in the light you will find the road

♪♫ In The Light - Led Zeppelin

The past five days have been very boring. I've barely left my house for two reasons; my agoraphobia, and the fact that my city is scary as hell now (I'll explain later in this blog). I've become a hermit. And that makes me nervous. I don't want to become depressed again. :/

Friday: It was pouring rain outside. Kinda gave me a depressed feeling. I had no energy to do much of anything. It was also the first day I had to start taking eight pills a day (previously it was seven). I really fucking hate them. Ugh. Anyways, I mostly spent my day eating Halloween candy, working on this blog (yes, I went back to my old theme...), and working on my side blog. I'm still not done with my side blog. I'm unsure of what more to do with it. And I'm working on a Christmas theme for this blog. Oh and I got kinda silly with a pair of pumpkin holographic glasses that my grandmother sent me last month. I was bored, LOL! At least I got to watch the Halloween special of Ghost Adventures (it took place in Transylvania!). ;D


Saturday: I woke up from a romantic dream about Chandler from Friends. Hmmm. Interesting. Once again, I had no energy and didn't do a whole lot. I cancelled plans with my friends. I used the excuse that I was sick...but its really because of my anxiety. I was too embarrassed to admit that. Anyways, some bad news was revealed around dinnertime. I think I mentioned this before; there was a girl named Gen who went missing a month ago. Well...they found her body. And it wasn't even in town either. Everyone is devastated right now. Her brother made it clear that it wasn't suicide, but there has been no official report on what happened yet. But I think he is right. The circumstances point towards murder. And that made me feel nauseous. But I decided to push that thought aside and say; Gen, I didn't know you well, but I remember meeting you on a camping trip. I was around a group of people I didn't know and was having anxiety. You sat with me and made me feel better. You had such a charming way about you. So easy to talk to. I knew I could trust you instantly. You are loved and missed by so many. Rest in peace beautiful angel. ♥


I was feeling pretty awful. More so for her family and her close friends. The ones who are suffering severely right now. I wish I could help them all. I really do. Its heartbreaking. Anyways, BJ brought me Pepto Bismol (for my nausea), and chilli to cheer me up. He didn't stay long though. He was going out with our friends (the plans I cancelled). I wish I could get out more. But every woman in my city is terrified because they think a rapist and/or murderer is on the loose. D:

Sunday: I woke up from another dream about Chandler from Friends. It was similar to the first one. I do find him attractive...but I didn't think I'd dream about him. Its probably because I watch Friends a lot. So anyways, my day was boring again. I decided to change my username on most of my social networking sides to PrincessBedelia. I was sick of using "zeppelingrrl", "thezeppelinqueen", "queenofzeppelin", etc. I still love Led Zeppelin with all my heart, but I wanted something more personal. So to explain better; my great grandmother used to call me princess (before she passed away), and my grandmother calls me Bedelia (after Amelia Bedelia). Oh and I tried to download the Black Lodge game, but I think my netbook doesn't have the proper software to run it. It refused to download. Ugh. I was so frustrated. But my grandmother said she would possibly buy me a laptop when I move out on my own (just a cheap one for $500). I hope I get to play it someday. It looks so fun! ♥


Monday: I got Inland Empire on DVD in the mail! Yay! Anyways, I had to go shopping. I couldn't put it off any longer. I needed groceries, a bus card, hair dye, etc. And even though it was noon and there were lots of people around...I still didn't feel safe going out alone. Plus it was kinda cold out (according to The Weather Network). So I got my friend Matt to come with me. And oh my...we had quite the journey. We had a lot of walking to do. Thankfully it wasn't as cold as I thought it would be. And I got everything I needed for the month! Good thing I had Matt to help me carry everything, because I wouldn't have been able to do it by myself. My favorite things that I bought were; two months worth of blue hair dye, hair dyeing supplies, hair care products, and two video games that I've wanted for a long time (Darksiders and Bayonetta)! I had just enough money for everything too! :D


We were tired and sore by the time we got to my house. I invited Matt to come in, which he did. He just sat and waited while I unpacked everything and put it away. Then we went to Subway to hangout for a little bit. I decided to use up my Subway card by buying twelve cookies. Yum! He walked me home afterwards. I immediately tested out my video games, and both work perfectly. I also tested Inland Empire, which works perfectly as well. In fact, I was so intrigued by the first few minutes of the movie, that I watched the entire thing (it was amazing!). Even though it was around 2:00 am when the movie was finished, I still cleaned my room. It was long overdue. :P

Today: Another boring day, but also somewhat exciting. The $20 went through to my PayPal, so I bought David Lynch: Short Films on DVD and Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me on DVD! Then I made a big decision; I borrowed $225 from my savings account and transferred it to my PayPal. It'll go through next week! My reason for doing this is; so I can buy my birthday and Christmas presents early. I was gonna wait till January, but I wanna have my gifts for the actual days. Its more magical that way. Plus I'm impatient, LOL! I'm gonna pay myself back in December. Its all worked out. :)


Edit at 9:48 pm: I got Black Lodge downloaded and its working perfectly! I guess my computer does have the proper software for it (I still want a new laptop though - having a netbook sucks -_-). Not sure why it wasn't working before. Anyways, its awesome and addicting. My highest score so far is 1050. My goal is to get 5000. I'm done playing for tonight though. I'm exhausted. But if you're interested in playing the game, its free to download here. Also, if you aren't aware; its based on Twin Peaks (the television show & the movie), and its in Atari style. :)


P.S. I'm pretty sure that I'm re-dyeing my hair tomorrow! I using a darker shade of blue this time (Manic Panic's Rockabilly Blue instead of Bad Boy Blue). But I have to re-bleach my hair first (since it didn't bleach well the first time). My boyfriend is gonna help me. Should be fun. ^_^