♪♫ Halloween - Misfits
I didn't get to watch Halloween last night. I got ten minutes into the movie, then my mum came home and started her nightly bitching session. I don't wanna explain the whole conversation, but it basically progressed into me confronting her about abusing me when I was child (like my psychiatrist wanted me to do). And it didn't go well at all. I didn't expect it to. But I was upset. She told me that I was lying for attention, I was delusional, I was a bad child, and I'm over sensitive because I have mental issues. I couldn't believe it. She denied it all. I have witnesses. I know the truth. I'm in therapy because of her. Most of my mental disorders are from the abuse. She destroyed me. And she can't even accept it and apologize. She said that she feels betrayed and doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. I didn't sleep until around 6:00 am, because my anxiety was so bad. :(
I wanted to talk to her after I woke up on Saturday, but she just ignored me. I walked into a room, and she walked out instantly. I was upset and I ended up calling a few people to get reassurance that I'm not in the wrong. I was starting to feel like I might actually be crazy, but my mother is the crazy one. I felt a little bit better. But I felt a lot better after BJ showed up. We went to the other side of town, had some KFC for dinner, and we went to see Carrie! I loved it! Its one of my favorite books. I read it in one night, way back in high school. I couldn't stop. I think its because I relate to Carrie in a way. Anyways, BJ got me home afterwards. My mum still wouldn't speak to me. So I just watched Leprechaun until I fell asleep. But I only got twenty minutes into the movie. I was quite tired.
Today there was a bit of progress. My mum told me that she loved me before leaving for work. And she seemed happy. Like nothing happened at all. To get my mind off of all the bullshit, I spent most of the day watching Tales From The Crypt and making Halloween cupcakes. I made 73 in total! I'm pretty proud of my decorating skills. But wow...I was so exhausted afterwards. Thankfully my step dad cleaned the kitchen without me asking him to (I rewarded him with cupcakes). That saved me some time. So I made some mac 'n cheese and watched Leprechaun (which I loved - even though its cheesy as hell). Once I'm done with this blog, I'm gonna watch The Exorcist. So excited!
I didn't get to watch Halloween last night. I got ten minutes into the movie, then my mum came home and started her nightly bitching session. I don't wanna explain the whole conversation, but it basically progressed into me confronting her about abusing me when I was child (like my psychiatrist wanted me to do). And it didn't go well at all. I didn't expect it to. But I was upset. She told me that I was lying for attention, I was delusional, I was a bad child, and I'm over sensitive because I have mental issues. I couldn't believe it. She denied it all. I have witnesses. I know the truth. I'm in therapy because of her. Most of my mental disorders are from the abuse. She destroyed me. And she can't even accept it and apologize. She said that she feels betrayed and doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. I didn't sleep until around 6:00 am, because my anxiety was so bad. :(
I wanted to talk to her after I woke up on Saturday, but she just ignored me. I walked into a room, and she walked out instantly. I was upset and I ended up calling a few people to get reassurance that I'm not in the wrong. I was starting to feel like I might actually be crazy, but my mother is the crazy one. I felt a little bit better. But I felt a lot better after BJ showed up. We went to the other side of town, had some KFC for dinner, and we went to see Carrie! I loved it! Its one of my favorite books. I read it in one night, way back in high school. I couldn't stop. I think its because I relate to Carrie in a way. Anyways, BJ got me home afterwards. My mum still wouldn't speak to me. So I just watched Leprechaun until I fell asleep. But I only got twenty minutes into the movie. I was quite tired.
Today there was a bit of progress. My mum told me that she loved me before leaving for work. And she seemed happy. Like nothing happened at all. To get my mind off of all the bullshit, I spent most of the day watching Tales From The Crypt and making Halloween cupcakes. I made 73 in total! I'm pretty proud of my decorating skills. But wow...I was so exhausted afterwards. Thankfully my step dad cleaned the kitchen without me asking him to (I rewarded him with cupcakes). That saved me some time. So I made some mac 'n cheese and watched Leprechaun (which I loved - even though its cheesy as hell). Once I'm done with this blog, I'm gonna watch The Exorcist. So excited!
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