♪♫ Evolution - Korn
Well, Tuesday was a pretty...interesting day. I actually woke up early and got ready in time to be picked up by Kat and Adam (to go to Alice's first birthday!). My boyfriend was also in the car. It was a little awkward because I was still mad at him, so I kept pushing him away from me. Anyways, we went to the mall and got Alice's birthday cake. I'm kinda jealous because it was an ice cream cake and they are my favorite. My boyfriend and I got some ice cream while we waited for the slack people at Dairy Queen to write "Happy birthday Alice" on the cake.
We stopped for cigarettes after leaving the mall, then headed to the party (being held at Kat's brother's house). We were a few hours early, because apparently we were the decorating/preparation crew. All I did was blow up the balloons. My boyfriend helped with cooking (& Kat's dad kept calling him his 'cook'). I don't know what everyone else did. I kept avoiding my boyfriend. I felt bad, but I didn't wanna be around him. Oh and there was a pretty hilarious silly string war. I wasn't involved, but it was fun to watch. Kat got it the worst, haha.
I don't remember exactly what time it was, but Kat's aunt brought Alice to her party. She looked so cute! Pretty much everyone had shown up at that point (except for Kat's mom, who was late). I was kinda awkward and just stood around. I was too distracted by my frustration, caused by my boyfriend. It felt like I wasn't even there most of the time. I was off in my own world.
Kat's mom finally showed up and the food was prepared not long after that. There were tons of burgers, hot dogs, steak, fries, chips, etc. I didn't eat anything though. My frustration turned into depression and I don't eat when I'm depressed. I really wanted to go home and sleep. Even though...I really did miss Kat's family. I used to live with her and I got to know most of them. They became like a second family to me. And my fuck...a lot of them have grown up so much. Especially her niece. I think she was twelve when I last seen her. Now she is fifteen. Rebelling against her parents by; smoking weed, smoking cigarettes, drinking, not going to school, etc. But hell...I did all that shit when I was fourteen. I can't say anything.
My boyfriend and I went outside to talk about our problems after almost everyone was finished eating. The conversation didn't really go anywhere. We couldn't think of a solution. I kept trying to get him to admit that we had no passion or sexual chemistry, but he denied it. He kept saying that we just had to do it and it would be fine. But that sounds very forced to me. I think those things come naturally and I wouldn't have to wait this long if they were present in our relationship. Ugh.
We went back inside for singing "happy birthday" to Alice and watching her blow out the candle on her cake (her aunt actually blew it out - because Alice is only a year old). She actually had two cakes. One was an ice cream cake and one was a pound cake. So they decided to give everyone a piece of both. Yum! I actually decided to eat at that point. Its hard to say no to cake. But my stupid plastic fork kept breaking and the pieces of plastic would get stick inside the cake. Why is my luck so shitty!?
They started opening Alice's birthday presents not long after that. She got so much stuff! She even got her own tablet for games and watching cartoons! That is nuts! What a spoiled little cutiepie. My boyfriend and I got her a card and a $25 gift card for Toys R Us (which was apparently used to buy her a baby couch). I kept trying to get a picture of her, but she moves her head so quickly. I only got one that turned out alright. She isn't facing the camera, but oh well. Her aunt Missy is on the left and her mother Kat is on the right...
Alice started getting really tired and cranky after that, so people began cleaning up and heading out. I was supposed to get a drive back with Kat and Adam, but they had too many things to fit in the car. So Kat got her mom to agree to drive my boyfriend and I. We said our goodbyes to everyone first though. Then we got her to drop us off at Wal-Mart (which is apparently a 'super centre' now), because I needed a Xbox 360 controller (since my boyfriend didn't give me one with the Xbox 360 he gave me). I got the controller, but I also got a Halloween music CD, Grand Theft Auto IV and a bag of cheesies. Wooo! I wanted to get The Goonies on DVD, but it was only on Blu-Ray. Ahhh. -_-
Most of my frustration and depression went away after that. I let him kiss me and hold my hand. And I felt sparks from the kiss. But I don't understand why he doesn't kiss me like that all the time. That is what I want. If he continues doing that, I'll be happy. If not, we'll have a serious problem.
Anyways, we went to the grocery store afterwards. I got Tostitos and cheese dip, fuck yeah! Then we caught a bus to go uptown (where I live). On our way to my house, we stopped at Julius and I got some chili to take home for dinner. Yay! His mom came and picked him up not long after that. There was barely a shred of negative feelings towards him by the end of the night. I'm still waiting for more passion though. But yeah...my night ended pretty greatly. I munched out and watched TV until I passed out (which took a while...).
Today I woke up late, got some left over pizza for breakfast and went to the bank for my appointment (for a tax free savings account). It went well. I headed to the bus stop after that and I ended up running into Kaley. We talked for twenty minutes. She reminded me that we met at Jordon's funeral and that on the 11th (I can't remember which month - either June or July), it will be our five year anniversary, haha.
I caught a bus before I could finish my conversation with her. It showed up early. And it was packed with high school kids. I forgot that school was back. Ugh. But I made it to my boyfriend's house anyways. We had a couple smokes with his mom, then she drove us to the mall. He had to get some school supplies at his work, which didn't take long. Then we looked around a few stores. Nothing too interesting though.
We headed to the plaza after that. We went into the dollar store, because I just love looking at their Halloween stuff. Its not all in yet, but I always buy a few things every year. Halloween is definitely my favorite holiday. I've got a lot planned for this year. I wanna dress up as Alex Delarge from A Clockwork Orange, bake Halloween cupcakes, have a horror movie marathon, get drunk and lots more! Also, I seen something that made me laugh a bit. A box on top of a shelf in the dollar store that said "severed arms", haha. I'm so morbid...
I had to get groceries afterwards. I ended up spending all my money and now I have $1.40 left. I was supposed to have $25 left. Oh well. I'll manage somehow. At least I got lots of yummy food! And my boyfriend's mom picked us up, so I didn't have to drag everything onto a bus. She stopped at the Subway near my house so that my boyfriend and I could get something to eat. I got a breakfast sandwich again. They are sooo addicting! But since she was waiting for us, we got our food to go. We finally got to my house and my boyfriend helped me bring my groceries up the stairs, then kissed me goodbye.
I relaxed for a while after I unpacked my groceries and put them away. Then I tried testing out my Xbox 360. It works great! Except the cord is all fucked up and I need a new one. So my boyfriend is gonna pick one up for me. Yay! I hope nothing else goes wrong. I really wanna play my Xbox 360! I'm tired of waiting! Ahhhh. :(
I cleaned and organized my room after giving up on the Xbox 360. It took so long and I was beyond exhausted by the end of it. But it looks great now. I'm very happy with it. Now I'm just gonna relax and watch TV in bed. Maybe have a snack.
Happy birthday Jordon!
You aren't with us anymore. But today would have been your birthday. I miss you so much. Rest in peace. ♥
Well, Tuesday was a pretty...interesting day. I actually woke up early and got ready in time to be picked up by Kat and Adam (to go to Alice's first birthday!). My boyfriend was also in the car. It was a little awkward because I was still mad at him, so I kept pushing him away from me. Anyways, we went to the mall and got Alice's birthday cake. I'm kinda jealous because it was an ice cream cake and they are my favorite. My boyfriend and I got some ice cream while we waited for the slack people at Dairy Queen to write "Happy birthday Alice" on the cake.
We stopped for cigarettes after leaving the mall, then headed to the party (being held at Kat's brother's house). We were a few hours early, because apparently we were the decorating/preparation crew. All I did was blow up the balloons. My boyfriend helped with cooking (& Kat's dad kept calling him his 'cook'). I don't know what everyone else did. I kept avoiding my boyfriend. I felt bad, but I didn't wanna be around him. Oh and there was a pretty hilarious silly string war. I wasn't involved, but it was fun to watch. Kat got it the worst, haha.
I don't remember exactly what time it was, but Kat's aunt brought Alice to her party. She looked so cute! Pretty much everyone had shown up at that point (except for Kat's mom, who was late). I was kinda awkward and just stood around. I was too distracted by my frustration, caused by my boyfriend. It felt like I wasn't even there most of the time. I was off in my own world.
Kat's mom finally showed up and the food was prepared not long after that. There were tons of burgers, hot dogs, steak, fries, chips, etc. I didn't eat anything though. My frustration turned into depression and I don't eat when I'm depressed. I really wanted to go home and sleep. Even though...I really did miss Kat's family. I used to live with her and I got to know most of them. They became like a second family to me. And my fuck...a lot of them have grown up so much. Especially her niece. I think she was twelve when I last seen her. Now she is fifteen. Rebelling against her parents by; smoking weed, smoking cigarettes, drinking, not going to school, etc. But hell...I did all that shit when I was fourteen. I can't say anything.
My boyfriend and I went outside to talk about our problems after almost everyone was finished eating. The conversation didn't really go anywhere. We couldn't think of a solution. I kept trying to get him to admit that we had no passion or sexual chemistry, but he denied it. He kept saying that we just had to do it and it would be fine. But that sounds very forced to me. I think those things come naturally and I wouldn't have to wait this long if they were present in our relationship. Ugh.
We went back inside for singing "happy birthday" to Alice and watching her blow out the candle on her cake (her aunt actually blew it out - because Alice is only a year old). She actually had two cakes. One was an ice cream cake and one was a pound cake. So they decided to give everyone a piece of both. Yum! I actually decided to eat at that point. Its hard to say no to cake. But my stupid plastic fork kept breaking and the pieces of plastic would get stick inside the cake. Why is my luck so shitty!?
They started opening Alice's birthday presents not long after that. She got so much stuff! She even got her own tablet for games and watching cartoons! That is nuts! What a spoiled little cutiepie. My boyfriend and I got her a card and a $25 gift card for Toys R Us (which was apparently used to buy her a baby couch). I kept trying to get a picture of her, but she moves her head so quickly. I only got one that turned out alright. She isn't facing the camera, but oh well. Her aunt Missy is on the left and her mother Kat is on the right...
Alice started getting really tired and cranky after that, so people began cleaning up and heading out. I was supposed to get a drive back with Kat and Adam, but they had too many things to fit in the car. So Kat got her mom to agree to drive my boyfriend and I. We said our goodbyes to everyone first though. Then we got her to drop us off at Wal-Mart (which is apparently a 'super centre' now), because I needed a Xbox 360 controller (since my boyfriend didn't give me one with the Xbox 360 he gave me). I got the controller, but I also got a Halloween music CD, Grand Theft Auto IV and a bag of cheesies. Wooo! I wanted to get The Goonies on DVD, but it was only on Blu-Ray. Ahhh. -_-
Most of my frustration and depression went away after that. I let him kiss me and hold my hand. And I felt sparks from the kiss. But I don't understand why he doesn't kiss me like that all the time. That is what I want. If he continues doing that, I'll be happy. If not, we'll have a serious problem.
Anyways, we went to the grocery store afterwards. I got Tostitos and cheese dip, fuck yeah! Then we caught a bus to go uptown (where I live). On our way to my house, we stopped at Julius and I got some chili to take home for dinner. Yay! His mom came and picked him up not long after that. There was barely a shred of negative feelings towards him by the end of the night. I'm still waiting for more passion though. But yeah...my night ended pretty greatly. I munched out and watched TV until I passed out (which took a while...).
Today I woke up late, got some left over pizza for breakfast and went to the bank for my appointment (for a tax free savings account). It went well. I headed to the bus stop after that and I ended up running into Kaley. We talked for twenty minutes. She reminded me that we met at Jordon's funeral and that on the 11th (I can't remember which month - either June or July), it will be our five year anniversary, haha.
I caught a bus before I could finish my conversation with her. It showed up early. And it was packed with high school kids. I forgot that school was back. Ugh. But I made it to my boyfriend's house anyways. We had a couple smokes with his mom, then she drove us to the mall. He had to get some school supplies at his work, which didn't take long. Then we looked around a few stores. Nothing too interesting though.
We headed to the plaza after that. We went into the dollar store, because I just love looking at their Halloween stuff. Its not all in yet, but I always buy a few things every year. Halloween is definitely my favorite holiday. I've got a lot planned for this year. I wanna dress up as Alex Delarge from A Clockwork Orange, bake Halloween cupcakes, have a horror movie marathon, get drunk and lots more! Also, I seen something that made me laugh a bit. A box on top of a shelf in the dollar store that said "severed arms", haha. I'm so morbid...
I had to get groceries afterwards. I ended up spending all my money and now I have $1.40 left. I was supposed to have $25 left. Oh well. I'll manage somehow. At least I got lots of yummy food! And my boyfriend's mom picked us up, so I didn't have to drag everything onto a bus. She stopped at the Subway near my house so that my boyfriend and I could get something to eat. I got a breakfast sandwich again. They are sooo addicting! But since she was waiting for us, we got our food to go. We finally got to my house and my boyfriend helped me bring my groceries up the stairs, then kissed me goodbye.
I relaxed for a while after I unpacked my groceries and put them away. Then I tried testing out my Xbox 360. It works great! Except the cord is all fucked up and I need a new one. So my boyfriend is gonna pick one up for me. Yay! I hope nothing else goes wrong. I really wanna play my Xbox 360! I'm tired of waiting! Ahhhh. :(
I cleaned and organized my room after giving up on the Xbox 360. It took so long and I was beyond exhausted by the end of it. But it looks great now. I'm very happy with it. Now I'm just gonna relax and watch TV in bed. Maybe have a snack.
You aren't with us anymore. But today would have been your birthday. I miss you so much. Rest in peace. ♥
I used to have the same problem with hubby. It was all passion and sparks at first then it went away. But after a while it came back. Once you get to a year it becomes more difficult to hold it together. we learned to love each others annoying qwerks. it just takes patience. You met Kaley June 11th btw :)
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