its tearing me down

♪♫ Family Portrait - P!nk

I've had a horrible weekend. My mother has been extremely cranky and keeps taking it out on me. I can't wait for tomorrow. I'm gonna wake up early and take the bus to Megan's. I even have money for smokes and a snack at the store. Its gonna be a chill day and I wont have to deal with any bitching. Gah...I keep asking myself why on earth I ever fucked up my chances to stay in my apartment. Why I ever dropped out of school. Why I ever went on a party spree and landed my ass back in, what I like to call "parent's prison". I'm suffering. The only time I ever feel slightly happy is when they go to work and I'm home alone with the cat. Fuck my life...

The only good thing to come out of this shit weekend, was the awesome dream I had the other night. Its quite long and if you don't wanna read it, just scroll down to the bottom...

It started out with me looking out my bedroom window. All the apartment buildings around mine suddenly turned into beautiful victorian houses. They were colorful and surrounded by tons of flowers. I went outside and walked around the corner, till I got to a large pink house. For some reason, I went inside. There were people everywhere, mostly children. Suddenly it hit me: they were my family. Not the family I have now...kinda like an alternative universe family. I could tell we were a poor family, even though we owned a large house. All the children shared rooms and some of the adults had to sleep on a coach because of the lack of rooms. One of the girls came up to me. She looked like she twelve years old and her style looked a lot like mine when I was her age (tomboyish). I randomly knew her name...Ramona. Then I realized that I knew everyone's name and age. I started smiling and greeting everyone. Apparently I had been away on vacation for a while and they all missed me. After greeting everyone, Ramona asked me if I could take her to the mall. I agreed.

Suddenly I was at the mall. It was quite busy and Ramona was walking towards A&W. I quickly caught up with her and the man working there handed us a bunch of fries on a tray. The man seemed to be in a weird trance and Ramona took the tray and guided me to a table, without paying. Then I realized...we weren't an ordinary family. We were a family of witches and wizards. We ate very quickly and started walking through the mall. All the stores were different than the ones I'm used to. Instead of a hair saloon by the entrance, there was a bead store. There were buckets of different colored and shaped beads. Ramona seemed to be amazed by all the colors.

Then I decided to go back home so that I could spend time with everyone else. We somehow teleported to the front of our house and my aunt Helga ran outside to tell us that my sister Jackie was having her baby. We quickly ran upstairs. As it turns out, it was Jackie from That 70s Show and her boyfriend was Sam from Supernatural (Jared Padalecki ♥). She had already given birth by the time we walked in the room and she was holding her baby girl. They named her Angel Lynn. Everyone left the room and it was just me, Jackie, Sam, Ramona and Angel Lynn. Sam and Jackie started to get into an arguement and I could tell they had a very rocky relationship. I could also tell that Jackie was a bitch.

For the next little while in my dream, I witnessed them fighting on several different occasions. Every single time, Angel Lynn was crying in her basinet. And the worst part was: I was starting to get feelings for Sam. After their fights, he would come to me, looking for advice and comfort.

One night I was walking across the field to go home and I could see Jackie talking to some random guy in the middle of the parking lot. It looked like she was flirting and he was flirting back. Then I seen Sam walk around the corner with flowers in his hand, looking for her. Once he seen her, he dropped the flowers and turned around to angrily walk away. But Jackie noticed and started running towards him.

"Hey babe." She said, trying extremely hard to make the whole situation seem like nothing.

"Don't 'hey babe' me." he replied as he turned to face her. "Are you fucking him?"

"What? No. C'mon babe. I love you." she kept trying as she ran her hand down his chest and batted her eyelashes. He shook his head and stepped back.

"Well fine. Fuck you then. I don't need ya. The only one I need is Angel Lynn." she snapped and walked away. "And you'll never see her again." she yelled as she walked inside the house.

The next day I was walking through the parking lot and Sam walked up to me.

"I wanna see her." he said.

"Jackie? She kinda hates you." I replied.

"No. Not Jackie. My daughter, Angel Lynn." he told me as he grabbed my arm, stopping me from walking.

"She doesn't want you to see her. If it were up to me, I'd let you. But its not. I'm sorry." I told him.

Suddenly Ramona ran out of the house and towards us. She looked frightened.

"Whats going on?" I asked.

"Jackie has something to tell you. Its about the guy in the parking lot." she told Sam. He started running towards the house.

"You're not allowed in the house!" Ramona yelled and we both ran towards him.

"Fine. I'll wait here." he said as he sat on the stairs. Ramona ran inside.

"What do you think is going on?" I questioned.

"I don't know. But I think..." he started to cry. "I think that guy is Angel Lynn's real father."

I shook my head. "No. That can't be it."

"Yes it is. I know it!" he started to get hysterical. Then Jackie walked out of the house. "What is it?" he yelled at her.

"You're not her father. So leave us alone." she said.

"I knew it! You bitch! Who is her real father? Is it that guy from the parking lot?" he screamed.

"Yes. Now leave." she demanded. He didn't even hesitate; he ran away.

Then I went into the house and down to the basement, where my cousin Doug lived. He was a bit mentally handicapped and had beer bottles all over the floor. He was sitting on the coach watching hockey in his boxers.

"H-h-hey. Wanna beer?" he awkwardly asked. I nodded and he passed me one. "Rough day?"

"Oh yeah. Big time." I said as I sat down beside him to watch hockey.

Then my dream went seven years into the future. Jackie had gone through many boyfriends. Her newest one was a complete douchebag. Angel Lynn was a beautiful seven year old girl, but I could tell she was unhappy with her mother's decisions. Sam and I had been in a relationship for almost seven years and were engaged (and quite happy). Ramona was a teenager and on the boy's hockey team at her school (tough girl!).

My dream ended with all of us in the basement, hanging out with Doug. All the kids were play fighting and batting around an apple, because there was no ball. Sam and I were kissing by the window. Jackie was standing with her douchebag boyfriend who was bragging about his gold chains and everyone else was sitting on the coach with Doug.

So yeah. I know its not the most well written piece of literature. I'm half asleep and I didn't wanna spend forever writing it...so I half-assed it. But I think you see the basic point anyways. I kinda wanna write it into a short story, but I don't know if I'll have the time. I've got a busy week ahead of me...