I came to the realization of something today...I'm going to die alone. Everyone I know has a boyfriend/girlfriend, family, etc. They have someone that they see on a regular day-to-day basis. But me? I have no one. I live alone, I have no boyfriend/girlfriend, my family all lives in Halifax, etc. Theres no one who truly cares about me. Yeah, I have awesome friends, but they care about other people a lot more than me.
This isn't the only reason I came to this conclusion. Also, whenever I date someone; it ends horribly. I always get my heart broken. I always get left for someone else. I always get cheated on. I'm never someone's special-love-that-they'll-never-forget-even-after-breaking-up-and-finding-someone-else. I've never had someone truly love me. Just a lot of abusive-asshole-cheating-heart-breaking boyfriends.
But I'm accepting it. I'm accepting the fact that I'm not pretty enough, I'm not thin enough, I'm not smart enough, etc. I'll never be special to anyone & I will in fact, die alone. I'm just going to stop dating entirely. I'm just gonna give in, before I spend my whole life getting my heart broken. Might as well end the hurt now...
You're not going to die alone, you're only seventeen years old! You honestly do have a lot of time ahead of you to worry about finding a boyfriend or starting a family. If your friends have long relationships, don't jump to the conclusion that they're going to be together forever, whether or not they're engaged, as divorces/breakups happen. My uncle and aunt met each other when they were 31 and 34 :P
ReplyDeleteI really don't understand why you're worrying :) You (and i'm assuming everyone has said this) have your whole life ahead of you to find love and start a family.
*hugs*
Deidre; sometimes I honestly don't know what to
ReplyDeletesay to you that might make you feel better. You
are BEAUTIFUL, CREATIVE, HIGHLY INTELLIGENT,
CARING ABOUT THE GREATER WORLD, and MUCH MORE.
It doesn't even matter to me what you decide to
do with your life. I will support you in whatever you choose. Of course I hope it is ultimately beneficial to you!
This world (the people in it), can be very cold, cruel, and merciless. I myself began to,
unfortunately, learn that from a young age.
In the words of John Lennon's song "Working class hero", "As soon as you're born they make you feel small...".
Anyway I love you! I hope you can believe that. If not then it still won't change that
fact. I'm looking forward to coming to spend
time with you over Christmas.
Love Dad