♪♫ Nothing
warning!
This post contains sexual content. Read at your own risk!
Early this morning, I did something that I've been afraid to do for a very long time. Mainly due to my mother being overly religious and homophobic, and having fear that my female friends would look at me differently. But my mother isn't in my life anymore. I cut her out. And I realized that if my friends don't accept me, they were never true friends to begin with. But since my family is in another province and all my friends are hard to reach at times, I simply posted a long Facebook status about it. To put it simply; I'm Pansexual. Google it if you're unsure what it means.
I've had strong feelings for two women, strong feelings for a transsexual, and been in love with a woman. Men too, but that is common knowledge to most people. I've only been in love three times. And I know how controversial that is. Most people say you can't be in love when you're only fifteen. Or that you can only truly fall in love once. I know without a doubt that I've been in love three times, because I still haven't fully gotten over those people. They linger in my thoughts and visit my dreams. I feel a tinge of sadness about losing them from my life. And I wish them happiness, no matter who its with. However, out of those three people, I consider only one person the "one that got away". We never really dated. We were best friends and shared a sexual relationship. But we fell in love. Deeply. And with any good love story; things prevented us from being together. We tried friendship, but it was too painful.
That was a bit off-topic, but yeah...I've known that I was Pansexual since I was fourteen or fifteen, for sure. Before that, I did experience feelings for other girls, but I was confused about them. As early as the age of eleven, I knew that I wasn't completely straight. I remember wrestling with a girl that I was friends with and I got a strange tingly feeling. In other words; I was enjoying it a little too much. So I pushed her off and went home. I'll never forget that moment.
To answer questions people may have; no, I do not have a preference when it comes to gender or lack there of. I've have not had sex with any gender besides male (& I don't need to have sex with several different people to be sure of my sexuality). I have however, kissed several females. My first female kiss was when I was fourteen. A bisexual girl with gorgeous blonde hair, blue eyes and a lot of piercings. Kinda tomboyish. And she lived near me. It was exciting. I remember she just grabbed me and kissed me. And I liked it. A lot. Also, just because I'm Pansexual, doesn't mean I'll fuck anything (or date anything) with legs. I'm picky when it comes to people that I wanna be intimate with. I don't like girly girls. I've always been more into punk-ish type girls. And redheads. Always had a thing for redheads. I've maybe found three blondes attractive in my life. Not my hair color of choice for a girlfriend. I like curvier girls. I like bossy girls. And I like weird girls.
My first real crush on a girl happened when I was fourteen. It went on for a year or so. She was bisexual, but already had a girlfriend (one who cheated on her...couldn't stand the bitch in all honesty). We did make out once. But I never had the nerve to tell her how I felt. And then I ended up dating my first and only girlfriend. I think it only lasted two weeks. And I wasn't even really into the girl. She was crazy and annoying. I eventually ended it. And I never dated another girl again, despite several crushes and feelings that occurred since then. I just haven't found a girl in this city that is what I'm looking for. Hell, I didn't even care much about half the guys I've dated either. But I was young and it was fun for the time.
My ideal woman would be the same height as me. Close to the same weight as me. Long hair. I love long hair. I might have a hair fetish? LOL. Good hygiene is always important to me. Someone who isn't obsessed with drama and gossip. But loves to laugh and joke around. Open-minded. Good sense of humor. Very bossy in bed. I like being dominant sometimes, but I'm usually the submissive one. I'm kinky, therefore my ideal woman would need to be kinky. I wouldn't want a woman who is too into the bar scene. More like someone to become my wife and share a home with me. Have children, pets and share responsibilities. A woman who wouldn't cheat or try to bring anyone into our sex life. I'm not into sharing. At all. And I wouldn't want any "who is the man in your relationship?" bullshit. We're both women, and both equal. No one gets more of a say. Same thing when I'm with a man.
Having said all of that, I'm in a relationship right now. So that is just a "if we break up and I end up dating again" scenario. And the last question I'll cover is; I'm not gonna run out and buy everything covered in rainbows and listen to Tegan and Sara suddenly. No offense to anyone who does. But its not my thing. I'm still the same person I was before, and will always be. I love horror movies, Led Zeppelin and beer. I'm bitchy, sarcastic and weird. My sense of humor is fucked up. I don't like tomatoes or large bodies of water. I'm a cinephile. A dreamer. And an abuse survivor. But hell, that doesn't even cover a fraction of who I am.
Thank you to everyone who is accepting and supporting me. I appreciate it so much. So far, I've had no bad reactions at all. Everyone is proud of me. And I'm damn proud of myself! ^_^
Also, this is what happens when I tell my friends that I'm Pansexual...
LMAO! They're supportive, obviously. But also enjoying making lighthearted jokes about it, which breaks the ice and makes me feel a lot more comfortable talking about it. :)
This post contains sexual content. Read at your own risk!
Early this morning, I did something that I've been afraid to do for a very long time. Mainly due to my mother being overly religious and homophobic, and having fear that my female friends would look at me differently. But my mother isn't in my life anymore. I cut her out. And I realized that if my friends don't accept me, they were never true friends to begin with. But since my family is in another province and all my friends are hard to reach at times, I simply posted a long Facebook status about it. To put it simply; I'm Pansexual. Google it if you're unsure what it means.
I've had strong feelings for two women, strong feelings for a transsexual, and been in love with a woman. Men too, but that is common knowledge to most people. I've only been in love three times. And I know how controversial that is. Most people say you can't be in love when you're only fifteen. Or that you can only truly fall in love once. I know without a doubt that I've been in love three times, because I still haven't fully gotten over those people. They linger in my thoughts and visit my dreams. I feel a tinge of sadness about losing them from my life. And I wish them happiness, no matter who its with. However, out of those three people, I consider only one person the "one that got away". We never really dated. We were best friends and shared a sexual relationship. But we fell in love. Deeply. And with any good love story; things prevented us from being together. We tried friendship, but it was too painful.
That was a bit off-topic, but yeah...I've known that I was Pansexual since I was fourteen or fifteen, for sure. Before that, I did experience feelings for other girls, but I was confused about them. As early as the age of eleven, I knew that I wasn't completely straight. I remember wrestling with a girl that I was friends with and I got a strange tingly feeling. In other words; I was enjoying it a little too much. So I pushed her off and went home. I'll never forget that moment.
To answer questions people may have; no, I do not have a preference when it comes to gender or lack there of. I've have not had sex with any gender besides male (& I don't need to have sex with several different people to be sure of my sexuality). I have however, kissed several females. My first female kiss was when I was fourteen. A bisexual girl with gorgeous blonde hair, blue eyes and a lot of piercings. Kinda tomboyish. And she lived near me. It was exciting. I remember she just grabbed me and kissed me. And I liked it. A lot. Also, just because I'm Pansexual, doesn't mean I'll fuck anything (or date anything) with legs. I'm picky when it comes to people that I wanna be intimate with. I don't like girly girls. I've always been more into punk-ish type girls. And redheads. Always had a thing for redheads. I've maybe found three blondes attractive in my life. Not my hair color of choice for a girlfriend. I like curvier girls. I like bossy girls. And I like weird girls.
My first real crush on a girl happened when I was fourteen. It went on for a year or so. She was bisexual, but already had a girlfriend (one who cheated on her...couldn't stand the bitch in all honesty). We did make out once. But I never had the nerve to tell her how I felt. And then I ended up dating my first and only girlfriend. I think it only lasted two weeks. And I wasn't even really into the girl. She was crazy and annoying. I eventually ended it. And I never dated another girl again, despite several crushes and feelings that occurred since then. I just haven't found a girl in this city that is what I'm looking for. Hell, I didn't even care much about half the guys I've dated either. But I was young and it was fun for the time.
My ideal woman would be the same height as me. Close to the same weight as me. Long hair. I love long hair. I might have a hair fetish? LOL. Good hygiene is always important to me. Someone who isn't obsessed with drama and gossip. But loves to laugh and joke around. Open-minded. Good sense of humor. Very bossy in bed. I like being dominant sometimes, but I'm usually the submissive one. I'm kinky, therefore my ideal woman would need to be kinky. I wouldn't want a woman who is too into the bar scene. More like someone to become my wife and share a home with me. Have children, pets and share responsibilities. A woman who wouldn't cheat or try to bring anyone into our sex life. I'm not into sharing. At all. And I wouldn't want any "who is the man in your relationship?" bullshit. We're both women, and both equal. No one gets more of a say. Same thing when I'm with a man.
Having said all of that, I'm in a relationship right now. So that is just a "if we break up and I end up dating again" scenario. And the last question I'll cover is; I'm not gonna run out and buy everything covered in rainbows and listen to Tegan and Sara suddenly. No offense to anyone who does. But its not my thing. I'm still the same person I was before, and will always be. I love horror movies, Led Zeppelin and beer. I'm bitchy, sarcastic and weird. My sense of humor is fucked up. I don't like tomatoes or large bodies of water. I'm a cinephile. A dreamer. And an abuse survivor. But hell, that doesn't even cover a fraction of who I am.
Thank you to everyone who is accepting and supporting me. I appreciate it so much. So far, I've had no bad reactions at all. Everyone is proud of me. And I'm damn proud of myself! ^_^
Also, this is what happens when I tell my friends that I'm Pansexual...
LMAO! They're supportive, obviously. But also enjoying making lighthearted jokes about it, which breaks the ice and makes me feel a lot more comfortable talking about it. :)
This is really late but thanks for dropping by my blog! I think its okay to like whoever you want as long as your feelings are true. ^_^
ReplyDeleteThis is incredibly brave of you, well done honey <3 I think myself as pansexual/bisexual, but don't really put too much thought into it. I'm happy that you've found an identity which you're comfortable with :) and the tamagotchi is a Tamagotchi P's! There is loads on eBay :D
ReplyDeleteIt takes strength and courage to open yourself to others and show them who you really are. Good for you for coming out, very well done! :) I'm glad to hear that people around you seem to be decent people about it too! *hugs*
ReplyDelete