♪♫ Blinded By The Light - Manfred Mann's Earth Band
Not even an hour after writing my last blog, I went on Facebook and seen a bunch of pictures of my 'best friends' partying without me. I was so pissed. They were with BJ too! I felt like they picked him over me, so I freaked out and they felt bad. So they invited me to the bar to make up for it. I agreed, quickly got ready, and invited Matt to come along. Thankfully he agreed...but took forever to show up. At least he was kind enough to buy me smokes. I was having anxiety about seeing BJ for the first time since our break up. :/
We met up with them at Subway. They were pretty drunk. Especially BJ. He ran towards me and hugged me for a few minutes. He told me that he was happy to see me. And surprisingly it wasn't awkward. I felt like we were best friends again. So anyways, everyone besides Matt and I were hungry, so we all went into Subway. BJ offered to buy me a sub, but I declined. I haven't had much of an appetite lately. I think its my antibiotics or something. I don't know. But its annoying. D:
We went to the bar after that. It was a bar I've never been to before. And there was a cover charge. BJ was nice enough to pay for all of us. And once we got inside, we got a ticket for a free drink. I got a bottle of Molson Canadian. Yum! Then I realized something; a bunch of our friends were there...because it was Garnet's birthday. I felt bad for forgetting. But I made up for it with a birthday hug and saying 'happy birthday' to him. Then I left him to talk with his other friends. I wasn't a fan of the bar to be honest. Too many people dancing like idiots to loud shitty pop music, and I had to yell everything I said. :(
I mostly spent my night with Matt, Missy and BJ. We had some great conversations. Missy and I were drunk and making sexual jokes about each other; something about us being lesbians, banging in the bathroom and I sat in her lap several times. And I remember saying 'I wanna feel your arm nipples' for some reason, lmao. Weird as hell. Oh and Matt was upset for some reason. I think its because I let it slip that I've been flirting around. But I'm single and having fun. He has no right to get mad! -_-
I wanted to clear things up with BJ and I, so we went and sat outside. We admitted that we weren't attracted to each other. We were in denial. And we're just gonna be best friends again. I was so happy that it worked out. And he gave me his 'blessing' to be with Matt. Not sure if that is happening or not though. Then he got me to bring Matt outside and we all talked. Poor Matt looked so uncomfortable. I felt bad. :P
Matt eventually walked my drunk ass home, lmao. He always takes me home when I get too drunk. But this time, I invited him inside. He agreed. So I continued drinking, which was a bad idea. And I kept showing Matt random stuff in my room. Then we somehow ended up cuddling and holding hands for hours on my bed (until 6:00 am to be exact). It was really comfy. He kept playing with my hair. It felt so nice. I'm just scared to take anything further, because I don't want it to be a rebound. I'm also scared of being in love. I get hurt a lot.
I felt nauseous as soon as I woke up today. I tried telling myself it would go away. I relaxed and drank water. But it didn't work...so I ran to the bathroom and ended up puking five times in the garbage can. Ugh. Fucking hangover. I told my mum it was food poisoning because I didn't wanna tell her that I drank again. Ugh. Anyways, she made me a huge meal of breakfast foods; toast, eggs, sausages, a waffle and maple syrup. It was so amazing. I felt so much better after that. :D
Other than that, I haven't done anything interesting today. I've just sat around, feeling bored. Although...my feelings for the guy I mentioned in my last blog (which clearly is Matt if you can't tell...) have gotten...really intense now. I can't stop thinking about him. I don't think I've ever experienced this feeling before. Its somewhat frightening. O.o
Not even an hour after writing my last blog, I went on Facebook and seen a bunch of pictures of my 'best friends' partying without me. I was so pissed. They were with BJ too! I felt like they picked him over me, so I freaked out and they felt bad. So they invited me to the bar to make up for it. I agreed, quickly got ready, and invited Matt to come along. Thankfully he agreed...but took forever to show up. At least he was kind enough to buy me smokes. I was having anxiety about seeing BJ for the first time since our break up. :/
We met up with them at Subway. They were pretty drunk. Especially BJ. He ran towards me and hugged me for a few minutes. He told me that he was happy to see me. And surprisingly it wasn't awkward. I felt like we were best friends again. So anyways, everyone besides Matt and I were hungry, so we all went into Subway. BJ offered to buy me a sub, but I declined. I haven't had much of an appetite lately. I think its my antibiotics or something. I don't know. But its annoying. D:
We went to the bar after that. It was a bar I've never been to before. And there was a cover charge. BJ was nice enough to pay for all of us. And once we got inside, we got a ticket for a free drink. I got a bottle of Molson Canadian. Yum! Then I realized something; a bunch of our friends were there...because it was Garnet's birthday. I felt bad for forgetting. But I made up for it with a birthday hug and saying 'happy birthday' to him. Then I left him to talk with his other friends. I wasn't a fan of the bar to be honest. Too many people dancing like idiots to loud shitty pop music, and I had to yell everything I said. :(
I mostly spent my night with Matt, Missy and BJ. We had some great conversations. Missy and I were drunk and making sexual jokes about each other; something about us being lesbians, banging in the bathroom and I sat in her lap several times. And I remember saying 'I wanna feel your arm nipples' for some reason, lmao. Weird as hell. Oh and Matt was upset for some reason. I think its because I let it slip that I've been flirting around. But I'm single and having fun. He has no right to get mad! -_-
I wanted to clear things up with BJ and I, so we went and sat outside. We admitted that we weren't attracted to each other. We were in denial. And we're just gonna be best friends again. I was so happy that it worked out. And he gave me his 'blessing' to be with Matt. Not sure if that is happening or not though. Then he got me to bring Matt outside and we all talked. Poor Matt looked so uncomfortable. I felt bad. :P
Matt eventually walked my drunk ass home, lmao. He always takes me home when I get too drunk. But this time, I invited him inside. He agreed. So I continued drinking, which was a bad idea. And I kept showing Matt random stuff in my room. Then we somehow ended up cuddling and holding hands for hours on my bed (until 6:00 am to be exact). It was really comfy. He kept playing with my hair. It felt so nice. I'm just scared to take anything further, because I don't want it to be a rebound. I'm also scared of being in love. I get hurt a lot.
I felt nauseous as soon as I woke up today. I tried telling myself it would go away. I relaxed and drank water. But it didn't work...so I ran to the bathroom and ended up puking five times in the garbage can. Ugh. Fucking hangover. I told my mum it was food poisoning because I didn't wanna tell her that I drank again. Ugh. Anyways, she made me a huge meal of breakfast foods; toast, eggs, sausages, a waffle and maple syrup. It was so amazing. I felt so much better after that. :D
Other than that, I haven't done anything interesting today. I've just sat around, feeling bored. Although...my feelings for the guy I mentioned in my last blog (which clearly is Matt if you can't tell...) have gotten...really intense now. I can't stop thinking about him. I don't think I've ever experienced this feeling before. Its somewhat frightening. O.o
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