♪♫ Human Fly - The Cramps
The day after my last blog was a wonderful day. I went on a date with my boyfriend to a dinner theater. It was his work Christmas party. I had some pretty bad anxiety at first, but it turned out to be awesome. I had roast beef with potatoes for dinner and my boyfriend had chicken stuffed with ham and cheese with potatoes. I also had a few drinks, which got me half drunk and made my anxiety a lot more bearable. We spent a little bit of alone time together after the dinner theater, then he walked me home. :)
The next day, I spent the entire day working on my blog and watching movies. I also came up with a name for my phone. Yes, I name my technology. Is that weird? Oh well...I named my phone Luna. I'm getting my Blackberry Playbook next week, so I need to come up with another name. Also, I told my boyfriend I wanted Arwen's Evenstar necklace. Its $160 plus tax, on the official merchandise site. I told him to buy it for a really special occasion (most likely our one year anniversary). I never usually ask for expensive gifts, but he wanted to buy me expensive jewelry and I love Lord of the Rings. It would make my ten year dream come true of owning the necklace. :D
On Monday, I came up with this Christmas layout, featuring Kermit the frog from A Muppet Christmas Carol. Its my all time favorite Christmas movie. I watched it way too many times when I was a kid. I also relaxed, watched movies and spent time with my boyfriend. He didn't come over for very long. He is really busy with work and school. But it was nice to see him. I wish he could somehow just get a week off from his busy life and spend the entire week with me. I only see him once or twice a week. :(
Tuesday was a stressful day. I went to my appointment for anxiety, which went well. The woman said she would call me back this week. Then I went to see my friends for a while. I ended up finding something out that upset me. A guy that I've had feelings for, for five years...has felt the same way as me...for the same amount of time. He told my friend that I was his dream girl. And I thought I was over him, until I heard that. We never really dated (just a couple weeks of drunken fun), but I've always felt so attracted to him. So I decided to text him and ask him the truth.
It was true. He does. He told me that he tried to ignore the feelings for a long time, but then he couldn't anymore (which is where the two weeks of drunk fun came from). But nothing came from it, because he was dating a girl on and off the entire time. Then we didn't talk for two years, until recently. Anyways, he also told me that he has a hard time controlling himself around me and I was always the one he couldn't stay away from. I told him that I felt the same way. And it was such a relief to get that off my chest after five years.
I honestly believe that I love him. I'm not in love with him, but I love him. And I don't know if the feeling will ever go away. But I will never act upon it. Because I'm in love with my boyfriend and this guy...I may love him, but he has problems and there is too many complications involved. And I told my boyfriend about everything. He was very understanding and happy that I told him the truth. No problems there, thankfully. And he is friends with the guy. Everyone knows that everyone else knows. But we're all choosing to just be friends. I'm really happy that it turned out good. And I'm happy that I can keep the guy in my life as a friend.
I did do a lot of crying that night. I wasn't able to cry for a really long time and I just felt so relieved that I bawled my eyes out. It was both a happy and sad cry. It feels nice to have a good cry every once in a while. My mom cheered me up by buying a pizza for us and some cream soda. I got to relax and watch The Drew Carey Show to get my mind off of everything.
Today (well technically yesterday because its past midnight), I spent the entire day re-arranging furniture, cleaning and organizing my room. I got rid of more stuff, got rid of a shelf (it broke when I tried to move it, so I had to throw it away), found some awesome stuff and whatnot.
my room looks way better!
I just wish that I had a queen size bed instead of a single bed.
the awesome stuff I found!
A version of The Hobbit from the 70's. I'm gonna read it again before I go see the movie, because its been a long time and I barely remember it. And a cute turtle toy turtle that I've decided to name Alfie and two knitted stuffed animals that my mom bought for me; Bert and Rosie. They're a couple. :)
I had a nice relaxing bath after all my hard work. Then I made Kraft Dinner and hot dogs for supper. So my evening ended pretty well. Now I'm gonna go to sleep. I gotta wake up somewhat early tomorrow. But before I go...
happy birthday to my best friend kara!
The day after my last blog was a wonderful day. I went on a date with my boyfriend to a dinner theater. It was his work Christmas party. I had some pretty bad anxiety at first, but it turned out to be awesome. I had roast beef with potatoes for dinner and my boyfriend had chicken stuffed with ham and cheese with potatoes. I also had a few drinks, which got me half drunk and made my anxiety a lot more bearable. We spent a little bit of alone time together after the dinner theater, then he walked me home. :)
The next day, I spent the entire day working on my blog and watching movies. I also came up with a name for my phone. Yes, I name my technology. Is that weird? Oh well...I named my phone Luna. I'm getting my Blackberry Playbook next week, so I need to come up with another name. Also, I told my boyfriend I wanted Arwen's Evenstar necklace. Its $160 plus tax, on the official merchandise site. I told him to buy it for a really special occasion (most likely our one year anniversary). I never usually ask for expensive gifts, but he wanted to buy me expensive jewelry and I love Lord of the Rings. It would make my ten year dream come true of owning the necklace. :D
On Monday, I came up with this Christmas layout, featuring Kermit the frog from A Muppet Christmas Carol. Its my all time favorite Christmas movie. I watched it way too many times when I was a kid. I also relaxed, watched movies and spent time with my boyfriend. He didn't come over for very long. He is really busy with work and school. But it was nice to see him. I wish he could somehow just get a week off from his busy life and spend the entire week with me. I only see him once or twice a week. :(
Tuesday was a stressful day. I went to my appointment for anxiety, which went well. The woman said she would call me back this week. Then I went to see my friends for a while. I ended up finding something out that upset me. A guy that I've had feelings for, for five years...has felt the same way as me...for the same amount of time. He told my friend that I was his dream girl. And I thought I was over him, until I heard that. We never really dated (just a couple weeks of drunken fun), but I've always felt so attracted to him. So I decided to text him and ask him the truth.
It was true. He does. He told me that he tried to ignore the feelings for a long time, but then he couldn't anymore (which is where the two weeks of drunk fun came from). But nothing came from it, because he was dating a girl on and off the entire time. Then we didn't talk for two years, until recently. Anyways, he also told me that he has a hard time controlling himself around me and I was always the one he couldn't stay away from. I told him that I felt the same way. And it was such a relief to get that off my chest after five years.
I honestly believe that I love him. I'm not in love with him, but I love him. And I don't know if the feeling will ever go away. But I will never act upon it. Because I'm in love with my boyfriend and this guy...I may love him, but he has problems and there is too many complications involved. And I told my boyfriend about everything. He was very understanding and happy that I told him the truth. No problems there, thankfully. And he is friends with the guy. Everyone knows that everyone else knows. But we're all choosing to just be friends. I'm really happy that it turned out good. And I'm happy that I can keep the guy in my life as a friend.
I did do a lot of crying that night. I wasn't able to cry for a really long time and I just felt so relieved that I bawled my eyes out. It was both a happy and sad cry. It feels nice to have a good cry every once in a while. My mom cheered me up by buying a pizza for us and some cream soda. I got to relax and watch The Drew Carey Show to get my mind off of everything.
Today (well technically yesterday because its past midnight), I spent the entire day re-arranging furniture, cleaning and organizing my room. I got rid of more stuff, got rid of a shelf (it broke when I tried to move it, so I had to throw it away), found some awesome stuff and whatnot.
I just wish that I had a queen size bed instead of a single bed.
A version of The Hobbit from the 70's. I'm gonna read it again before I go see the movie, because its been a long time and I barely remember it. And a cute turtle toy turtle that I've decided to name Alfie and two knitted stuffed animals that my mom bought for me; Bert and Rosie. They're a couple. :)
I had a nice relaxing bath after all my hard work. Then I made Kraft Dinner and hot dogs for supper. So my evening ended pretty well. Now I'm gonna go to sleep. I gotta wake up somewhat early tomorrow. But before I go...
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