantly calm me down if I start having a panic attack. Only for emergencies.
Afterwards, I went walking through the mall and decided to buy some books. There was a sale (three classic books for ten dollars) and I couldn't pass it up. Plus I found another book that interested me. I was intrigued by the summary and the first page. It has to do with the apocalypse and if you know me, you know that I love anything apocalypse-based. So anyways, I also grabbed a bagel on my way home, and stopped at two stores to look around. Didn't find anything though.
I drank lots of water when I got home and made lots of food. I felt better after a few hours. Which was great, because my boyfriend and I had a date planned for later that night and I didn't wanna cancel. So we met up sorta late in the evening. We went to the mall to kill time, like we usually do. I bought a few munchies before we left, then we went to the theatre and seen We're The Millers, which was so fucking hilarious. One of the best comedy movies ever. I couldn't stop laughing. I definitely recommend it! He came to my house for a little while after that. We were both so tired and I don't even remember what happened, but I think we just talked and cuddled. :D
On Friday, I'm pretty sure that I just did a lot of writing. I don't remember doing anything else. It takes so long to write a chapter. Its quite exhausting. I also updated a lot of stuff on the homepage for my story. Its more organized now. I'm pretty sure it was chapter four that I wrote that day and I had to write a sex scene, which is one of the most difficult things to write. I was told that I did good, so I'm happy about that. It sure was interesting. I also enjoyed lots of rainbow sherbet that day, because my mother finally took all the stuff off the top of the freezer so that I could get some of my food. :P
On Saturday, I did more writing. I wrote two chapters and decided to wait till Sunday to edit them. I decided to make a fan page on Facebook for my story, so that people who are reading it can get updates (click here!). I also decided to do my first video blog, so that people who have never met me offline, can see what my personality is like. The audio quality isn't the best. My digital camera wasn't working, so I had to use my webcam. Enjoy seventeen minutes of awkwardness, LOL! :P
So Sunday...was a really stressful day. I had to edit the two chapters I wrote previously and it took all day. It was exhausting. But I'm happy with the results. My boyfriend is pretty much my editor now. He read them before I posted them, to make sure they were alright. I got good feedback so far. I wish I got more. People keep telling me they love my story, but they usually don't elaborate further. Anyways, I also watched Breaking Amish: LA and True Blood, like I usually do every Sunday. And I started watching The Sopranos for story inspiration (since my story has to do with the mob). I'm kinda addicted now. I noticed a lot of similarities between the show and my story. I kinda want to write another story that has to do with the mob now. ;D
I decided to take Monday off from writing, so I just layed around all day and relaxed. I usually go to Kat's every Monday to watch True Blood, but she was busy. And so was everyone else. So I couldn't go out and do anything. It was fun at first. Eating junk food, watching TV, browsing the internet...then it became really boring. Ugh. But I did decide that at some point in the future, I want to attempt a career as a filmmaker and writer (well, I've always wanted to be a writer - nothing new). Most people love actors and actresses. I love directors. David Lynch, Quentin Tarantino, Alfred Hitchcock...just to name a few. And I'd love to make cameos in my films. I'm thinking I'd be into the horror genre more than anything else, but probably try for some science fiction and fantasy type themes too. Also, on a completely un-related topic; I found an awesome gift for my boyfriend (for our one year anniversary). It probably wont arrive on time, because I'm ordering it online, but its so awesome. I'm actually getting one for myself too. Its a Blade Runner comic book! But shhh, don't tell him!
Yesterday was such a long day. I went to the bank to deposit $17 (which I scraped together) to transfer to my PayPal account (for the two Blade Runner comic books). My boyfriend met up with me not long after that. We walked around uptown and ran into a few people. We were gonna go to a video game store, but decided it was too late and too far away. So we just stayed uptown. Somehow we ended up hanging out with Kristian for the entire night, which was awesome. He is an old friend that I met when I was probably about fourteen (my boyfriend also met him around the same time). I hardly see him anymore though.
We kept traveling around to sit in different places. I don't even really know why. But we had some hilarious conversations. A lot of looking back on memories. So much nostalgia. We've all changed so much. Kristian is definitely one of those people that is the life of the party. Loud, wild, funny...oh my fuck, what a night. The funniest thing was "You're pretty!" and "I love you!", which were personal jokes about how Kristian gets awkward when hitting on women (even though he really doesn't). We were gonna go to the hookah bar, but it was closed. So we somehow ended up going to an actual bar. I tried Jack Daniels and orange juice...which is a weird combination, but didn't taste bad.
A little...episode happened at the bar. Kristian was telling us a funny story and he talks with his hands (which I can relate to) and he clapped his hands together, causing his glass to shatter and the beer to go flying everywhere. Mostly all over me. The bartender knew we weren't drunk and we weren't causing a problem, so he just cleaned up the mess and Kristian apologized. It was kinda funny though. Besides the fact that I smelled like a brewery.
We sat on the deck after that, which was good for my boyfriend and I (since we're smokers). But it started raining and I was getting really tired. So the guys walked me home, then went off on a journey (apparently they seen a fight outside Subway, visited a friend at her work and got high at Kristian's house). I watched the new Pretty Little Liars episode and caught up on The Colbert Report before I passed out.
I've been feeling awful anxiety since I woke up. I haven't really gotten out of bed to do anything. Hell, I don't wanna do anything. I gotta leave around 6:30 pm though, because I'm suppose to meet up with Kara at 7:30 pm. Even though I don't wanna go out, I'm gonna suffer through it, because I haven't seen her in a while. I hope I don't have a panic attack. :/
P.S. I know the writing in this blog isn't great. I rushed through it. Sorry.
I'm glad you've been feeling good about writing, I'm curious as to what you're writing about!
ReplyDeleteYour video blog was cute! I've always wanted to do one myself but never had the proper guts to do a proper one.
I'm glad your week has been mostly good, aswell!
I honestly think that instead of saving up for an apartment you should save up for your trips first, after you get an apartment its IMPOSSIBLE to save up for anything. I wish I had done that before having a baby and moving into my own place. a friend of mine randomly woke up one day and bought himself a two way trip to Europe and he's backpacking across the country and staying in hostels for eight weeks. I might be surprising hubby with a trip. next summer :)
ReplyDeleteas for the writing, you needed a break. you went nonstop for almost two weeks, you were bound to run into a stand still eventually. eventually the rest of the story will slowly come together and i'll be reading as you write it! :)